Its been on my mind for a few days (ala a good Drew Carey episode) and since everyone is down in the dumps and looking for revenge, I figure Lex Luthor could use the help
Sure Sure, kryptonite is the easy answer…but look at how many times he has gotten out of it.
So put on the evil thinking caps and help me rid the world of this ‘man of steel’.
A kryptonite buttplug. His Ass-Cheeks of Steel will hold it in place nicely, making him unable to escape.
No, huh? All right… then we force him to listen to a Britney Spears CD.
I think that is unnecassary cruel!!! 
Hide his Clark Kent glasses. He will never be able to return to his alter-ego, I doubt that he can carry any money in his tights, so he will have to go to the dark side just so he can eat. Once he has joined the dark side the empire will be stronger than ever.
Oh, never mind. I misread. You said “How do we kill SuperMAN?” I thought you asked “How do we kill SuperDUDE?”
How did whatsisname, Doomsday, do it?
Since Supes gets his powers from our yellow sun, perhaps after a sufficient time away from sunlight he would be vulnerable to conventional weapons.
Or maybe psychological warfare would be more effective. Run a massive propaganda campaign against him, and ruin his life as Clark Kent, and he may become depressed enough to do himself in. It’s worth a shot.
Do you really want to know?
He punched him. A lot. That’s it.
I say we kill him with kindness.
A nuclear bullet just behind his ear. Easiest if he’s hit with sensory overload: blast him with static all along the electromatic spectrum. It’s been heavily hinted that a large part of his invulnerablity is due to hit willpower. catch him by surprise, and it’s much easier to hurt him.
Hit him with a gravity attack. His strength comes from being a heavy worlder on Earth.
Magic is a tried and true way of hurting Superman. Get Mjorner or Excalaber, and whacking Supes is easy.
Accelerate a depleted uranium shell to just under the speed of light and blast Kal El in the forehead with it.
And, yes, cutting him off from the sun will eventually snuff most of his powers.
A diet high in cholesterol? Oh, and low in fibre - make him suffer.
Feed him new Kelloggs[sup]tm[/sup] Krypto-Flakes! Stays crunchy, even in the airless void of space!
Drop a (non-leaden) safe full of Kryptonite off a building. Since he’s a hero, he’ll come dasing in to catch the safe…and the Kryptonite will take away his super powers. It’s messy, but effective.
Well, we don’t really have to do anything, Superdude has a tendancy to get crushed by his own waterbottle over spring break.
As someone once suggested, hand out nuclear bullets to a bunch of regular-looking thugs out to rob a bank.
Personally, I’d be more interested in exploring how to kill Slapstick (an obscure Marvel Comics super-hero who is almost essentially a living cartoon character), but I doubt anyone cares…
Here’s your basic ways to kill a Superman:[list][]The Doomsday solution. Hit him hard, and hit him alot. Same goes for bullet sized tactical nukes and the like. He’s only almost immortal. The problem: Very, very hard to do.[]Magic. Big Blue is just as vulnerable to supernatural forcess as the rest of us. Perhaps more so, depending on who’s writing. The problem: Hard to obtain, hard to predict. Sometimes a conjured cage will hold him, sometimes he’ll rid through it like mundane steel.Kryptonite. 'nuff said. Problem: Hard to obtain, in the post crisis-age. Prolonged exposure is carcenogenic to humans. Must be used creatively, or he’ll evade. I suggest small, but constant poisoning, followed by a massive dose once he’s too weakened to flee.[8]Red sun energy. Probably teh best solution. Get him out of teh sun, turn the red lamps on, then break out the kryptonite.
I say give him over to all the women of the SDMB to use as our sex slav. We will take care of him, Ohhhhh yes we will. And he will even die with a smile on his face.
Well, when nobody bought the book, Marvel killed him pretty effectively.
Make that our sex slave ! I got excited just thinking about it !
Ayesha, I hear Supes is bad in bed. First of, he’s got… uh… “small feet”. Second, he also finishes faster than a speeding bullet. And third, he always dashes off to save the world afterwards… he never sticks around for “pillow talk”.
Will SuperDUDE work instead? 'Cuz I’ll volunteer…
I don’t get it. Little help, please?
:running her finger along Superdude’s chest:
I’m answering instead of Ayesha. Of course you’ll do. I heard the same as SPOOFE. Superman isn’t that great. You know, if you take it slow and romantic, I am putty in your hands.