The Clone Wars-- will it be as bad as it looks?

Well, if Lucas has an infantile understanding of good adventure movies and a patronizing attitude toward their audiences . . . imagine what he must think of cartoons.

I have to wonder exactly what demographic they were shooting for here.

The 7-10 year old male crowd who is just discovering Star Wars for the first time?
Who else is this exactly supposed to appeal to?

It may have gotten shown on the Cartoon Network or the Sci-Fi Channel but that’s only because of the Star Wars name attached to it.

Are they really expecting anyone to go and pay to see this?

Thank you for saving me $7.

I’ll consider spreading the word about Truman Cap’Hutt to be my good deed for the day.

Seriously. What the hell was he thinking?

Nah, this won’t be as bad as it looks. Nothing could possibly actually be as bad as this looks.

I think it looks awesome, which of course means it sucks completely, being a Star Wars movie after 1983(yes, I like Jedi).

I had the opportunity to go to a free screening last week but didn’t go. A friend who did go said it wasn’t worth the price (it was free, see previous sentence). This guy is a geek (and proud of it) and a SW fanboy who was really looking forward to it. He said it was childish and no one over twelve will enjoy it. I trust his opinion on the subject.

This is the Ewok movie of the prequels.

Or is it the Christmas Special of the prequels?

This has a baby Hutt that burps, upchucks, and makes doo-doo for whacky comedy relief that outdoes Jar-Jar. You can’t get worse than slug diaper jokes.

RT is down to 23% (ouch) while Metacritic is hovering at 40.

I didn’t want to say anything until the film was officially out, but I saw it a while ago (for free), and although my expectations were not high, I was still hoping that it would be interesting or provide something unexpected.

Interesting? No. I think its character designs are (w/two exceptions) garish and ugly, and the movement of the characters is distractingly awkward. There are visual motifs in the action sequences that are tediously repeated over and over again, and there’s no suspense or conflict or character development of any kind. The plot is inconsequential, the dialogue is abysmal, and humor is (quite unintentionally) nowhere to be found.

Unexpected? Largely, no. Most of the film is predictable in its mining of the same tone and dynamics that made the prequels (for me) a royal bust. But I was surprised by the rather nonchalant way that the film racks up an enormous body count, especially among the clone troopers who seem to be considered nothing but expendable cannon fodder. I was also surprised that the film seemed aimed at 10-year olds. Sure, the previous films pandered to that demographic before, but never quite so exclusively. There’s nothing of any substance that a post-adolescent can sink their teeth into.

But obviously, the most unexpected thing is the character of Ziro (aka The Gay Hutt). He doesn’t show up until fairly late into the film, but his very existence truly defies belief. I have to assume I would’ve been more offended, except that I honestly couldn’t believe what I was seeing. Imagine the broadest, crudest, campiest drag performance from a Tennessee Williams play, and then transplant it into the SW universe. For a while, I thought the character was supposed to be a play on some kind of red light underworld madam–but then I realized that this was a dude. Truly unbelievable, he makes Jar Jar look like Cary Grant. That anyone thought this was a good idea, let along one that wasn’t a minefield of potential controversy, is quite staggering.

So not a good movie by any non-infantile standard. I am quite frankly surprised that they chose to release this as a feature film. If they had started the animated series like this, people might’ve given it a chance since the public is generally more forgiving of TV shows, letting them find their feet for a while before making a final verdict on the show. Also, I’m not familiar with TV animation, so maybe the quality by TV/CG standards is OK. But compared to WALL-E or Kung Fu Panda (or anything by Pixar or Dreamworks, frankly), it is an embarrassment. It is really a shame. :frowning:

So, in the interest of satisfying benign curiosity, if anyone wants to ask any questions about the film, fire away. My modest public service.

Totally random tinfoil-hat WAG: Lucas wants to kill Star Wars. He’s tired of it, but as long as the franchise is a license to print money he can’t drop it. So in his capacity as Emperor, he starts making some horrid decisions. Jar Jar was the first, but when he didn’t fail to kill the prequels, Lucas had to ramp up the WTF factor.

Watch for a re-re-release of the original trilogy in the next five years, in which Owen and Beryl Lars are given a Whedonesque CGI fight scene with the stormtroopers who find their home, Yoda becomes a Gungan, and Vader doesn’t die at the end of ROTJ and is shown partying with the Rebels and Ewoks.

If the Holiday Special didn’t kill the franchise, nothing Lucas can do at this point will. This movie is bad, and will probably tank, but it doesn’t really come close to the kind of bad that the Holiday Special exemplified. Star Wars films have tanked before (not big-screen releases, but stuff like the Ewok movies) and the franchise is still alive. Limping a bit, but alive.

That would certainly explain why Traviss keeps getting work.

Actually there will be a re-re-release. Lucas is currently having all of them redone in 3-D. I’m not kidding.

I think Lucas is a control freak and can’t handle criticism of his work. Therefore he throws in intentional crap so when people do blast him for it he can tell himself “yeah, I know it’s crap. I intentionally made it crap.”

This will be the first Star Wars movie I don’t bother to see. Some of the lines they chose to include in the commercials (ostensibly to make me want to see the movie) were as bad as the worst dialogue of the prequel trilogy. That tells me all I need to know.

:smack:

This is me too - I was never really a Star Wars fan but I grew up with it and watched the prequels and moderately enjoyed them (apart from Ep III - vomit). But this just looks like execrable shit, and I have no interest in validating it with my money.

Link to a hilarious (short) review:
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wpdyn/content/article/2008/08/14/AR2008081401083.html

I’m sure there will be other funny ones. Reviewers’ field day.

Looks like they pulled that review. I’m getting a “page not available”.