The Bash 'GOD' Thread

[QUOTE=alice_in_wonderland]
But I promise I’ll walk him, and feed him, and brush him and give him water everyday!! Can I have one? CanIcanIcanIcanIcanIcanIcanI? Pleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseplease? Huhhuhhuhhuhhuhhuhhuhhuh? Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeese!?!?!?!?!?!?

I promise I’ll be good. <sniff>
[/QUOTE]

Thats what our daughter said when she wanted a puppy…since she was soooo lonley being at home.

She got the puppy

4 days later we find the puppy chewing on a used condom…

:dubious:

[QUOTE=alice_in_wonderland]
But I promise I’ll walk him, and feed him, and brush him and give him water everyday!! Can I have one? CanIcanIcanIcanIcanIcanIcanI? Pleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseplease? Huhhuhhuhhuhhuhhuhhuhhuh? Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeese!?!?!?!?!?!?

I promise I’ll be good. <sniff>
[/QUOTE]

(Stern Look) Well ok, you can have a pony. But, young lady, I swear…

[QUOTE=tomndebb]
As is my habit, I was only dealing in actual entities such as the Guaranteed Overnight Delivery trucking company (Eastern U.S.).
[/QUOTE]

Well, rain on my parade then. It took me ten minutes to think that up, dammit.
Especially since I have never heard of that company. I thought you were doing a clever play on words there tom.

I am slightly nonplussed. :wink:

But, but, but… Our Bog is Dood!

He never calls, He never writes…

I hear he used creatine.

[QUOTE=crinz83]
This thread was created to pit a mythology that is so pervasive in our cultures.
Fire away.
[/QUOTE]

It would be nice if he would have actually created us all equal to make it easier to participate in the Religion of Equality.

Plus it woulda been a heck of a lot more fair.

I for one welcome our old deific overlord.

[QUOTE=crinz83]
Over 5 million posts? OVER 5 MILLION POSTS???
I’m going to do a search.
OVER 5 MILLION PREVIOUS POSTS???
Hey, I’m going back to read Mark Twain. If any thoughts of his are similar to mine, I’m going silent. SILENT, MOTHAFUCKA!!
[/QUOTE]

You say this as though it were a bad thing. :dubious:

[QUOTE=essell]
I for one welcome our old deific overlord.
[/QUOTE]

That’s not what the Flying Spaghetti Monster looks like.

Is it? :eek:

I’m annoyed about the ballsack. Penes are masculine and impressive (well, mine is, at least :wink: ), but ballsacks just hang around awkwardly and make the whole thing look silly. Especially when you shave off a few too many hairs. For that matter, where are my retractable claws and Spider-Man-style web shooters? I was sure we’d have those by 2005 at the latest.

So, I’ve got a question. Can God nuke a burrito till it gets so hot even He cannot eat it?

Bastard owes me twenty bucks! Not only that, the last time he was over he drank my last beer and left orange Cheetoh dust fingerprints on my new microfiber couch. Oh, and I think the dog’s pregnant, too! I’m not letting that guy back in the house 'til he learns some damn manners… :rolleyes:

Dammit, quit posting! Quiddity Glomfester is tired of the same old axe to grind!
Please only grind new axes… only completely new ideas.
Quiddity Glomfester is tired… this has been done 5 million times before.
What a creative name… Quiddity Glomfester. I love the funny location of Quiditty Glomfester… playing with Victoria… very creative. And the ‘rolling the eyes’ smiley is original, funny, and creative.
Quiditty Glomfester: “Attacking my name and location… how original ‘rolls eyes’”
Crinz: “Yer a fucking A-Hole”.
Quiditty Glomfester: ‘rolls eyes’
Crinz: “Fuck you”
Quiditty Glomfester: ‘rolly eyes’ smiley.

(Sitting at a desk, reviewing Gods resume, Him in a chair in front of me)

“OK, we’re looking for the strengths you can bring to our organization. Let’s see here, hmmm “little green apples.” Yes, that’s impressive. Well thanks for coming in. We’ll be contacting the final candidates for further interviews and we’ll let you know either way.”

[QUOTE=tomndebb]
As is my habit, I was only dealing in actual entities such as the Guaranteed Overnight Delivery trucking company (Eastern U.S.).
[/QUOTE]

I wonder if GOD subcontracts anything to Covenant Transport?

[QUOTE=tomndebb]
I can’t think why anyone would continue to believe in Guaranteed Overnight Delivery.
[/QUOTE]
Believe in them?!

I’ve seen them, I tell ya!!

And they’ve got a cool phone number. 1-800-DIAL-GOD.

I kinda like the idea of an overnight delivery service that also offers telephone communication with the Almighty.

[QUOTE=cochrane]
So, I’ve got a question. Can God nuke a burrito till it gets so hot even He cannot eat it?
[/QUOTE]
Yeah, but then He gives it to His Son, who’s got twelve starving friends who’ll eat anything.

[QUOTE=Klaatu]
There are no original ideas left, we just find creative ways to say the same shit over and over.
[/QUOTE]
Just say over there left we same shit are over and the ways find are ideas to original.

[Quote=crinz83]
This thread was created to pit a mythology that is so pervasive in our cultures.
[/Quote]

If you put a ‘Fraternal Order of Police’ sticker on your car window and you get pulled over for speeding, the officer will let you go with a warning?