Seasons in the Sun has worn out it’s crown. If I hear it come on the oldies station I no longer run screaming and tearing my hair out to change the station. I may even sing a little of it.
Now we need a new king of smaltz. It can’t just have insipid music, it also has to have insipid words. My two nominations:
Don’t Cry Daddy by Elvis Presley.
Patches by Clarence Carter.
Go ahead, try to beat those.
With the holiday season (almost) upon us, I submit Christmas Shoes as a paradigm of schmaltzy drek.
Yooooooooouuuuuuuuu Light up my Liiiiiiiiiiiiiifffffe
Air Supply, Lost in Love.
Honey "See the three, how big it’s grown. … "
or
Never Been to Me
I could probably look up who sang them (or even if I got the titles right), but it has been mercifully erased from my memory and I don’t want to endanger that small bit of solace.
“Total Eclipse of the [del]Brain[/del] Heart”
I would truly feel sorry for any poor sap who dated such a woman, and wouldn’t blame him a bit for dumping her.
That “Dear Mr. Jesus” song from a while back has to be a contender.
I’m not going to provide a YouTube link to the video, it’s awful. AWFUL.
From the Seasons in the Sun Era, how about Run, Joey Run:
Pukie!
“Puppy Love” by Donny Osmond.
End of Story. Kids these days…<mutter> :rolleyes:
Maybe it’s not number 1, but it’s a contender, just likey “Honey”, or “Watching Scotty grow”. It’s called Sometimes When We Touch, by Dan Hill
It gets a lot worse : Romantic Song Lyrics - Famous Love Songs & Romance Ideas
And the music? <<shudder>>
[sub]I kinda liked “Patches”[/sub]
Some song about a little kid who talked to truckers on the CB - I can’t think of the name of it
Is it “Teddy” by Red Sovine?
What was that horrid one…“Butterfly Kisses” or something? I have a little girl myself and that song makes me gag.
“Butterfly Kisses.” BLECH
There was actually a sequel to that song, by another singer, about the little boy’s death. “Teddy Bear’s Last Ride”. That would be my nominee for this “honour”.
Patches is a good choice.
Please don’t go topless, mother (link to mp3 in the article)
and more seriously: Memory.
Holy Shit…beaten by the second post. WINNER!
George Jones’s He Stopped Loving Her Today
Billy, Don’t Be A Hero - Bo Donaldson and The Heywoods
Q