Glurgiest songs

Probably the Trial of Billy Jack version of “Give Peace a Chance.” It had somewhat truncated lyrics.

As in, it was simply “give peace a chance/give peace a chance/all we are saying is give peace a chance.” Over and over. And over and over and over again.

The Winkie Guards had a better choir leader.

Although this is a horrible song, I don’t know if it’s quite “Glurge”. I think of glurgy songs as those that tell a story that is similar to an urban legend - like “Wildfire”, “Christmas Shoes”, or “Jesus, Take The Wheel”.

GMS strikes me more as a song with (literally) nonsense lyrics, more like “Don’t Worry, Be Happy”.

Well, to be fair, there’s that little star we call the sun.

Wow, I’ve never heard that song in its entirety. I’ve been humming the first few lines lately wondering how the rest of it goes. I had no idea it was so bizarre.

I would definitely nominate ‘‘Don’t Take the Girl’’ by Tim McGraw. Country music really does have its share of glurgy songs.

I would probably like a lot of the songs identified here, though. I’m mushy like that.

Patches - Clarence Carter

God I hate that song.

Indeed. Along with your suggestions, I’ll offer the Dixie Chicks’ “Travelin’ Soldier.”

I have that on a ‘classic rock’ collection on my iPod. I’ve never made it through the whole thing without hitting the ‘next’ button.

Have you considered the ‘delete’ button?

IIRC, it’s supposed to be a lyrical/musical description of an acid trip. The musical Hair is a wonderful argument against drugs.

I did indeed throw up a little bit. Shit the bed, that’s horrendous. Generally I like Hair but I think my brain must have erased all memory of that piece of dreck. (Though I agree it’s not glurge like Scarlet Ribbons and the like.)

“Cat’s in the Cradle” by Harry Chapin. Makes me want to vomit.

“The Gambler” by Kenny Rogers - yeah, go on and romanticize your useless substance abusing and compulsive gambling life. I’m not impressed.

“A Boy Named Sue” by Johnny Cash - Spare me the tale of your white trash lives.

“Take Me Home, Country Roads” by John Denver - Can you love your home more generically?

Shannon- Henry Gross

I hate this one, another contemporary country song: Temporary Home by Carrie Underwood. The sentiment itself isn’t all that horrible, if you don’t mind a bit of glurge, that is – but I hate the way the lyrics are just so poorly thought out. “Little boy, 6 years old” and “Old man, hospital bed.” I mean come on. If you’re going to tell a story, tell it.

Raise your choice with Save a Butterfly for Bucky

Can’t believe no ones so far mentioned

Deck of Cards

You may as well close the thread. Nothing can beat this.

Debbie Boone’s “You Light Up My Life”.

That along with “You’re Having My Baby”…eeeeech :shudder:

vomits

I’ll see your vomit and raise you explosive diarrhea with The Men in My Little Girl’s Life, originally recorded by Tex Ritter, later covered by Mike Douglas.

Blind Man in the Bleachers, here by Kenny Rogers.

Err… That wouldn’t be Clarence Carter of “I Be Strokin’” fame, I presume…

As for glurgy songs, Dear Mr. Jesus is pretty bad.

ETA: I demand that The Gambler is removed from this thread. It is not glurge. It is awesome.

There’s a Jewish version of that, Deaf Man in the Shteibel, that’s got an even stupider story line than the original. I’m not sure what the songwriter was thinking, but…

-The guy’s dad died, and no one in the shul knew about it? So, what, the cantor buried him alone by himself? Or is Dead Dad still lying on the bed at home? Ugh.

-They were probably trying to make the story more Jew-friendly by making it about Yom Kippur, but I’m pretty sure Jewish law says that a mourner cannot lead the High Holiday services. A mourner whose relative isn’t buried yet (see speculation above) isn’t even allowed to make blessings or pray by himself, let alone for a whole congregation.

And the worst part is, the tune’s very pretty. You want to sing along, but then you hear the lyrics…