I think a closer quote is:
“You have to spend $2000 on a piano, because a $20 piano is no good. But for $20, you could have gotten a watch that does everything this one does. And with the money you have left over, you could buy… a piano.”
Raw chicken parts. I don’t remember exactly which parts, but the numbers didn’t match.
Funny.
SV1. Okay, we’ve established that Tom Poston played “The Peeper”. What were that character’s first and last names?
SV2. From what college/university did Bob graduate? How about Jerry?
SV3. When Carol was temporarily out (I think it was her honeymoon, but it could have been illness), what did her replacement (an older, scatterbrained woman) erroneously call Bob?
SV4. As a result of his giving a fake name, Mr. Carlin was asked by a ditzy woman: “More ________ for _______ ?” Fill in the first blank with the name of an alcoholic beverage, the second with a nickname based on his fake surname.
Bob went to Loyola University (Chicago). Don’t know about Jerry.
Cliff Murdock
More Cold Duck for Smitty?
Carol once dated an older man. What was his name?
What did Jerry call him?
What did Carol threaten to do if Jerry called him that again?
Jerry went to William and Mary.
That’s got to be right, because he was wearing a “W&M” sweatshirt during the Thanksgiving day episode. 
All the replies given to mine were correct. Carlin’s fake name was “Dick Smith”, which led to his being addressed as “Smitty”. SV3 is still up for grabs. Here’s a hint if you want one:
Carol’s replacement erroneously addressed Bob as “Dr. ____”, with the surname being one that’s prominent in Chicago politics.
Last chance on the two I still have out there:[ul]
[li]W2: What restaurant did the boys order the “moo goo goo goo” from? (House of…)[/li][li]W3: What was Bob’s response when Howard said he was going to brush his teeth after taking a bath? (Incredulous question)[/li][/ul]
TDN, would you kindly say, “Time’s up!” and give us the answers to your very difficult and as yet unanswered questions? Pretty please?
If you refuse I’ll send Mr. Herd over to stand on your doorstep for a while.
OK, here they are:W2:House of Hoo–Remember, Bob called them very drunk and said “Hello, is this Hoo?” W3: One of Bob’s best deadpan lines: “You take a bath with …dirty teeth?!”
TIME’S UP!
Remind me of the questioned still outstanding. From the OP:
- Why couldn’t Howard sing Oklahoma?
He didn’t know the words. He’s never even seen South Pacific!
- What was Henry Winkler’s profession?
Criminal. He was just out of prison.
- To whom did Bob compare his new furniture?
He didn’t like it. Hate was too strong a word. Hate is a word you use to describe Hitler. His furniture was more like Mussolini.
- How do you spell pride?
P-R-I-D-E. As in when Howard pride himself from the cockpit.
- When Bob thought of life without Emily, what was his secondary profession? Who played his wife?
He was a race car driver married to Morgan Fairchild.
Your earlier doubt was correct, tdn . Question #2 was indeed a MTM episode. Rhoda brought him to Mary’s “Veal Prince Orloff” dinner party. Remember Ted singing “It Came Upon a Midnight Clear”?
From IMDB:
“The Bob Newhart Show” playing “Miles Lascoe” in episode: “Clink Shrink” (episode # 2.19) 26 January 1974
“Mary Tyler Moore” playing “Steve Waldman” in episode: “The Dinner Party” (episode # 4.10) 17 November 1973
In MTM he wasn’t a criminal, he was just Rhoda’s date. In BNS, he was court ordered to see a shrink as part of his parole. He stole something–a tape recorder?–from Bob.
Incidently, those were his first credited roles.
Mea culpa, tdn , you’re right.
No problem.
What was Bob’s reaction to Emily’s tears?
He couldn’t help but laugh.
Carol once dated an older man. What was his name?
I don’t remember his first name, but his last name was Rivers.
What did Jerry call him?
Old Man Rivers.
What did Carol threaten to do if Jerry called him that again?
Rip his smock.
A few more answers:
- According to Jerry, what was “The boring part”?
“It’s the same old thing again and again. I meet a woman, we go out to dinner, then over to my place for sex. It’s boring! I want something more meaningful. On the other hand, I don’t want to give up the boring part.”
- What was Bob’s primary criticism of Emily’s tennis game?
She runs like a girl.
- What’s Chicken on a Stick?
Chicken on a Stick played rock music.
- What’s Teflon?
A new rock opera.
- What was “Fires of the Mind” changed to?
Blazing Brains.