http://www.scifi.com/onair/index.php?id=1 I hate to admit how many of these I have seen. But then I think Jeepers Creepers and JC 2 are very good. So what do I know.
“Boo!” is the best movie ev… bursts out laughing
That movie was terrible, at least I’m pretty sure that was the one. They went to an abandoned hospital that’s haunted and… it was just terrible. It also had possible the cheesiest scene where a ghost EXPLODES in a pile of BLOOD (somehow) near the end.
negative 8 stars
Ooh! Aztec Rex! I’ll bring beer, who will host with the big ass TV?
Cortez vs. a T-Rex vs. the Aztecs?
Hellz yeah that’s a great idea for a film!!
I don’t remember the name of it, or even care enough to look it up, but there was one about a group of people trapped on an alien planet where they are terrorized by giant space bears. At one point a space bear just barely touches a guys head with a swipe and the head goes flying off. It looked so fake it wound up being shown on the Soup, which is how I found out about the movie in the first place.
Worst, Entrapment. How it qualifies as science fiction is beyond me, but they showed it here in the UK on the Sci-Fi channel.
I loved that one.
I second Pollux Oil’s recommendation of “King of the Lost World” as one of the SciFi Channel’s worst. It wasn’t just that the plot was retarded in places, but it had incredibly bad special effects. For example, the giant Kong wannabe was badly drawn. His fur appeared to be sticking out at odd angles, as if he’d been shocked by a LOT of electricity. But worst of all, he was partially transparent – you could dimly make out bits of the background THROUGH him.
Now, I have admitted my love for CGI on this board before, but even I have my limits, and this Kong was WAAAAAAY beneath them.
But I wouldn’t say KOTLW was the worst sci-fi channel movie. The worst movies are the dull ones, and things happened in KOTLW … in addition to badly made Kong, there were unconvincing pterodactyls, unbelievable natives demanding human sacrifice, airplane crashes, nukes … the plot rolled right along.
The worst would be something like “Atomic Twister.” It was about a twister that was somehow sentient and wanted to go to a nuclear power plant to get big and powerful off radiation or something. The budget for this one must have been nearly nonexistent as the bulk of the movie consisted of the main characters driving around and talking. There was precious little imagery of an atomic twister wreaking havoc. I thought the plot concept extremely rich in cheesy potential, but the actual movie was … nothing, really.
I’ve got some faves, such as the one with the thong-clad running Cassandra, and the one with every adventure movie plot cliche imaginable, but I’ll save that for another post. Got stuff I need to do.
Ah yes! I remember seeing the trailers for that one. It sounded ridiculously awesome at the time in an inane stupid way- That’s what I liked actually about that Sci-fi link that showed all their films- just going through them and looking at the tag lines for some of those films… Sheer AWESOME.
“Supercroc” a fave of mine is about a giant experimental croc escapes its secret research facility and eats people. I like it because it’s well paced and moves right along – the croc eats people, or almost eats people at a pretty good rate throughout the movie, and the giant croc is pretty good CGI. Early on there’s a scene of a photographer going to the lakeside park where the croc dwells along with two hotties in bikinis he plans to photograph. The croc snacks down on the photographer and one of the hotties in short order, while the other hottie, whose bikini is very skimpy indeed, watches in horror ands screams a lot. Then she high-tails it into the woods. She finds people heading for the park a couple of times, and tries to warn them about the croc, but they take one look at this pretty much naked young woman running through the woods and babbling about giant lizards and advise her to lay off the recreational drugs, and go on their merry way, which results in much chompulation of them by the Supercroc. Hence, Naked Cassandra. I would have extended Naked Cassandra further, with everyone ignoring her but the Supercroc throughout the movie, but eventually, and not nearly as eventually as I would have liked, she gets chompulated, too.
Aw, man.
I’m partial to Snakehead Terror. Yes, the town is terrorized by Snakehead “walking catfish.” Here’s what they really look like. Here’s what they look like in the movie.
Starring Bruce Boxleiter and Carol Alt.
My favorite scene - where the smarmy reporter is in his van talking on the phone about his great scoop about these fish that are eating people, and runs over a few of them, then for some reason freaks out and hits a tree after he’s run them over.
The crash leaves the passenger door open, and as he’s trying to find his glasses, a snakehead appears in the passenger door and eats him. No word on how it managed to climb into the seat. Also no royalties paid to Jurrasic Park, apparently.
