Yeah, but try getting your vote counted there if you’re not Republican …
Buffy: “I meant to, but then I just got really busy.”
I’ve been waiting for ages to use that! No one ever asks me, darn it.
Because one or two people may have misinterpreted my OP, I am going to state things in bold print.
**I do not have a problem with Christians.
I do not have a problem with Southerners.
I do not have a problem with Southern Christians.
I do not think any of the above are inherently stupid or lesser than me.
I have a problem with people of any regional origin, religious tendencies, or personal preferences who decide they need to complain about other groups - especially groups to which I belong, such as atheists, or groups to which I am sympathetic, such as homosexuals - in the work environment, where I believe such behavior is unprofessional and uncalled for.**
And as to the different crucifix preferences of various Christian denominations: I apologise for my ignorance. I really wouldn’t know, as I’ve only set foot in one church in my life, and it was United Methodist. While that church did not have a Jesus figure on their cross, I was unaware that this was due to their denomination, rather than the preferences of the individual church, nor did I realize that crosses with Jesus figures were specific to Catholics rather than any of the various Protestant or Baptist groups.
Who?
(While this has the potential to stun 'em into silence, allowing you to make a clean getaway, it’s also got the potential to backfire explosively.)
I have to admit, I’m pocketing a lot of these snappy comebacks.
I frequently go out to lunch with a certain group of coworkers who are of the mindset that the world is Christian. There are no other religions. You’d think they would’ve noticed the pentagram I wear around my neck every day, but apparently they haven’t.
Before we’re allowed to eat at lunch they have to bless the food. I don’t feel comforatable telling them I’m Wiccan, since I like them as people and would rather not be responsible for their heads exploding (plus the clean up would be a real bitch) so I usually just use the time to take in the atmosphere of the restaurant. It does slightly irk me though, that they just assume everyone shares their religion and feel free to dictate to everyone there that it’s time to “bless the food.”
Anyone have any little suggestions for that kind of situation?
Realistically? Meh. So long as they’re not asking you to actively participate, as in lead the prayer, (or more specifically, so long as they don’t mind you just waiting silently for them to finish) I’d say you just let it slide unremarked, out of respect for them, if not their religious beliefs.
But the snarky, fourteen-year-old, “keep your religion to yourself” part of my brain instantly responded:
Bless the food? Did someone sneeze on it? Did a mummy lay down some curse-fu on it? Let’s just eat!
[sub]Some days I need a mental gag to keep him quiet, for fear that he’ll get me lynched.[/sub]
Yes, that’s what I’ve been doing and what I’ll continue to do.
It just irritates me that they can’t just do it silently, without announcing to everyone at the table and of course, expecting complete silence while they do it. Why the need to make sure everyone knows what you’re doing? I know I’m not the only one who’s not Christian at the table.
Yes, I know it’s petty. I’ll stop now. I just had to get a little mini vent out…
When my best friend told me that she and her husband were leaving their super cool Greenwhich Village apartment and moving to Texas…well, I almost spit up (I was drinking a coke at the time)…but then I went to visit her in Austin. What a happy, progressive place! And I tell ya, the food is awesome there!! I would almost move there myself if it weren’t for those 110 degree days in the summer.
I do hope things get better for you Racinchikki. No one should have to put up with that ca ca.
Hmmmmmmm… if you can’t restrain the snarky 14-year-old some day, lezlers, how about saying “Bless the food? Well… better make it a good one, because the curse I put on it today was pretty powerful.”
I’ve a good friend DO who’s a soapbox Christian, meaning he will get on his soapbox and preach away if you don’t stop him. He’s gotten his proseletyzing under control for the most part, and he’s a fun guy.
Anyway, he took part in a Christian musical entitled Two Thieves and a Savior. This took place in an outdoor theatre that used to be part of Heritage USA…you remember, Jim and Tammy Faye Bakker (rhymes with faker). DO played a Pharisee who got to spit on Jesus.
