Our good friends at the Beeb have thoughtfully put together a helpful FAQ outlining the things one shouldn’t do when casting one’s vote in the upcoming UK election.
I thought it might make interesting reading for our American friends, at any rate. 
I see you’re allowed to take a dog to the polling station, and that you’re not allowed to let your kid mark your ballot for you, but I don’t see anything about not letting your dog mark the ballot card.
“This ballot has dogshit on it…that’s one vote for the BNP.”
If you bring two or more dogs, the polling station staff will hold their leashes while you vote? They’ll watch your kids while you vote? Really? I can’t imagine that going over here.
Dammit, missed a chance to go in fancy dress. We don’t have a pirate candidate* but we do have a Monster Raving Loony guy who wears a carrot costume. Are you allowed to go dressed as a pirate and vote for a bloke dressed as a carrot?
- Milton Keynes, a pirate would be silly. We get carrot man.
snerk
So would this be a vote for the louses?
More indication that the election is going to the dogs:
The Monster Raving Loony Party’s still about? I thought they’d disbanded! I thought the Blah! Party was the nearest equivalent these days. I wonder where I got that idea.
Possibly from the death of Screaming Lord Sutch. Doesn’t Westminster have two pirate candidates?
… is this a joke, or are British people completely unaccustomed to the rigors of the franchise?
This year is probably the first time in over a decade that there’s going to be a very high voter turnout, including a large fraction of people who’ve been 18 for >5 years who have never voted before in their lives…
This would make sense, except that I clearly remember him having a predecessor :smack:
I’m a member of the Royal Family. Can I vote?
Are there really so many in the Royal Family that this merits a question? I mean, the answers seem to be pretty relaxed and even a bit tongue-in-cheek, but the questions all seem straightforward.
I think you have to be from the Commonwealth to fully appreciate the sublime sense of humour that the BBC’s online outlet is capable of in some situations.
They could just say “Can members of the Royal Family Vote?” But that’s a bit too straightfoward. There’s a lot of members of the Royal Family, including fairly minor ones who are 281st in line for the Throne and things like that, so it’s an amusing but potentially valid question to ask in a slightly fun and tongue-in-cheek way. 
Ha. I’m usually pretty good at detecting subtle humor like that, but apparently not good enough. 
They’re still about, and as Loony as ever. I rather liked their proposal to change the lions on the Coat of Arms to badgers. 
Also, apparently, if you stand as a Monster Raving Loony Party candidate in a seat and get too many votes, that means you’re not Loony enough and you get kicked out of the party.
I wish they’d form an Australian branch. 
If you refer to the Monster Raving Loony Party, they’re real and have actually had some electoral success. I have voted on occasion, when all the regular party candidates were total twits, for a similar Canadian party, the now sadly dissolved Rhinoceros Party of Canada. Westminster style politics is fun!
Dang it. The things we miss out on with a two party system. 
I want to stand for the Monster Raving Loony Party. I’m really, really good at not getting votes, too.
(I love you, Internet!)
Oh, I believed them about the party - I was asking if Brits really have no clue at all about how one casts a vote. Did your mother not take you when you were little? Do you not know other… voters? Is voting held in some sort of secret crypt with very little signage? Are there no ancient wizened poll workers?