The Bruce Campbell movie mentioned is Alien Apocalypse. I’ve watched it twice!
Anonymous Rex was terrible! It tried so hard to be good.
Dog Soldiers was a good movie, though it was not really produced by SciFi.
Dog Soldiers is great, and I agree it doesn’t belong in this thread.
Don’t miss the repeat of Warbirds. Hot chicks flying a bomber (and Japanese Zeroes!) in World War II crash land on an island full of pterodactyls.
This is so bad, they didn’t even instruct the guy soldiers how to fire their guns. They have M1 carbines, which are semi-automatic - just pull the trigger and fire. Yet this one guy is frantically cycling the bolt after each shot. Pretty funny after a while. I’ll watch it again just to look for the wasted rounds flying out of the gun.
I absolutely loved Mammoth, but mostly because of the cast. It has Tom Skerrit, Vincent Ventresca (the Sci-Fi Channel’s Invisible Man!), and Summer Glau- as a family! Tom Skerrit is the crazy grandpa, Vincent Ventresca the museum curator* father, and Summer Glau the daughter.
*You need a museum to justify having a huge ice chunk with a mammoth in the middle, in which the alien meteorite lands, possessing the mammoth. It has to be seen to believed.
For best?
SS Doomtrooper.
So…yeah. You basically already know what kind of flick this is. Essentially Wolfenstein: The Movie. Although without the occult elements (maybe they were saving them for the sequel), it covers the “fiendish Nazi mad science” angle pretty well.
Granted, while it might be difficult to make one an Oscar winner, it’s actually pretty hard to screw up a movie like this. Freaky Nazi Mad-Science, heroes fight freaky Nazi mad science. Nazis die, heroes win.
But Doomtrooper is among that gifted class of B (or worse) movies that isn’t either trying to be Something Really Meaningful And Now They’ll Be Sorry They Laughed Me Out Of Film School, or just a lump of cinematic shovelware. It’s having a good time just being itself; it’s like it’s saying “I know I’m cheesey, but that’s okay. I’m going to revel in it. And I’m going to do a goshdang good job at it, too.”
The movie “King Snake” has just about every imaginable adventure movie cliche you can imagine thrown into the mix. It had:
- Giant snake (natch)
- Remote native jungle tribe who’ve never seen white men
- Who worship said giant snake
- Rare plant which has quality that can confer immortality
- Located only on land of giant snake and jungle tribe
- Evil corporate types who lust for rare plant
- Heroic scientist (female) who wishes to help humanity with plant
- She’s working for evil corporate type because she’s naive and doesn’t realize he’s evil
- She runs into tough male guide who’s cynical about whole venture and
- Warns them that they will probably all die, but goes along anyway
- Mad scientist
- who worked with plant earlier and has since gone native and now runs through jungle in face paint and banana leaves, acting whacky
- Damsel in distress scene (scientist woman of course)
- Cynical guide and naive scientist fall for each other
- Natives turn out to be wise and thoughtful stewards of the plant
- Which the formerly naive scientist decides mankind is not ready for
I’m sure there are a lot of other cliches I missed in this stinker, these just were what I had in the top of my head. It’s still an excellent SciFi Channel movie – to get that many cliches in a movie, you really have to move things along.
damn you, ranchoth!
i wasn’t fast enuff! 
OMFG i loved doomtrooper.
what’s not to love in a movie that in-your-face bad?
here’s my picks -
baddest:
doomtrooper
any *bloodrayne * flick
ogre (a close third. maybe tied with bloodrayne. nope, bloodrayne’s worse.)
lost voyage
bestest:
dog soldiers
(altho i agree. it doesn’t deserve to be lumped in with the rest of skiffy’s cinematic dregs)
bone eater
alien appocalypse (bruce campbell. nuff said)
Bad:
“Sabertooth” in production value & plot it looks like it was made by a film school undergrad with alot of money or a super-talented high-schooler who won a Sci Fi make-your-own-movie contest. The Sabertooth himself is a really, really poorly done special effect. Confession: looked it up on imdb to refresh my memory and get spelling right etc. - what was the tag-line User Review?:
Even my cat hated it. I really laughed at that.
**
Good:**
Well I’d say Razor the Battle Star Galactica film.
If that is cheating then I would say the Wraiths of Roanoke was a very cool concept that came no where close to its promise but was even a little scary & I dug it a little. If this wasn’t an anonymous message board I would never admit that in a million years