The Celebrity Death Pool 2006

The Game Room
281

Just a guess based upon (log(value + 1) + 1) * ( occurances in news )

  1. Gerald Ford - former president
  2. Tammy Faye Bakker Messner - Godforsaken makeup spill
  3. Elizabeth Taylor - michael jackson look-a-like
  4. Muhammed Ali - boxer
  5. Fidel Castro - communist dictator
  6. Billy Graham - God’s brother
  7. Stephen Hawking - a smart Star Trek / Simpson’s hack
  8. Margaret Thatcher - Former PM and Ronald Reagan’s match
  9. Nancy Reagan - Ronald Reagan’s second main squeeze
  10. Kirk Douglas - great actor, but ravished by time
  11. Annette Funicello - great actress, but ravished by time
  12. Courtney Love - Singer, Snorts, Shoots, and generally sucks
  13. Dana Reeve - Superman’s widow

in case of premature demise I offer
alt. Don Ho - most undead in Hawaii, evah
alt. Lou Rawls - singer, I heard he was dead
alt. Lady Bird Johnson - former first lady

282

I have a revision. This is my last one. and I thank my neighbor for it. Who got it from her brother who lives in Seattle. The tentacles of dead pooldom are everywhere…

Please replace him with Susan Butcher (1954)

Please replace him with JD Salinger (1919) ( Writer. Old age. One more point and probably more noteworthy for the news than the other guy.)
Thank you very much, Numbers lady!!!
Good luck to everyone !

283

Almost forgot to get my selections in on time:

  1. Gerald Ford
  2. Nancy Reagan
  3. Dana Reeve
  4. George Steinbrenner
  5. Pete Seeger
  6. Aaron Spelling
  7. Arthur C. Clarke
  8. Osama Bin Laden
  9. Fidel Castro
  10. Charleton Heston
  11. Don Ho
  12. Wendy Wasserstein
  13. Lou Rawls

Alternates:

  1. Suzanne Somers
  2. Vincent D’Onofrio
  3. Gary Busey
284

This years choices to pass beyond the rim…

Albert “Dapper” O’Neil, Boston City Councilor forever

POTUS Jimmy Carter—he don’t look too good…

POTUS Gerry Ford—Dropped out of sight

Fidel ‘El Jefe’ Castro—it’s a waiting game…

Don Kent—Massachusetts weather forecaster, did forecast for Pilgrims on Plymouth landing…

Leona Helmsley—Karma is waiting in the wings…

Andreas Katsulas—Citizen G’Kar will be having a face-to-face with the Great Maker soon

Richard Truax—Rocket Scientist, for real

‘Uncle’ Walter Cronkite----should not check out any long books from the library.

Senator Ted Kennedy—who’s liver, like his Olds, will take a long drive off a short bridge…

Whitney Houston—who will give her handlers the slip someday…

Courtney Love—Train wreck in progress

‘Grandpa’ Al Lewis—you never know…

Of course, this will insure another year for all, or at least three quarters of them, like last year.

So many worthy targets, so few slots in the pool.

285

So much for being so fast—Drop Whitney, sub Lou Rawls.

I have GOT to clean this desk off—I can’t keep track of the walking dead…

Correct list:

This years choices to pass beyond the rim…

Albert “Dapper” O’Neil, Boston City Councilor forever

POTUS Jimmy Carter—he don’t look too good…

POTUS Gerry Ford—Dropped out of sight

Fidel ‘El Jefe’ Castro—it’s a waiting game…

Don Kent—Massachusetts weather forecaster, did forecast for Pilgrims on Plymouth landing…

Leona Helmsley—Karma is waiting in the wings…

Andreas Katsulas—Citizen G’Kar will be having a face-to-face with the Great Maker soon

Richard Truax—Rocket Scientist, for real

‘Uncle’ Walter Cronkite----should not check out any long books from the library.

Senator Ted Kennedy—who’s liver, like his Olds, will take a long drive off a short bridge…

Lou Rawls—Bad habits came home to roost

Courtney Love—Train wreck in progress

‘Grandpa’ Al Lewis—you never know…

Of course, this will insure another year for all, or at least three quarters of them, like last year.

So many worthy targets, so few slots in the pool.

286

The rocket guy would be Robert Truax.

287

Robert it is. One of the few I would miss.

I wonder what the ove/under is untill the pool is de-flowered?

288

Can’t help but take some easy points, so replace Mary Kate Olsen with Tammy Faye Bakker Messner and Stephen Cojocaru with Don Ho.

289

I just realized I had mixed up my late night TV hosts. My amended list:

1 - Muhammad Ali
2 - Ginger Lynn Allen
3 - Ronnie Biggs
4 - Gerald Ford
5 - Billy Graham
6 - Don Ho
7 - Art Linkletter
8 - Tammy Faye Bakker Messner
9 - Eleanor Mondale
10 - Lou Rawls
11 - Tom Snyder
12 - Elizabeth Taylor
13 - Margaret Thatcher

Of course, Larry King is now doomed.

