Having use-or-lose vacation time going into the new year, I took the first week of January off and we drove south to what was supposed to be warmer weather.
Naturally, that was the week that Florida had a cold wave.
Perhaps the most interesting piece of the trip was early the second day, when we followed Spider Robinson’s advice and turned off I-95 onto A-1-A to Callahan. It’s a nice little town. We ate at a Huddle House, throwing jokes back and forth that probably mystified the inhabitants. Noted a Tiger Food Store; they must realize Tygr is a Callahan fan! 
Nearby was what we decided was The Trees’ Revenge: a severely trimmed-back tree had heavy cables running from one of the few remaining branches. Suspended from the cables was an Asplundh tree-removal truck with all four wheels missing. (I decided I didn’t want to know the reasonable explanation for why this happened; it makes too much sense just as is!)
We ate dinner just south of Frostproof, and I upset the waitress by asking her what they planned to rename the town (a freeze being forecast for the night).
Drove out the Florida Keys all the way to Key West. The place is definitely overrated: take one island, at the end of a long stretch of highway/causeway. Place beaches around the edges. Fill the remainder with every sort of retail establishment devoted to removing funds legally from tourists. Install crowds of people, none of whom, including us, have any idea where they’re going. Put some in cars, some on trolleys and tourist trains, some on bicycles and putt-putt rental things, some on foot. Probably a lot of fun things to see and do there, but nowhere to park, no directions, no nothing. (Note to gay membership: the city does have a Gay and Lesbian Visitors Bureau, on the main street.)
Miami: contemplate any large city with inordinate amounts of traffic, substitute palm trees for the local arboriculture. Blah. Miami has an orange with sunglasses that does the Times Square ball trick for New Years (Raleigh uses an acorn). Also has a satirical parade in which a “Fidel Castro” was carrying an “Elian Gonzalez” and a bunch of kids were dressed up as “the Million Chad March” (wearing signs indicating what sort of chad they were), among other, more local humor.
Merritt Island National Wildlife Preserve: There is something absolutely terrific about having a nature preserve cheek-by-jowl with Cape Kennedy (which we skipped this time, having been there a few years before). It was wonderful to drive through. We observed a wood stork (FKA “wood ibis”) which I gather is quite rare, along with a multiplicity of herons, egrets, and such. Had one egret do a seagull-leading-the-car stunt for about a half mile of road…beautiful! Wild (technically feral) orange trees in full fruit. Nice place.