The Cocktail Party

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
21

Check! One Margerita coming right up, Ginger. Wait, all I have is tequila and green Kool-Aid. Eh, close enough. In a big enough glass, you won’t care…

And don’t give think any of that scotch broth. It doesn’t have any scotch in it. Inferior stuff if you ask me.

Superdude, cool! How do you keep the girls ballanced on those bicepses? Velcro™? It’s still a good stunt. Have a drink, or some cheese.

Cap’n Yoaz, leave the dog toys alone. That’s a Kong Toy. Not whatever you called it. And you can never have too much KY jelly. I get it by the bucket at Sam’s Club.

Whattaya doin’ with the little cups? Use the big ones. Fewer trips to the kitchen, and more fun for all. Yeah, those big ones. The galvanized drums. Don’t worry about those “biohazard” stickers. I’ve washed each one out myself. Mostly.

Snickers, you like that picture? Nice, huh? And the eyes follow you around the room. That’s art.

No, not like they eyes are looking at you. That’s just creepy. They follow you. It’s a remote control thingie. I don’t understand it myself.

Has anyone tried the Halloween Double Stuff Oreos? They’re really supposed to be that color.

22

:: scurries off to the restroom to check the mirror ::

Oh, man! That orange creme filling made my WHOLE mouth orange! I don’t know which is worse, having the Oreo cookie bits in my teeth, or having a biohazard orange tongue!

Ah, screw it. I better just get me a 55 gallon drum of the green Kool-Aid. If you’re gonna look like a dork at a party, why not go all the way.

So Rue, hide the lampshade, I’m goin’ for it…

23

Remember the old Superglue commercials? Where do you think it got its name? It takes a Superglue for a Superdude.

24

::bobkitty’s ears twitch, and both eyes suddenly pop open::

Chocolate? There’s chocolate in this room? Where? And who drank my G&T?

Uhhhh… could someone bring me some chocolate and another drink? I’m trying to get up, but it seems all that dancing I did last night made for some very uncooperative muscles today. Whenever you get a chance. No rush. Don’t want to be a bother. TIA… in the meantime, it’s Fairie Tails with bobkitty! [sub]Yes, smartasses… I meant to spell it that way.[/sub]

So we’re at this karaoke bar in Vegas, and a friend decides she wanted to sing an Irish song she’d been working on. Up she goes to the guy at the machine… the following exchange then takes place:

Friend: I’d like to sing such-and-such song…
Guy: Never heard of it… don’t have the music.
F: Well, it’s a capella, so I wouldn’t need music. And it’s in Gaelic, so you don’t need to worry about offensive lyrics or anything.
G: Sorry… I can’t let you do it. Even if you are a lesbian.
::blink::
::blink::
F: Gaelic is a language, moron. Old Irish.
G: ::looking rather put-out:: Oh. Well, I still can’t let you do it.
:rolleyes:

Ummm… is that chocolate ready yet?

-BK

25

::Shibb comes back in the room, nearly trips over bobkitty near the couch, kicking her a good one in the shin::

Wow, real shag carpeting! You don’t see that much outside of College Hill anymore. Say, Rue, sorry to be gone so long, but there was no toilet paper out by your, er, bathroom, so I had to make due with those bushes. You don’t have any poison ivy growing out back do you? By the way, where’s the kitchen, I want to wash up my hands a bit, if you know what I mean.
::stumbles toward kitchen accidentaly tripping over the now fully prone bobkitty in the process again, and does a face plant straight into the panelled walls::
Ouch! Rue, perhaps a towel or something for this blood, pal?
and sorry again, bobkitty, that’s a dangerous place to sleep!

26

TP wanders in, looks around at all the sights and sounds

Not bad, not bad at all.

She wanders to the bar and orders a vodka and coke, before heading over to a quiet corner to sip slowly on her drink.

I really am a shy lady. Until you get to know me.

27

Not my knotty pine! Shibb, be more carefull. You can’t get this just anywhere. It’s a special order. Swanky, huh?

bobkitty, one gin and tonic with a side of chocolate. Watch it, that drink will put hair on your tongue. It was the only tonic I could find.

And sorry about those pants. I read somewhere where you shouldn’t sleep in constritive clothing, and I had my EMT shears out and all…

Well, here’s some extra chocolate.

Did anyone see what scout did with those cookies? Man! And now she’s talking about going “all the way”…

I don’t know whether to cut her off or get her a bigger drink. I’m leaning towards “bigger drink”. Has anyone seen the Little Woman tonight?

Oh! Now there’s going to be trouble. T’Other, they’re putting a boot on your burro. I told you to move it across the road.

I see what you mean about not messing with a drunken burro, though.
-Rue. (The other posts by “Rue DeDay” were me too, even though I didn’t sign them at the end. Sorry for any confusion.)

28

T’Other, TruePisces.
TrueP, T’Other.

Now mix. Mingle.

Does anyone have any music requests?

29

::Shibb wanders back out of the kitchen with a large Dagwood sandwich, but carefully avoids another kick of the kitty::
Hi everyone! There’s plenty of good food back in the fridge. Their almost out of Dagwood though, I seem to have gotten the last one.

::walks over to TruePisces

Hi TP, I noticed you are drinking a vodka & coke. How can you stomach that stuff? Are you from Sweden?

30

It’s really not that bad! Honestly. Just takes a little time getting used to it, is all.

Of course, I’m always up for new and interesting drinks. It never can be said that I won’t try anything once.

