The Best TV Shows That Never Were

Anybody else just catch this?

It was an interesting look at TV shows that either had a pilot that was broadcast and never sold, or the pilot was never aired.

They showed about 45 seconds of the ill-fated American “Red Dwarf”.

That was about 44.99999999999 seconds too much.

For those of you who don’t like Scott “Quantum” Bakula in “Enterprise” should be glad “I-Man” or “Infiltrator” never sold. If they had, I can almost guarantee “Quantum Leap” would never have gotten on the air.

In “I-Man” he’s a “superhero” who is drenched in some toxic chemicals which gives the ability to heal rapidly. That’s it.

In “Infiltrator” he is working on a transporter (foreshadowing!) when he is fused with a spy satellite and becomes part-android, part-human. He actually says, “Beam me up, Scotty”!

You think the shows on TV are bad now, be thankful these stinkers never made it!

I remember I-Man! (The pilot movie, I guess?) The cute kid from Flight of the Navigator was in it.

IIRC Conan O’Brian, when he was a writer for *The Simpsons *, wrote a laugh-out-loud pilot that never aired. I don’t remember the name, but it starred Adam West and it’s apparently something of a legend in the televsion community. The creators of *The Simpsons * talk about it in the DVD commentary for the 4th season.

The pilot was called Lookwell.

There’s a funny little book called Unsold TV Pilots:

“That’s it”? Written right, that could be wildly popular, and is, as it’s the basis of Wolverine, the character that Hugh Jackman’s playing in the X-Men series.

I’m not saying the show would have been a smashing success but I don’t see where its premise is really all that bad either. After all, Jackman’s a huge commodity right now based almost entirely on his playing a pretty similar character.

Uh, no, the basis there would be the claws. The healing thing is just something extra they tacked on. Without the claws he’s just some guy who gets beat up a lot and tediously heals back to get beat up again.

When he was originally created as a villain for the Hulk, the claws were his raison d’etre, yes, but when he joined the X-Men, the focus shifted mostly to his healing factor and mysterious past.

It’s a fundamental aspect of his character. He’s not just “the guy with the claws*****”, he’s “the mysterious guy with the claws that can’t be killed”.

*I refuse to acknowledge the horrible, horibble Origins retcon and the stupidity of the bone claws.

And the TV show being discussed had claws where in the description?

Infiltrator was aired as well. IIRC He was working on a teleportation device and teleported into another scientist’s lab to prove that it worked (he’d previously faked it with identical twins and the like). He teleported into the same space as the android. When threatened, he would transform (sometimes partially, sometimes completely) into the android. Naturally the man and machine could not be seperated without the plans which had of course been stolen by an evil scientist.

The pilot aired as part of a package with two other shows. One was a sitcom about a retired spy. Other spies kept visting him.

I-Man. His son and dog were also indestructible. But, all three had a weakness. They needed light to survive.

What I said was that the premise has had success in the past and it has. Nothing more.

You may not believe that Wolverine’s healing factor had any part to play in his popularity but I do. Whether the show cited in the OP would have achieved the same levels of popularity is unknown (although doubtful) but I still maintain that it had some small chance if written intelligently.

…and after reading DocCathode’s post, it doesn’t look like it was written with the slightest modicum of intelligence.

I remember watching the “Generation X” pilot. I was not surprised that it did not survive.

That hurts, man.


He could run any faster, jump any higher, wasn’t any stronger.

Although it didn’t say, I’m sure he could be killed. I’d like to see him survive a trip through a wood chipper.

:smack: Posting too early in the morning!

That should be, “He couldn’t…”

Getting back to the show ahem

Wow, there were a lot of stinkers there. Ethel is an Elephant?

However, I did see a sliver of possible greatness in the American Red Dwarf. Of course, it would hinge on the their version of Rimmer. Daphne from Frasier was an decent choice for Holly though. I wonder if they did the “They’re dead Dave” scene, plus the sidewalk grit gag?

Genesis II: A scientist who has been preserved in suspended animation wakes up to find himself in a primitive society in the future. Writer: Gene Roddenberry. He filmed the pilot for this sucker twice, and couldn’t get a network to buy it.

The Questor Tapes: Android with memory loss searches for his memory with the help of B.J. Hunnicutt. Wooden-faced acting ensues.

Dune: After a failed attempt to make “Dune” with bizarre surrealist Alejandro Jodorwsky in Europe, O’Bannon returned to the US and began work on “Star Beast” (later retitled “Alien”)… This guy went 99.9% broke filming the first half of Dune in Africa. He spent two weeks huddled on a friends’ couch in England and started writing because he had to do something. He wrote Alien. I always wondered what those dailies looked like…

How about that sitcom with people in dog suits? :eek:
How did that one even get the greenlight to get the pilot made?
Oh, it was soooo bad… beyond bad, in fact.

[i}We’re Your Dog* was the title. There may have been worse pilots made, but I can’t think of one.