I’ve temporarily moved into the office because Kidcat II demands to be fed every 90 minutes through the night. Well…during a 90 minute break from feeding duties the wife and I had one of those “Wanna wanna wanna fuck?” moments and we secretly, quietly and sneakily absconded with the closet box of, erm, wife’s-best-friends (if you think that is diamonds, you are either single or sexually repressed). Joy was had by all, clean-up was done, and one best friend, being of the rounded variety, rolled under the temporary bed.
The very bed that the cleaning lady was determined to make sure had no dust-bunnies under it today.
Our dear best friend is now sitting on the window sill, on top of a small packet of Kleenex, next to a spare battery, all lined up neatly.
There is a small chance that our 60-yr-old cleaning lady, who grew up under communism and work hard, play harder mentality, might not know exactly what she was cleaning and tidying up.
Oh, this reminds me of a disgusting story from my university days.
Spoilered for the sensitive:[spoiler]Mad Andy says to me one day, after moving into his new apartment: “Jim, you’ll never guess. This morning I was checking the electricity meter cupboard, and on top of the meter I found a dildo covered in shit. Dried on shit all over it.”
“Eeugh. What did you do with it? Threw it away I hope.”
“No way man: I washed it off in the sink and used it on the missus.”[/spoiler] :eek:
Do you honestly think that that was the first vibrator that she’s seen? She’s a cleaning lady. She’s seen way more shocking things than that. Get back to us when she finds your bestiality porn.
An old GF of mine decided to give up the pill and use a diaphram instead. Apparently you need a prescription to get one. When she picked it up, she noticed she had a prescription for someone with the same last name and first initial, but a man’s name. (Andrew vs Andrea). It was a prescription for heart medication. One can only imagine some old guy unwrapping a pink rubber thing and either wondering how the hell he was supposed to take it, or being so shocked he’d really need some heart medication.
When I moved back home for that month or so after college but before my own place, I got into a “dicking war” with my buddies. Basically, you would take a ‘floppy back door plug’, wet the base of it like you would a Suction Cup Garfield, and affix it to the hood of the victim’s car, truck, or van thus creating a new and attractive hood orniment. Much better than that Pontiac V anyday.
Well my pickup truck got “dicked” and I took it inside and set it on my desk in my room. Days later, my mother had cleaned up my room a bit because she needed some laundry to finish a load in the machine. She took the “dicking device” and wrapped it up gently with a hankerchief, and put it in my sock drawer.
This reminds me of the “Sex in the City” episode that Miranda’s cleaning lady finds her toy in her bedside table’s drawer, and confronted her…pretty funny stuff. The situation was exacerbated by the fact that she was working alot of hours at work, and therefore feeling guilty about spending less time w/ her toddler, which said cleaning lady was also bringing on w/ funny looks, etc…think her name was Magda?
I might have doubted it too, until spending the summer of 1995 in a university dorm in Novosibirsk, Russia. I used to sit and watch TV at night now and again in the lobby with the (then 60-something) dorm attendant lady, and as the summer went on, she got chattier and chattier. It finally became TMI when she told me about the time some friends in the 60s got hold of a contraband copy of the Kama Sutra, and how she and her late husband had had a blast trying out all the positions. :eek:
Cleaning ladies are people, too, and they were young once. Where do you think new cleaning ladies come from?
She may have no idea…but I doubt it. I bet she’ll be laughing about it with family and friends soon. No biggy.
