The Cobbler's Children Now Have Shoes

Not my real kids. They have plenty of shoes. A Primary Pair and a Back Up Pair. Soupo even has some rubber boots for those “rubber boot” moments. My progeny are well-shod.

Yes, they are both progeny. Child progenies. I was a child progeny myself, and I passed that trait on to them. You may have been a child progeny yourself. I bet you were.

The whole “having shoes” thing is just a literary allusion. I finally washed my dogs. My real dogs, not my feet. Although I did wash my feet this morning. It’s just something I do out of common courtesy. But you see how it wasn’t my children, but my dogs? And it wasn’t about shoes, but a bath? And no real cobbler was used, it was just me? I hope we’re all up to speed now.

Since we’re going on our Big Trip, the dogs are staying with other people. We can’t let other people see how we let our dogs live. They could call PETA on us, or something. Wouldn’t want that to happen.

The Little Woman’s dog was a task. Had to strip out the undercoat, wash her down, dry her up and a nice trim. Plus trim her toenails. All in all, a semi-big deal.

My dog was much simpler. A quick bath, then dry her. That’s it. A very low-upkeep dog.

Man! There was hair all over the place. Gotta use the Shop Vac®. It’s one of the big ones. Not the hugest one, but still pretty big. 16 gallons and 6 horsepower. I’m not sure how hard 6 horses can suck, but this baby does a bang up job. Not that it explodes, it’s just an expression.

It’s one of the blue “Contractor Series” ones. I don’t know what “Contractor Series” means. Probably “you have a blue one”.

And boy does it suck. It’s powerful enough to suck a groundhog through a chain link fence. Not that I would, of course. But I could. That’s the point. I could. I’d need the groundhog sucking attachment, which would probably work on a wide range of burrowing rodents, of course. That costs extra. It seems there’s not a big demand for sucking groundhogs. Especially through a chain link fence.

Like Spaceball I it converts from “suck” to “blow”. Very handy, that. It doesn’t transform into a giant Space Maid. I guess you can’t have everything.

When I was done sucking, I had to empty the can. It wasn’t the first time I used it, so I thought I should check it. (I don’t know how much 16 gallons of dirt is. Do you?) It wasn’t full, but the filter was all gunky. I had to clean it to get the most suck for the buck. I could have just gotten a new filter, but this one was still good. It was just covered in dust.

You know the best way to clean a Shop Vac® fliter? With a Shop Vac®, of course. Only you can’t run your Shop Vac® to clean the filter without a clean filter to run your Shop Vac® with. A conundrum. I wound up using a little hand held vacuum. It wasn’t as good as my Shop Vac®, but it did the job.

It looks like I need two Shop Vac®s.
Extra added bonus observation at no extra charge to you!

While I was in the grocery store this weekend (Maybe I was shopping, maybe I was just peckish and hit all the “free sample” tables. I ain’t telling.) I saw “Country Style Scrapple”. This implies there’s a “City Style Scrapple”. Like there’s a more refined and upscale version of boiled pig head for a more discriminating taste. Like “Kool-Aide Extra Dry”.

Whilst I was there, I picked up a bag of frozen hash browns. I did more than just pick them up, I went as far as buy them. Right on the front of the bag they assured me it was “non-GMO”. “Oh, that’s good,” I thought. “Don’t want those pesky GMO’s in my hash browns. They could stink up the whole freezer.”

“What the Hell is a GMO?”

It’s a “Genetically Modified Organism”, and there are none in my hash browns. It says so right on the bag. Right next to the “Spokes Spud” for this particular brand of hash browns. A happy, waving potato with full cowboy dress. (That’s gloves, cowboy boots, blue jeans and a little hat. He’s not a cowboy potato in a dress.) He even has a little mustache. But he’s a non-Genetically Modified Organism. Just your run of the mill hyper-intelligent (for a potato) mutant spud.

I guess that’s what they’re saying.

Now I’m done.
-Rue. (still)

Thanks for sharing, Rue. You’re rapidly becoming my favorite poster due to your off the wall observations. Apparently this is a regular thing with you.

Speaking of your non-GMO potatoes, don’t you find it weird that they’re trying to fob off an anthropomorphized potato-like being as not genetically modified? Like that potato was born that way? Man. What were the boys in Marketing thinking that day?

I’ve always wondered, what kind of dogs do you have? I have an image of a Jack Russel Terrier, but I’m not sure.

