I claim this post in the name of the Queen!
Queen of what?
Queen of Germany, silly!
seal jr. is a goth-athiest in the bible belt. At least half the school made him their personal jesus project - he’d be quite a trophy (6’4", hair down to his belt, etc)
He finally opted out of HS, got his GED, now in tech school planning to be a hell-bound computer programmer. Can’t have too many of them, ya know.
Seal_cleaner, you should be proud. Very, very proud.
Hey, rain, you want me to come visit and rock their world.? I could be a real live homo! Oh, the fun we could have would put the Cat in the Hat to shame…
Esprix
“I claim this land in the name of the Continental Congress and the Great God Jehovah!”
“I claim Elvis lives… in a trailer park in Moline.”
“I claim all your soul belong to me.”
“I claim a first class seat on the Soul Train.”
“I claim E = mc squared.”
We hellbound programmers with GEDs are a unique breed & need to stick together. 
A little secret. We Southern gals have a phrase that we pull out whenever someone steps over the line with an inappropriate question or comment.
You look 'em dead in the eye and say “Well, bless your heart.”
It doesn’t make sense but it works.
Try it next time.
I claim you’re making me uncomfortable.
I claim your question is rude.
I live in North Florida and we’ve got plenty of those annoying kind of Christians too. I don’t mind it much, it helps me to identify the hypocritical morons faster. Besides, I find them entertaining. Unfortunately none are as entertaining as NoClueBoy, whose posts should be labeled, “Caution: May Cause Reader to Wet Pants.”
Luckily for me, the lady closest to me at work is an atheist (I’m a wishy-washy agnostic) and we get a kick out of those kuh-razy Christians!
Hmmm…Then the OP is confusing her Baptists with her Catholics when she writes:
That is usually a reference to the Roman Catholic Crucifix. Baptists and most other Protestants usually prefer an empty cross to symbolize the risen Christ.
Not that the OP would exaggerate even a little bit…
Just ask them, “Did you say personal?” And, no matter what they say, just keep asking it, emphasizing the word personal, until they get the point. Another possibility is appropriate for any rude question: “Why do you ask?”
Atheists are not the only ones subject to harrassment. So are other Christians with differing viewpoints. I can understand your objections to being submitted to this conversation and behavior in the workplace.
But I am also surprised at the vitriol and malice which suggests that Southerners and Christians are, by nature, ignorant.
Since the SDMB is about fighting ignorance, it’s interesting that these stereotypes and generalities go basically unchallenged.
NoClueBoy, you are making it very hard to take myself seriously.
“Yes, Violator is Depeche Mode’s best album.”
Well, in that spirit, I’ve got two responses to the question, “Have you found Jesus?”
“Yes, he was behind the couch all the time.” or
“Some of us never lost him.” I’d say with a small “h”, it’s appropriate for most non-Christians (I have friends who that might not quite work for, not that they care). With a capital “H”, it’s appropriate for those of us whose faith and/or denominations place little or no emphasis on the whole “born again” business.
Both of these are a bit snarky, but I can see circumstances under which I’d use them.
For something a bit politer, I’d go with, “Excuse me?” coupled with a look which says, “I’m shocked you’d ask something so incredibly rude about so personal a matter.” This should cover most religious questions, not to mention questions about your love life, etc.
I think some of what’s going on might be people assuming common ground exists where there isn’t any. That’s not intended to denigrate either side; it’s just that what one person takes for granted might be something the other person has never heard of. To throw out a non-religious example, I’ve lived in the United States for over 35 years, yet it’s only been in the past year or so that I’ve learned that most Americans don’t use the word “flannel” to refer to a cloth you use to wash your face or body. It’s still the most natural thing for me to call one of those things. In religious discussions with non-Episcopalians, it’s taken a few rounds to work out that what I always heard called “the Eucharist” is what they call “the Lord’s Table”, and I’m still not sure I’ve got the right terminology. If you put that spin on it, with “What do you claim?” being closer to “What do we have in common?” it might not be so bad. On the other hand, if you’re being stared at like you have two heads, or being asked how you could possibly be moral if you don’t follow a form of Christianity they’re familiar with, it probably is that bad.
CJ
This made me laugh so hard I choked on my own saliva.
FaerieBeth
So now you’re an undead homo? Some kind of homo zombie? Instead of brains, do you shuffle around saying “Meeeeeeeeeeeen! Meeeeeeeeeeeen!”? Will you be opening an Ask the Homo Zombie thread? How will your undead status affect your Presidency?
Inquiring minds, and all that.
Zoe, I am both Southern and Christian.
I just can’t stand the fundies and often have to bite my tongue in real life so that I don’t make people cry.
vanilla, the Queen of Germany, silly!
Ask the homo zombie!? :eek:
Do it!
Do it!
Do it!
I moved last year from NY to NC, and the only response to questions or discussions about religion that has worked for me is sticking my fingers in my ears and going “lalalalalalala…I’m not listening!”
Try it.
I’ve accepted Jesus Christ as my personal trainer.
Come on, the guy was a rail!
I’m seeing a lot of very funny and very clever answers. I’m also seeing a lot of answers that would result in people getting the shit kicked out of them, losing their jobs, getting their tires slashed and getting their houses burned to the ground. I know-I grew up an atheist in Northern Idaho, and while the attitude there was publicly “live and let live”, in reality the attitude was “live our way or else”. Any “smart-alec” answers you give to people of this sort will create a situation you definitely aren’t going to like.
Either commit yourself to calmly and quietly asserting your right to your point of view without even seeming to put down their point of view(and be prepared for retribution anyway), or pretend to go along with the crowd until you can get the hell out of there.
Just MHO, of course.