After the show, I hung out with him and his cast members at a nearby Applebee’s. They were nice people, but being the lout that I am, I couldn’t help but say something inappropriate whenever somebody would ask me something religious in nature. This one girl asked me which church I attended, to which I responded “The Polyesther Church of Horizontal Throbbin’ Desire!” This got a WHAT??? and I told them about Reverend Billy C. Wirtz and his song “I got a Sleeper Hold on Satan and a Body Slam on Sin.” They chuckled amiably, but I think they were checking themselves to make sure they weren’t going contrary to an Old Testament directive somewhere.
The guy who played Jesus left early, and as he walked out, I said “See you in three days.” This got stunned silence. One guy had to make absolutely sure what I said was meant to be a joke before he committed to laughing.
I think if more Christians would actually read their Bible, instead of just assuming it says what they want, then there would be less of this workplace pressure that you guys run into.
In regards to announcing your prayers of thanksgiving, note what Matthew 6:5,6 has to say:
See what I mean about having to bite my tongue so I don’t make others cry?
Now, of course, I see leading a congregation in prayer during formal worship as a different thing. Matthew 18:20
The context of Matthew chapter 18 implies a congregational setting.
Something like this would have been my suggestion.
If they ask you to say the prayer at a lunch meeting: “God, please bless this meal that has been laid before us. We thank you for making it so tasty and delicious. We ask you for your grace and your goodwill that our meeting be productive and happy. And we ask that you keep these tasty and delicious morsels out of the hands and mouths of the depraved homosexuals so they all starve to death in the street like the filthy, diseased dogs they are. Amen.”
If they ask you to go to church with them on Sunday: “I really appreciate the offer, but we don’t have our services on what you call Sunday. Ever since the Whore of Rome announced the change from the Julian calendar to the Gregorian calendar in 1582, the days of the week have been off. Our founder was inspired by God to do the archeological research, and it turns out that what everybody thinks is Sunday is actually Thursday. Therefore, to stay in sync with daylight hours in Old Caanan, our Sabbath is from Wednesday at 6pm to Thursday at 4am. Everybody else is going to Hell.”
If they talk about going to a church picnic or other function: “My group is going down to Waldenbooks to tear the covers off all the Cosmopolitans. Evil Jew publishers are rubbing our children’s faces in the cleavage of the harlots and leading them straight to the debaucheries of fleshly desire. We have to protect our good white children from the Satanic temptations of the dark people and the Zionist sodomites. Wanna come?”
If they ask whether you’ve accepted Jesus as your personal savior: “Not only have I accepted Jesus into my heart, every Wednesday night our minister physically channels the Holy Spirit so I and our other ladies can accept Jesus into our bodies. He is not just our personal savior; He will be the father of our children. Praise Jesus.”
Okay, now, really, I don’t really recommend doing any of this. But in all seriousness, the only way you’re going to get stupid zealots like that to leave you alone is to make them concerned about you leaving them alone.
For sooth, I actually got to play some of this today and had some real fun.
My business partner and I agreed to sub a job from a new contractor. Well, he ain’t all that, let me tell ya. We’re kind of snobby about materials, and we’re both perfectionists, so this guy’s deal with lower quality materials and a “get in, get done, get outathere” SOP kind of leaves us cold.
So, when he says some thing about his uber church involvement (even tho he’s been swearing worse than a high school girl the whole day), I let loose with a carefully calculated scene of wierdness, fueled by this thread.
Me: “I found Jesus, too, you know.”
Him: “Really?”
Me: “Yeah. Turns out, he was between the couch cushions the whole time.”
Him: “Huh?”
Me: “Yeah. A little plastic Jesus, actually.”
Him: “What?” 
Me: “Well, okay. It was a G.I.Joe action figure.”
Him: :mad:
Me: “I just called him Jesus. Made me feel good inside.”
Him: [walks of, muttering]
Me:
NCB, you are the sexiest Christian ever! 
Wellll, there was this insufferable little snot in Chick’s full-sized comic “The Gift” (Cover has crazed soldier with sword in hand glaring at a babe-n-arms after breaking into the home.) and she surprised her fundie suicide-rescuers (and lapel-grabbers) by asking to say the blessing herself. Naturally they eagerly accepted her offer. :rolleyes: Not a very bright decision. She then proceeded to thank the sun god for growing her mountain-grown coffee and – oh, yeah, the fire god for lighting her cigarette.
True Blue Jack