31

drillrod arrives. he looks around at the beautiful people and prepares to mingle. he suddenly realizes that the last 3 years of his life have destroyed any ability he may once have had at witty repartee. he shakes his head and leaves

32

::after getting kicked twice, bobkitty lies (lays? leis? :wink: ) in wait. As Shibb walks by, bobkitty scurries [sub]you have to see it to believe it[/sub] behind, unnoticed.::

Wait for it… waaaaiiittt for it…

::just as Shibb strikes up a conversation with TP, bobkitty sneaks up and bites Shibb on the ass. All he sees when he looks around for the culprit is a soundly sleeping [sub]and apparently pantless[/sub] bobkitty, too far away to have done such a mean thing.::

Life Lesson #381: Never, ever kick a sleeping kitty without kissing it to make it feel better.

Rue, thanks for the drink and the chocolate. Don’t worry about the pants… I’ll send you the bill. :stuck_out_tongue: But, ummm, it’s a little chilly in here. Can we turn the heat up, or shall I see if I can find a blanket? Oh, and do you have Holst? You know, The Planets? Or how about some Peter Gabriel… maybe ‘Passions’?

-BK

33

Hey, everybody!

I wasn’t sure you’d have enough, so I brought a few extra roosters. These ones are banties, you can tell by the way they crow. [sub]oh, dang, maybe i misunderstood the “cocktail party” idea… I’ll just put them in the guest room…[/sub]

You know, Rue, I always thought you were joking when you said that the walls of your house are made of malted milk balls. Doesn’t it get kinda messy in the hot summer?

Oh, by the way, are you done borrowing my hedgeclippers? I might need them back.

Oh, and hey, if you’re taking music requests, then “Dead Egyptian Blues” By Trout Fishing would be great.

:: Takes drink from TruePices :: Oh, you got me a coke? Thanks, you’re so sweet. I have to stay off the alcohol for today, 'cuz the doc says it might not go well with my meds. So, a coke works great.

34

Here, BobKitty, I notice that you’re remarkedly pantless. I happen to have brought my acrylic paints, as well as some brushes. If you hold still, I’ll gladly paint a pair of spandex shorts on you. It won’t keep you warm, but I guarantee it’ll turn heads.

35

Hey, you guys!

Wow, what a cool house! I never saw an ice sculpture shaped like the Pieta before.

Oh, gosh; it’s late. Sorry! I got lost coming here and then I got a flat tire but it was okay because this most handsome guy in a fire engine red '69 Mustang came by and fixed me right up and I said, “I’m on my way to a really boss cocktail party. Do you want to come with me?”, and he said, “Sure,” and so he followed me here in his car. His name is Mike and he’s a cardiologist and he’s the one over by the bar in the ratty blue jeans and the Hopkins sweatshirt, doing boilermakers.

Oh, and I brought some of my special Spam Treat Casserole with green peas and two bottles of Jim Beam. Wow, I really need to go to the bathroom! Hey, can I smoke in here?

36

::rubs his ass where something just bit him::

Youch!! Jeez, I could swear someone was just trying to rodeo me.

::looks around::
Nope, just bobkitty lying back there pantless. Ooh, sexy underwear, the leather is a nice touch. Wonder what that guys doing with those acrylics, though?

Gotta stop talking to myself at cocktail parties, that’s just strange.

::turns attention back to TruePisces::
So what’s your sign? :wink:

37

celestina steps in and heads straight for the bar. :slight_smile: She gives Rue de Day a hug.

Hi, Rue de Day. Nice idea for a party. All this cheese and stuff! I hope I brought my Lactaid. Anyway, may I have a glass of red fino vino? You got any of that Georges de Boeuff Merlot? That stuff is just divine.

celestina proceeds to load a plate with brie, crackers, grapes, and some pate and starts munching as she waits for some wine to wash it down with.

38

[sub]We’ve secretly replaced celestina’s wine with red Kool-Aid and vodka. Will she tell the difference? Will she care?[/sub]

Here ya go! One “George of the Beef” Mer-lot. And please, just call me “Rue”.

Hi Mike! Glad to see you again. Goin’ with the cardiologist dodge, huh? Good for you.

Creaky, just so you know, Mike lives in his parents garage. Not the basement, the garage. The closest he’s ever been to “cardiology” is grabbing drunk women’s left breast. If he wants to demonstrate his “cardiac massage” technique, you’ve been warned. (She should be smokin’ now. At least steaming a bit.)

You like the Malted Milk Ball look, T.Bunny? It started out as a choking-hazard-turned-Heimlick-manuever-opportunity. We liked the texture so much, we finished off the wall. When it gets hot, we just apply another coat.

You might want to keep the roosters out of the guest bed… too late, huh? Well, Lucy does like chicken…

I don’t have Holst, bobkitty, but I do have this really cool CD. The Symphonies of the Planets. It’s the NASA Voyager recordings.

How does that sound? I also have a Whale Song CD. And Wolf Howls, too.

And bob-o, if I catch you biting anyone else on the ass, it’ll go hard on you. You might get in some trouble too.

If anyone sees drillrod, let me know. I have a special something just for that so-and-so. (It’s a big “D”.)
-Rue.

39

Looks like the party is just warming up. Time for another drink I think. I’ll try a Blue Bazooka.

Nice trousers (pants) bobkitty I just love the colour and the shape . . . . hmmm you seem to have left an ass shaped print on the sofa :eek:

Ok I’ve run out of things too say, maybe I’ll just stand here and look at the plant . . . . .
. . . . . or maybe I’ll Dance. The Symphonies of the Planets. Yeah Baby.

[sub]What do you mena how many cocktails have I had![/sub]

40

Hey, everybody, look!! I brought my accordion! We can have a sing-along - or maybe some polka dancing!

Wait… ow… ow… no… stop… I won’t play… ouch… ugh… I promise!!!

Sheesh, just trying to have some fun. Rue, I thought you said everyone loved accordion music?!?!?