Do you think Citizen Kane would have been better if Rosebud was a giant man eating armadillo? Do you think Gone With the Wind should have been about a radioactive super hurricane that destroys New York? If you answered yes, then this is the thread for you. Pitch your idea here, and remember, if the people behind Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus can get that thing made, then your idea stands a pretty good chance, too. I’ll start us off:
Brick Shetland is a rogue lepidopterist who was kicked out of the Navy Seals because his unconventional ideas about butterflies were too extreme for the military establishment. He’s a loose cannon, but after an accident in an Iowa based government genetics lab releases an unspeakable horror, it’s up to Brick and a beautiful FBI agent to save the day in: Mothra: Death over Des Moines
The only choices are ridiculous monster flicks and souped-up versions of classics?
I can’t ask for, say, a remake of Demon with a Glass Hand with CGI effects and more convincing aliens? or a faithful adaptation of Fredric Brown’s Arena? Or some low-budget but well-made adaptation of some other short story, like Robert Sheckley’s The Leech? Or maybe even Heinlein’s By His Bootstraps without screwing it up?
Nope, those are just a couple that I came up with. Be as creative as you want, just remember the type of movies that the SyFy channel actually makes. Here’s the section of their site that lists all the “SyFy originals”. I don’t think you’re going to find a faithful adaptation of Heinlein in that list, but you will get stuff like: Man With the Screaming Brain: A rich industrialist and a cab driver are fused together and must share a body to find the woman who murdered them both. Now that’s a SyFy movie.
Yeah, but they adapted Tom Godwin’s The Cold Equations and Rod Serling’s The Town that Turned to Dust. They even tried to adapt Riverworld and EarthSea and Lathe of Heaven. They failed miserably with the last three, but at least they were trying to do real SF.
Attack of the Alien Space Bats, Supersized bats attacking commercial airliners over the Praire Provinces of Canada. I’d thrown in as much Canadiana as possible, but just for laughs film in the States. I’d also flip the gender roles so all the bimbo eye candy roles (like scientists 20 yrs to young for their jobs) are young men straight out of Abercrombie & Fitch, whole all the authority figures (inlcuding evil military types) are middle aged women.
Wyrm: In the highlands of Scotland, an amphibian expert has been persuing his maverick theory that legends of dragons were inspired by rare instances of a species of ordinary newt remaining in it’s juvenile stage and growing to monstrous proporttions. Hormone treatments of test animals have resulted in one growing into a 15-meter long voracious carnivore. When it kills the scientist and breaks loose to terroize the countryside, authorities call in Britain’s best newt man, a brash Australian big game hunter, and a pretty local woman who’s knowledge of dragon lore yields clues to the monster’s movements and whereabouts.
It’s a shame that reasonably good (though cheesy as all hell) concepts are ruined by low rent everything-else as well. Some of Syfy’s ideas only need a few tweaks by someone with actual talent, without needing to increase the budget, to make them more watchable.
My idea:
Set in the 18th Century, a mysterious masked folk hero is captured by a secret organisation run for the King, where he is enticed to work for them as their head spy. Much dashing adventure takes place, with crossbows and flintlock pistols, and a romantic interest.
But as he investigates, it turns out the organisation are the real enemy, and his every act for them has been in service to an evil plot to kill the King.
Somewhere in amongst there are clockwork robots and giant lizards.
I am actually planning to write a script sort of like this, only hopefully less cheesy
An underground DARPA funded project, staffed only by models, are hard at work creating the ultimate bio-weapon: Leeches with the strength of 100 leeches!
When Christy Banks, head of research and a D cup size, accidentally reverses the polarity on the ionization tank (keeping the leeches in a state of unleechness), it’s an all out massacre, killing all but the best of the best looking and the worst of the worst acting. And also that one black guy.
Christy, Sky and Dillan try to stop the leeching hoard before they enter the general population and dazzle citizens with their horrible CGI just before they suck them of their lower intestines. Because that was a weird side-effect, the super-leeches suck out lower intestines.
Oh and,
Sky dies. Which leaves just Christy and Dillan. Bow chicka bow bow…
Oh and,
As Christy and Dillan mouth kiss, the camera pans down to reveal a sole leech squirming its way toward the sewer drain. The End?
Giant mutated cockroaches invade modern-day Los Angeles, via a time portal from 500 BC-era Egypt, along with a bunch of ticked-off ghosts of Pharaohs who want to get their mummified remains back from modern museums. An actor, whose last job was in a TV movie 20 years ago, plays a slightly geeky but nevertheless gorgeous museum curator, who must reunite with his cranky ex-wife and his kooky grandfather-scientist to fight the roaches/ghosts.
A communist alien warlord is beaming ideas of universal healthcare and a regulated economy to takeover the US. The warlord didn’t count on being spotted by the great scientists who’s son Flash Gordon Liddy is the only the only thing between us and things being generally pretty good.
In ancient times, hundreds of years before the dawn of history, an ancient race of people… the Druids. No one knows who they were or what they were doing… One of them, Nostro (Kirk Cameron) is some how teleported to modern day Vancouver, where he has an unfortunate coming together with a passing Velociraptor (Shannon Tweed). Stars Whoopi Goldberg as the Professor.
Mysterious car crashes are happening on the all-American Route 66. Flash Gordon Liddy investigates believe an sinister plot to destory American interstate commerce. Instead, he discovers Bigfoot has awaoke from hibernation and is irrated by these noisy fast machines. Flash Gordon Liddy must dipose of Bigfoot before the world finds out, since Bigfoot might be the missing link to prove evolution. And this movie would be called Slaughter Alley Oop of course.