Hello and good morning Rue (For you anyway, for me it’s 5 minuets in to the afternoon)

What a large one you’ve got (post that is, of course). But you failed to answer the Question ‘Do the cobbler’s children have new shoes?’ Your title indicates that they do, but I fail to see any evidence, cite? :wink:

Your Shop Vac, does it do wet cleaning as well as dry? 16 Gallons is a whole lot of Hair what kind of dogs are they?

In your post you say both progeny do you have just two mini-DeDays then?

Ok, I’ve now run out of things to say, not that I had much in the first place but your post was looking a little lonely…

Your friend and mine


It’s too early - I think I missed something. You cobbled some shoes for your dogs? Out of potatoes? Ya know, Rue, I luvs ya to death, and I say this from the depths of my heart: Get professional help, dear. Many decaffeinated brands taste as good as the real thing!

[sub]You crack me up!

Ah-ha! I see in the time it tool me to compose my mundane and pointless post and spell check two other people have posted, making your post seem not so lonely after all, oh well.
My friend and yours


Snickers, it would be rediculous to make shoes out of potatoes. Especially for dogs. Their shoes are made out of drier lint and duct tape. Functional and sylish as all get out.

Gartog, what kind of fool do you take me for? Of course it has wet pick up. If it didn’t the groundhog attachment wouldn’t do me much good, now would it? I mean really.

And here’s just a little tip from me to you: At the bottom of my post (all posts really, but I don’t want to loose you) there’s a little “profile” button. Press it. OK, now, with your mouse make your little cursor cover the little picture next to the work “profile” and push the button on your mouse. Ta-da!!! (Check under “Supporting Cast”)

I hope this helps.

Soda, yup I have a Jack Russell Terrier. That would be Lucy.

The Little Woman has a Sheltie. Nicki (short for Copernicus) is less good, but larger. Not a lot larger, but Lucy is only 11 pounds, so it’s all relative.

(How’s Sigg the Wonder Pup doing? Keeping the TP rolls subdued?)

Hi Dave (unless DAVEW is an acronym, then “Hi Dave” anyway).

“off the wall”

I think I need new tape. Or that sticky blue putty stuff that’s not supposed to leave marks on your wall. (And don’t tell anyone but you’re one of my top 1,000 favorite posters too. If word gets out, people could get jealous. So let’s keep it between us, OK?)

Good morning, Rue. We missed you terribly at OhDope.

GMO. That’s “Gross Me Out.”

Your hash browns are of the non-disgusting variety. Congratulations.

You made the right choice.


Now I feel all guilty. Really. If your were feeling me now, you’d say “Yup. Guilty.”

Maybe, just maybe, I’ll be able to make it up to you. I won’t say how, it’d ruin the surprise. And I won’t say when, because I don’t have it nailed down yet. But maybe sometime I’ll do something. That’s all I can say for now.

Thanks for your support, Chrome Spot. I knew I made the right choice when they were cheaper than the National Brand and the bag was bigger. That’s really what I look for in frozen potato products, a big cheap bag.
-Rue. (Man of Mystery and cheap potato products)

Good morning! Now that you’ve washed your dogs, would you like to attempt it on my cat? She loves a bath and uh, well I haven’t been able to do it in awhile. It’s not that she’s stinky, okay maybe she’s moderately stinky, but she really does love a bath.

I’ve always wanted a JRT. I really don’t have a big backyard though and I’ve heard that JRTs have lots of energy and can be destructive if they aren’t exercised enough.


And had you been there, you would know that duck tape could be used for things more imaginative than dog shoes.

I don’t know that Sophie[sup]*[/sup] would feel to guilty about feeling Rue. At least she didn’t feel that way to me.

[sup]*Rowwwwwwwwwrrrrrrr!!! Trust me on this one.[/sup]

Thanks, The first time I tried it I thought ‘This looks familiar’ closer inspection revealed I had clicked the profile button under one of my own posts. Doh!

So do the cobbler’s children have new shoes?

Since I didn’t come right out and say it here: I am a profesionally trained dog groomer. I have a diploma hanging in the basement and everything.

The cobbler’s children are the last to get shoes.

The dog groomer’s dogs are all stinky because they never get groomed.

There. Done.

Grace, you want your very own Jack Russell? What the Hell is wrong with you? (And I mean that the nicest way possible.)

They are loads of fun and they do have loads of energy. We don’t have a big yard either. But we do have a toddler and a 4 year old. And another dog.

If you really want one, you can make it work. If you have the time to play with the little monster. (Look into breeders that emphasize sociability over vermin crushing ability.) (I have a number if you’re ever in Southwest Ohio.) And play and play.

