I can’t get past the oozing cheeze in Demi Lovato’s Skyscraper.
It is tough to get cheesier than Bobby Goldsboro’s Honey. I mean, can there ever be a worse rhyme than “what the heck” with “hugged my neck”?
But, I will throw in the Ballad of Bilbo Baggins, by none other than Leonard Nimoy, just for the fun of it.
I kinda like this one, still, especially the cover by Fear Cult.
But then, I still kinda like Brandy, too…
Clarence Carter’s Patches. I hear there is another Patches by some blond or other but no one-- no one can out cheese this tale of a boy who had to walk to school uphill both ways on the stubs at the end of his legs; whose father died 2 years before he was born and his mom a year after his dad.
Patches is so bad, it knocked out Run, Joey, Run as the most cheese-filled hokum on my i-Pod. Why yes, I own almost every song on this list.
I can’t check any of the unnamed links from work, but it doesn’t look like Achy Breaky Heart has been mentioned. Sure, pop country is pretty well known for having cheesy lyrics, but that song is over the top even for country. And, of course, and it’s only made worse by just how bad it is and how popular it was. Ugh…
“Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds” by none other than Captain Kirk, i.e., William Shatner. Followed by his versions of “Rocket Man” and “Taxi,” all available on YouTube.
I like quite a few of the songs that have been mentioned, cheesy or not.
Neandrathal Man by Hotlegs — the video doesn’t help
Indian Lake - Cowsills
Simon Says - 1910 Fruitgum Company
Actually a ton of what I loved back in the late 60s/early 70s pretty much sucked - but I was really really stoned for most of it.
You maniac! You did it! You listened to this song. God DAMN YOU! GOD DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!
Red Rubber Ball by Cyrcle is a guilty pleasure of mine.
Unnecessary nitpicks - it was The Cyrkle that recorded it (the song was co-written by Paul Simon), and it’s a fine pop song. I have the Diodes version.
I love the description of the song on Wikipedia, which must be the most overintellectualized characterization of a pop tune ever:
“The song is sung from the perspective of a man who has recently exited an unfulfilling relationship in which his significant other never gave him much attention or affection. He now looks forward to the future with a positive attitude.”
"And she ran calling Wiild-Fiiire…"
Although *Patches *and *Honey *are close behind.
What about those awful car-wreck songs from the '50s … Tell Laura I Love Her, Last Kiss? Seems like there were more. So craptastically maudlin!
If you play this link and scroll down just a scooch, there is a version of Kurt Cobain playing “Seasons in the Sun”. I kid you not.
I forgot about “One Tin Soldier - The Legend of Billy Jack”
Oh, God, I had forgotten “Feelings.”
I’m shocked no one has offered up anything by The Carpenters. :eek:
Again, “cheesy” isn’t a synonym for “excruciatingly horrible, to the point of wanting to rip your eardrums out.” 
Well, the original version of “Last Kiss” is not very maudlin at all. I’ve always thought its rather bouncy pace was quite interesting, given that it’s about being left behind while your first love dies.
“Giddy-Up Go, Daddy” by Red Sovine.
Where do I collect my prize?
Even better - You’re Pitiful by Weird Al Yankovic.