Am I the only one who thinks they come up with the names first and then write the movies?
They’re hilariously bad, and would almost be campy if they didn’t take themselves do seriously.
THESE ARE THE BEST MOVIES EVER!! They are so bad they are comedies! Only the creature ones though. Not the “horror”. My family records them and watches them on Sunday with a bottle of wine and do MST3K.
The best so far is Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus. There is a scene where they are in a sub. A movie production guy flashes in and out of existence in about 2 seconds. There is another scene where Debbie Gibson is driving a sub and is punching something into a key pad. The key pad moves as she types like it was just a piece of celophane taped to a board. Both minor technical glitches that are truly insignificant when compared with the bad acting, the bad toupees and A SHARK BITING A 747 IN HALF IN MID AIR!!!
Another good one was Basilisk where a giant snake-like creature who up to this point has been biting people in half, dantilly nips off Yancy Butler’s dress (about 10 years too late in my opinion) leaving her in bra and panties until it finally bites her in half with the most comically incompetent CGI I have ever seen.
GREAT entertainment–just not what they intended.
I personally just don’t think creature movies are scifi. Good thing they changed their name.
I did see a couple movies I liked on there: one about people in space who get an infection that makes them want to kill each other, and one about accidentally falling through time and some creatures langoliers that would eat time that had already passed. They were both actual scifi: one because it featured humans in spacetravel, the other because it featured time travel. (The other options are extremely high tech inventions or aliens.)
My favorite is Dinosaur Island (IIRC). Ridiculously hot chicks are flying a B-17 (29?) with a nuke on it and have to land on an island where the Japanese have recently brought to life some dino-death-from-above. So bad, in so many ways.
**turner **- I have a graphic to share with you.
I wonder how I can get to write one, hopefully ousting out the hacks currently getting the gig.
I wonder the same thing about a lot of stuff on TV, in films, and in books too…
I am really really really really looking forward to Stonehenge Apocalypse, which I think is coming out this summer. Aside from the awesome name, [del]my boyfriend[/del] Misha Collins (Castiel on Supernatural) is in it.
Well, the Ski Ffy remake of the remake (or whatever) of Riverworld just wrapped up-after 2 1/2 hours, I just couldn’t stand it anymore. It was worse than the ‘03 version, if that can be believed. I grasp how some plot lines have to be shortened, characters composited etc., even if you are only trying to adapt the first two books, but the lead hero was a whiny git, they eviscerated Sir Richard Burton (The African Explorer not the actor) and turned him into a villian, the plot was a hopeless mess, and for the second time they had horses (mechanical ones albeit). Sam Clemens’ boat was a hopeless little scow not a mammoth multistory riverbattleboat, and Joe Miller, my favorite character in the books, was MIA. I did like Samurai Grrl. I still think the original books are eminently adaptable, but nobody’s going to try to do so now for another 30 years or so. <sigh>
I completely agree about these being comedies. They are always super entertaining, and the premises are completely absurd, which really makes the movies that much better.
Sometimes I think they know full well how hilarious they are. I mean, in Yeti the lead character is the quarterback of his football team–his name is Peyton Elway. That shit is classic. Also, I’ve found a few of them to have some genuinely watchable moments. James Marsters was in one called High Plain Invaders that had a plot and character development and even some humor.
Ice Spiders was awesome!
SS Doomtrooper made me a sad panda. So much promise squandered.
Ice Spiders was awesome!
SS Doomtrooper made me a sad panda. So much promise squandered.
Wyvern was pretty funny as well. Hick town in Alaska, dealing with a month of sunlight and a dragon.
Actually an adaptation of Stephen King’s short story.
Yeah. It was dull and uninteresting. Just like the last Riverworld thingy they did. I dunno if Ssy Fai hates Phillip Jose or Ursula worse, at this point. But they sure seem to love Steven King.
Was happy when I realized that “Tomoe” would turn out to be Tomoe Gozen. But even Helo and a cameo from Gaeta couldn’t save this log. Fairly much ruined Riverworld from any adaptation for decades to come, methinks.
So, they were faithful to the books then?
She looked fine, and had an intriguing accent, always a plus.
But she didn’t look remotely Asian.
Pretty sure they’re using the tried-and-true “dartboard method.”
Speaking of TV movies and SK, those are always dreadful.
Most of the Swiffer movies are just cheezy fun.
This is especially true of the "monster manual" movies (Ogre, Griffin, Wyvern...) where it seems the goal is to take the name of the creatures from the encounter tables and make a bad movie out of it.
Can't wait for "Kobald." ;)
As for that thing they called Riverworld. This honestly seemed like an effort to make something that just sucked, and not in a good way.
I agree that it was badly paced and dull. I couldn't' finish watching it. I thought the Burton was a very odd choice for the villain. While the Real Sir Richard may have not been perfect, I had always though of him as one of history's "good guys"
Looking up the original, it would seem that Phillip Jose Farmer would agree with me. Burton was one of his hero characters. :smack:Why would she have any accent at all, since the Magic Aliens made everybody speak English? In the book, didn’t everybody speak their original language? Establishing communication among these diverse people from all parts of the world & all of history (& prehistory) was part of the fascinating setup. I seem to remember Burton using his linguistic skills to good advantage.
Yeah, that sort of thing couldn’t be fit into 4 hours. But why did she have to have any sort of “accent” at all?
And she was not any kind of Asian. She’s Canadian–perhaps with a bit of First Nations?