290
  1. Abu Musab al-Zarqawi
  2. Abdul Aziz al-Hakim
  3. Lou Rawls
  4. Dana Reeve
  5. Saddam Hussein
  6. Ibrahim Rugova
  7. Wendy Wasserstein
  8. Saddam Hussein
  9. Ali Hassan al-Majid
  10. Courtney Love
  11. Susan Butcher
  12. AlfredO DiStefano
  13. Kurt Vonnegut
291

Alternate: Michael J. Fox

292

My picks, in no particular order are:

  1. Kenny Rogers
  2. Mario Lemieux
  3. Courtney Love
  4. Steve-O
  5. Ted Dibiase (wrestler)
  6. Eminem
  7. Keith Richards
  8. Richard Branson
  9. Mike Tyson
  10. Ron Jeremy
  11. Cher
  12. Kate Moss
  13. Dick Clark
293
  1. Pope Benedict XVI
  2. Dick Cheney
  3. Fidel Castro
  4. Ariel Sharon
  5. Gerald Ford
  6. 50 Cent
  7. Dick Clark
  8. Queen Elizabeth II
  9. Muammar al-Qaddafi
  10. Muhammad Ali
  11. Michael Jackson
  12. Billy Graham
  13. Margaret Thatcher
294

Under the wire:

Bob Newhart
Red Buttons
Danny DeVito
Khalil al-Dulaimi (Saddam’s lawyer)
Liza Minnelli
Teddy Bruschi
Smokey Robinson
Lena Horne
Tippy Hedren
Betsy Johnson (fashion designer)
Johnny Pesky (former Red Sox baseball player)
Lee Iacocca
Warren Buffett

295

I would not want to issue a new policy for life insurance to any of these people, therefore, they made my list for the Celebrity Death Pool 2006.

  1. Vaclav Havel (former Czech prez, heavy smoker, and cancer sufferer; somehow he is still among the living)
    2 Roy “Chappy” Chapman (elderly owner of Smarty Jones; Chapman is constantly attached to an oxygen tank and has appeared to be near death since Smarty’s derby victory)
    3 Jack Snow (former NFL player / father of MLB player J. T. Snow; he’s in critical condition)
    4 Norodom Sihanouk (former Cambodian leader who stepped down as a result of health issues)
    5 Andreas Katsulas (actor with inoperable cancer)
    6 Joseph Breen (former soap opera actor; he has AIDS)
    7 Natasha Lyonne (actress; allegedly hospitalized with serious illnesses in 2005)
    8 W. Mark Felt (“Deep Throat” looks like he will be 6 feet deep pretty soon)
    9 Cecil Underwood (twice former governor of West Virginia [1957-1961] and [1997-2001] and the first ever guest on To Tell The Truth; he has had heart problems)
    10 F. Lee Bailey (defense attorney; I cannot defend my decision to pick him as well as he defended his clients; he just looks unhealthy to me, and he is no stranger to drinking and smoking)

I’m jumping on the bandwagon for these picks:
11 Lou Rawls
12 Don Ho
13 Ronnie Biggs

Alternates:
1 Rick Majerus (very obese former basketball coach at University of Utah)
2 David Crosby (that 2nd liver won’t last forever)

Those who missed the cut:
Ron Santo – He was supposedly near death when I picked him 2 years ago, but he let me down and I no longer trust him to be worthy of the Death Pool. However, he may die in 2006 out of spite.

Tammy Fay Bakker Messner – yes, she has cancer again but I’m thinking she will hang on for another year.

Ariel Sharon – He had a minor stroke recently, but seems to be recovering

Abe Vigoda – He’s seemingly healthy for his age

I haven’t participated in the Death Pool since 2004 and have not scored any points since Warren Zevon took a dirt nap in ‘03. I don’t know if I will score any points this year, but I made sure to only pick people who are unhealthy.

296

Aah…scratch that. OK here it is:

  1. Abu Musab al-Zarqawi
  2. Susan Butcher
  3. Lou Rawls
  4. Dana Reeve
  5. Brad McGann NZ Director
  6. Ibrahim Rugova
  7. Wendy Wasserstein
  8. Alfred DiStefano
  9. Ali Hassan al-Majid
  10. Alfred DiStefano
  11. Abdul Aziz al-Hakim
  12. Mary Travers
  13. Kurt Vonnegut (I will cry if I’m right though)
    Alternates:
  14. Michael J. Fox
  15. Courtney Love
297

Aarrgh…I don’t know what I’m doing here, OK, here it is (sorry):

  1. Abu Musab al-Zarqawi
  2. Susan Butcher
  3. Lou Rawls
  4. Dana Reeve
  5. Brad McGann NZ Director
  6. Ibrahim Rugova
  7. Wendy Wasserstein
  8. Michael J. Fox
  9. Ali Hassan al-Majid
  10. Alfredo DiStefano
  11. Abdul Aziz al-Hakim
  12. Mary Travers
  13. Kurt Vonnegut
    Alternate:
  14. Courtney Love
298

5 minutes to go (EST) and I almost forgot about this thread! I hope I’m not too late! I highly doubt that I will score high this year, but it’s fun to play.

  1. Don Ho
  2. Dick Clark
  3. Lou Rawls
  4. Elizabeth Taylor
  5. Tammy Faye Bakker (whatever she’s called these days)
  6. Fidel Castro (although I doubt it)
  7. Don Knotts
  8. Queen Elizabeth
  9. Angela Lansbury
  10. BB King
  11. Bruce Parry (from the TV show “Gone Tribal”)
  12. Dana Reeve

Happy New YEar!

299

As promised, I posted a Top 10 list of having a ZERO score for 2005.
http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=6950650#post6950650

300

8 Minues to lockdown—Start the Jump clock!