The Best Way To Skin A Cat

Everybody’s heard the phrase, “There’s more than one way to skin a cat.” Well, some ways are more fun than others, and I’d like to see just how creative this board can get. (Not that I’m actually going to use any of your suggestions… yet)

All I know is, now I have the Itchy & Scratchy theme running through my head.

The real question here is:

What did they used to do with the cat skins?

First off-- I am shocked and horrified that such a thing would even be suggested. Cats are wonderful creatures and many posters on this board are die-hard cat lovers.

That said, I think a good sharp cheese slicer and a pair of pliers ought to do the trick.

I have a technique I call “The Loose Tooth Method”. Tie the cats tongue to a long, slack string. Attach the opposing end to a sturdy doorknob. Slam door rapidly.

Done properly the cats innards will be yanked out so fast the skin will freely stand there retaining a cat-like shape for several seconds before suddenly collapsing like a soufflé’ with a moist “Flumph!” sound. A great icebreaker for parties!

Belt sander.

IIRC, you can just peel 'em like an orange.

well there is a very involved method, featuring a paring knife, some needlenose pliers, a dentist’s pick and a whole lot of whisky but i’ll spare you the details.

“There’s more than one way to skin a cat.”
There are 47.

For example, put his head in a bootjack and yank on the tail.

The standard method is to cut around the asshole and legs(without cutting the tail off), slice 'em from ass to mouth, then step on the tail as you pull firmly yet gently on the hind legs. The hide should come off quite nicely, although you may have to do some trimming around the head if you want that part.

If you’re looking for a not so efficient way, but double the fun, douse the kitty in gasoline and toss a lit match at it. Stand back! Burning kitty stinks!

If you want to make a coat out of cat skin, then I suggest the standard sharp knife slit down the center, then peel like a grape.

If you just want the skin off the cat so you have a full cat minus the skin, then I suggest you go with a potato peeler.

If you want to use the cat skin as confetti for your dog’s birthday party, the best thing would be a cheese grater.

You really need to be more specific as to the final use of the cat or the cat’s skin.

For the sake of this little brain storm, I’m really looking for the most sadistically pleasurable way. I say, why not tie his tail to a ceiling fan and let centrifugal force do it’s work.

Rottweiler.

or

Give it to B_Line12’s (sp?) gremlins.

In that case, go with the cheese grater, but wear gloves and hold that kitty tight, cuz they tend to put up a fight.

You know, a few years ago, I was trying to demonstrate to a coworker that you could find anything on the internet. So he challenged me to prove the phrase that there is more than one way to skin a cat.
I couldn’t find it out there before, but now my faith has been restored.

Blast it with compressed air…about 500 PSI might do the trick.

How do you make a cat go woof?

Soak the cat in petrol, stand back and throw a match.

Woof.

:eek: You people are SICK!

Well, it’s a tough job but somebody’s gotta do it.

Really? What tipped you off?

I once saw my Uncle use a toilet brush and “Liquid Heat.”

Rough up the cat’s ass with the brush, pour on the Liquid Heat and the cat will do the rest.