It is the…“Twilight” of pop music. It is a love ballad, sung by a man—and, to my surprise, according to the lyrics, it’s explicitly directed towards a human woman. If ya catch my drift.
For diabetic readers I warn that following is a portion of the lyrics of Good Morning Starshine.
Behold:
Good morning starshine
The earth says hello
You twinkle above us
We twinkle below
Good morning starshine
You lead us along
My love and me as we sing
Our early morning singing song
Gliddy glub gloopy
Nibby nabby noopy
La la la lo lo
Sabba sibby sabba
Nooby abba nabba
Le le lo lo
Tooby ooby walla
Nooby abba naba
Early morning singing song
No, it’s not a rickroll. It’s a performance by a very popular feelgood acapella group (I think that’s what such music is called) from Buffalo in the 1980s. They specialized in schmaltz, ad the were everywhere in the Buffalo of the 1980s.
1980s hair? Check.
Handicapped and retarded children? Check.
Sappy Christmas song? Check.
Earmworm? Check.
Schmaltz? Oy vey is mir, check.
I came in here to post this one. When it came out, the Christian radio station I listened to back then (:smack:) played this song about once every 30 minutes.
For all the people voting for “Wind Beneath My Wings,” I heard a hilarious parody on The John Boy & Billy Show some years back.
I won’t torture you with the actual song on YouTube (you could probably find it on your own if you really want to; I advise against it), but will just post the lyrics:
It smelled pretty rank there in your shadow,
when you let one rip right in my face,
you were content to let me find out, the hard way,
one step behind your big ol’ fat behind.
But you never said “Hey, pull my finger!”
And what in the hell did you have to eat?
You’d knock the feathers off an eagle,
'cause you are the wind beneath my sheets.
*Feelings, nothing more than feelings,
trying to forget my feelings of love.
Teardrops rolling down on my face,
trying to forget my feelings of love.
Feelings, for all my life I'll feel it.
I wish I've never met you, girl; you'll never come again.
Feelings, wo-o-o feelings,
wo-o-o, feel you again in my arms.
I was just about to post that as the most schmaltzy song of all time. Is anyone old enough to remember The Gong Show and that set of shows where every single contestant sang that song? It was hilarious in a painful kind of way.
“The Straight Life”, also by Bobby Goldsboro, is worse. The lyrics imply that the narrator is fantasizing about running away with a man, although women are still invited to go down on him:
Alternatively, you’ve got “Seasons in the Sun” by Terry Jacks. This song is so awful that even I can’t listen to it, and I’ve read all of the Left Behind series. It’s based on a French song that is even more morbid, if you can imagine. The lyrics are here, but cinch up your gorge before you click. It ain’t pretty.
