Robert Preston’s “Chicken Fat” if we’re going for a literal interpretation of the thread title. 
I assume you mean Merrilee Rush.
Another Auld Lang Syne
So much Schmaltz, so little time.
That old wedding reception classic, “Daddy’s Little Girl”.
The Living Years
Seasons in the Sun (it killed a part of my soul to type that, I hope you’re happy)
The Blind Man in the Bleachers
Billy Don’t Be a Hero
The Night Chicago Died
can’t type more… mind weakening…
The song “Last Kiss”, most recently covered by Pearl Jam. A teenage couple goes out for a drive, they get in a wreck, and the guy wakes up just in time to hold and kiss his girlfriend before she dies. So he sings about how he has to be good so that he can see “my love, my life” after he dies someday.
Belgian, actually. Here’s a youtubelink of the original by Jacques Brel, including English subs.
My contribution: Dreamweaver by Gary Wright or All By Myself by Eric Carmen.
There’s a Celine Dion song (I think) that has the absolutely odious message of “I’m everything I am because you love me.”
Funny you should mention that, because that’s the FIRST thing I thought of when I saw the lyrics posted!
It was painful, in a hilarious kind of way! ;)
Years ago, I read in a Philip K. Dick book that his character (can’t remember what book or character) who works in a music store mentions that if one more person asks him for the Bluebird of Happiness, he’s going to do something drastic. I can’t remember what, but I remember being curious enough to find the cd that was remastered from the original.
It was all that, and worse.
Then I met a man who had fond memories of his grandmother who loved the song. I gave him the cd, but then I married him. Karma sucks.
(verse)
The beggar man and his mighty king are only
diff’rent in name,
For they are treated just the same by fate.
Today a smile and tomorrow tears,
We’re never sure what’s in store,
So learn your lesson before too late, so
(refrain)
Be like I, hold your head up high,
Till you find a bluebird of happiness.
You will find greater peace of mind
Knowing there’s a bluebird of happiness.
And when he sings to you,
Though you’re deep in blue,
You will see a ray of light creep through,
And so remember this, life is no abyss,
Somewhere there’s a bluebird of happiness.
Life is sweet, tender and complete
When you find the bluebird of happiness.
You will find perfect peace of mind
When you find the bluebird of happiness.
Two hearts that beat as one,
'Neath a new found sun,
We are in a world that’s just begun,
And you must sing his song, as you go along,
When you find the bluebird of happiness.
God, I can hear it in my head even now.
Something Stupid - Frank Sinatra
“French” meaning “French language”. I know Brel was from Belgium.
In fact, I think I just earned the Award for the Most Gratuitous Use of the Word Belgium. I think I need to eat a waffle or a Brussels sprout or something to purify it.
Robin
See post #18.
I’d also like to add any song by the Captain and Tennille and pretty much all of Barry Manilow, but those two are too easy.
Robin
No
When someone else writes it, I don’t see it.
My Way is pretty damn schmaltzy if anyone but Frank sings it.
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you…
Dickie Lee
How could any list of schmaltz not include things like Rocky, Strange Things Happen, and Tell Laura I Love Her?
I’m trying to remember if he also did Blind Man in the Bleechers.
“Butterfly Kisses” by Bob Carlisle is the sappiest, hokiest, vomit-inducingest song ever written. Add in the Jesus references, and it makes it the worst song ever recorded.
“Town Without Pity” by whoever-the-hell-they-were.
When you’re YOUNG and so in LOVE as weeeeee…
And beWILdered by the world we seeeee…
How can we keep love alive
How can anything survive
When these little minds tear you in two…
Sung by a very distraught man who, if he was on stage, would be holding his microphone in both hands and bending over it in emotional agony while he sang.
It’s kind of fun to sing it drunk at a kareoke bar, though.
Then you’ll have to add the entire Neil Sedaka catalog as well.
Also, Olivia Newton-John “Please, Mister, Please (Don’t Play B-17)”
… huuurrkkk …