If you get it as a puppy, your Jack will probably play with your cat. Really play, not try to eat it. Your cat may not appreciate this.
-Rue. (more than a little cheesed he missed OhDope)

That’s the other reason why I don’t have a dog. My cat, Athena, is not playful. She has never been playful and I’m not sure she would like a puppy or dog trying to play with her. I know she doesn’t mind having other animals in the house, she’s very good at ignoring them, but a playful animal in the house will probably not be appreciated. I guess I’ll just have to remain a cat person for now.

And really, there’s nothing wrong with me. JRTs are cute and very smart. I can’t help it if they’re also likely to bite and dig up the yard. Hmmm. On second thought, maybe there is something wrong with me afterall. :smiley:

Ok, the shoemaker’s children have shoes.
So what?

Do they have elves?

Yes, I said elves. After all, you didn’t think the shoemaker made shoes did you?
Hell No!
He has a sweatshop full of unpaid shoemaking elves slaving away for a piddling handful of Keebler’s cookies & a tin cup of water every day & damn grateful for it no Unions here NOSIR!

Rue how will you children grow up to be just like Nike executives if they don’t own their very own sweatshop elves?

And remember, orange sause.

If the elves become ungrateful for the kindness of their hand delivered beatings & their daily swill, orange sause!
Elves taste great lightly browned & covered in orange sause. Add a bottle of wine (red goes with mythological creatures) & some Italian bread, & MMMM-BOY! THEM’S GOOD EATIN’!!

Also, send your children to barbers, not dog groomers.


While Rue may not have elves, I have it on good authority that he may have had a brief infestation of gnomes.

A dog groomer? Really? Ah, the interesting things that you learn about folks when you read their posts…

I’m good!

My first dog was a Sheltie. Tim. Short for Carabus (don’t ask, them kennel names are stoopid sometimes). He was wonderful. He died 12 years ago, on his 4[sup]th[/sup] birthday. I still miss him. I keep thinking that if he were alive today, he’d be a little grey old man. 16 years is not that uncommon for little dogs.

Sigge the Wonder Pup got himself into a world of trouble today. Unfortuneately for him, he did so before I had had breakfast so I was prolly a lot angrier than I should have been. Not his fault though, what kind of an idiot will not have had breakfast at noon? This kind of idiot, I guess.

Otherwise he’s fine. He’s going to his first dog show in less than two weeks. That’ll be a blast. I’m fairly convinced he won’t walk properly, won’t stand still at all, and since he’s losing his baby teeth, he’ll bite the judge when he’ll have his teeth looked at. Itchy gums and all. Oh well. These things happen.

Ahhh… Bosda? I don’t send the DeDay-lites anywhere. I cut their hair myself. They do get their hair cut at the dog groomers.

Soda, sorry to hear about Tim. (It was a long time ago, but still, it sucks.)

On a happier note… You show dogs? Too cool! I love people who show dogs. They bring all their dogs to one place so I can conveniently see a bunch at one time.

I love to blow an afternoon at the Dog Show. And I always ask before I pet and wait till after the dog shows to badger the people about their breed. For the most part.

Sigge, sorry I dropped your “e”. I’ll try to do better next time.

scout, are you going to share an interesting anecdote here? It would be nice. It sure would make me happy.
-Rue. (inviting everyone to share)

A dog grooming moment to share - I’d almost forgotten about this…
When I was in high school, our family pet was a miniature poodle. (No cracks, please - we treated her like a dog and she acted like a dog - none of that frou-frou poodle stereotype for us) Since it was quite pricey to have her trimmed (we kept her hair short for our benefit), my dad bought a clipper set and I groomed her between professional visits (I couldn’t do the ears and nails) Enough parens there??

We decided to breed her before getting her fixed - seemed like a good idea at the time - and it happened a classmate of mine had a male miniature poodle. We offered him pick of the litter, and let the dogs attempt the deed. We didn’t think it took, and she was getting a bit shaggy looking, so I was going to freshen her coif. I got to looking at her belly and noticed her teats were swollen. I got to tell the family that we were gonna have puppies! And I got out of giving that trim - didn’t wanna traumatize the mom-to-be.

As a non-grooming note, she had 3 pups. My classmate took the male and a woman at my dad’s office took one of the females. We had to keep the other female as no one wanted her. The pup wasn’t near as intelligent as the mom - obviously my idiot classmate had an idiot dog.
I don’t have a diploma in my basement, but I’ve cleaned and pressed a doggie or two. But my current beasties are pretty stinky. So, what do you charge, Rue? You’ll be here in Florida after all… :smiley: