Glurgiest songs

While I was reading the thread about the “most Seventies-est song” it occurred to me that a lot of the the most obvious contenders are full of glurge.

Songs like “Billy, Don’t Be A Hero” and “Wildfire” are loaded with glurge. So, what are the glurgiest songs of all time?

I’ll start off with:

“Christmas Shoes” by NewSong.
“We Love You, Call Collect” by Art Linkletter
And even “Desiderata”, the Les Crane version.
More recently, I’ll add “Everybody’s Free (To Wear Sunscreen)” by Baz Luhrmann and “Jesus, Take The Wheel” by Carrie Underwood.

There’s more! Add them, without throwing up if you can.

“Honey” by Bobby Goldsboro
What do I win? :wink:

I don’t think there can be a glurgier song than Red Sovine’s Teddy Bear.

It must have been specifically engineered to evoke the maximum glurge response.

Butterfly Kisses

Christmas Shoes

I nominate Nobody’s Child, words be here , but really, you do not want to read them. O No! :eek:

You win nothing,your choice, out of the first 5 responses, is fifth.

That’s exactly what I was going to post. I still consider it the worst song ever.

Beyond any doubt, Sleazin’ in the Slums by Terry Jacks. Doesn’t he just?

I still vote for Teddy Bear. It has a crippled little boy, a dead father (who died trying to get home to his family), a mother who’s just scraping by, salt-of-the-earth truck drivers, CB radios, hopes fulfilled, and a thank-you.

sniff :frowning:

Moments by Emerson Drive. Everything bad about modern country music in one convenient package.
And for a song that’s glurgely in a really creepy way, Once You Understand by a studio group named Think. Amazingly enough, it was a top 20 hit in 1972.

I guess I’ll go to hell if I nominate One Tin Soldier by anyone who’s ever covered it.

Yah, yah, yah, war is bad, peace is good. I still find this song super glurge-shlock. I kind of makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up.

Michael Jackson’s Man in the Mirror.

The Little Girl by John Michael Montgomery
God’s Will by Martina McBride (actually, a number of songs by Martina McBride are honorable mentions for this one.

Modern country has some issues.

“In The Year 2525” by Zager and Evans is pretty glurgly, innit?

Wind Beneath My Wings, especially as sung by Bette Midler.

“Don’t Take the Girl” by Tim McGraw. (And to make matters worse, it’s insanely catchy!)

Having my baby. Not quite as glurgy as Butterfly wings, but bad enough that I can’t hear either all the way through.

Spoilered in case you are diabetic.

Good Morning Starshine

Even the title is moronic, there is no starshine in the morning.

First verse:

[spoiler]Good morning starshine
The earth says hello
You twinkle above us
We twinkle below

Good morning starshine
You lead us along
My love and me as we sing
Our early morning singing song[/spoiler]

and if you want to taste a little vomit in your mouth, the chorus:

Gliddy gloop gloopy
Nibby nobby nooby
La la la lo lo
Sabba sibby sabba
Nooby abba dabba
Le le lo lo
dooby ooby walla
dooby abba dabba
Early morning singing song

don’t ask: wow, yes, that was oh so horrid… I had to actually think back to that chorus moment shudders