What?! You mean you know Mike? And he’s not a doctor? But-- but-- but he… he looked like a cardiologist! Aw, man… this always happens to me!
What the hell, gimme some cheese. And I’ll hold on to this one bottle of bourbon, if you don’t mind. No, I don’t need a glass, thanks.
I’ll be out on the porch, throwing myself into the azaleas.
Got any “Art of Noise”?
BTW, I brought my cards with me. Anyone care to be dazzled and amazed by some awesome card magic? Pick a card… any card.
(Hey, that’s what I do at parties.)
Hey, thanks Thunderbunny! How about some nice dark green or burgandy shorts? Too much black and I wind up looking like an oreo. 
Shibb, you can thank Thinksnow for the underpants. Doesn’t he have great taste?
Rue, honey, I have no idea what you’re talking about. ::batting eyelashes:: I would never do such a thing. Always keep your teeth to yourself unless begged, is my motto. [sub]you really think it’ll go hard on me? can I hold you to that? or, more to the point, can I hold ME to that?[/sub] The NASA CD will be just fine… we can make our own wolf howls recording later.
Gartog, that’s what Rue gets for letting me on his sofa, then breaking out the EMT shears. Serves him right, I say. 
-BK
Hi-ho, everybody! Sorry, I’m late. I stopped off at Chasen’s for a drink and ran into Bogie and Betty and they asked me to stay a bit. They send their regards but aren’t going to be able to make it. Bogie’s feeling a little under the weather - a bad sore throat or something. I hope it doesn’t develop into anything major.
Anyway, where’s the bar. I’m parched. Any Scotch?
Say, isn’t that Jayne Mansfield over in the corner? Or is it Mamie Van Doren? From this distance all I can see are boobs!
Is Groucho coming? He mentioned something to me about it at the club the other day during our bridge game but I could never figure out of he was going to show or not. The damn skinflint still owes me $5.50 for lunch.
Anyway, like I was saying…
Oh, look, over in this corner. Is that an ant farm or just a terrarium? I remember reading a PETA pamphlet once (it was between the patties of my cheeseburger) on how it’s inhumane and cruel to keep animals in captivity. This might be a good time to do my part…
:: surreptiously removes lid ::
Hey, can I get a drink?
:: boogies spasticly across the room toward the bar ::
Wait a second!!! That isn’t cheese…
:: Enters the room, looks around, sees the pantless bobkitty. Takes off his jacket to drape over her legs, then notices the fresh paint. Fans legs with jacket to dry the paint, which unfortunately cools them off. She gets goosebumps, though, which makes for a really neat effect under the acrylic body paint but probably itches like the dickens. Saunters off in search of a coatrack… ::
My. Impressive topiary out there in the garden. Is that a whale or a rooster?
Cougarfang saunters in, tail-in-tail with tomfriend
well, hey, a cocktail party! wonderful! [sub]mind if i gate-crash it? OW! OW! ok, i get the point[/sub]
yeah, the blouse is new. how did you know?
oh. no cat hairs. right.
tomfriend starts sidling towards the half-naked bobkitty surreptitiously
Ooh no you don’t, come back here Cougarfang yanks tomfriend back by the tail
say, lets go over and check out the drinks
stalks towards drinks table, hauling hapless tomfriend by the whiskers
nice cheese. don’t you have problems with the mice?
oh, it’s not cheese? sorry, my bad
by the way, if the mice think it’s cheese, too, i can come over aaaaaaaaany time and… exterminate 'em fer ya…
continues to drink table, sits and starts drinking with tomfriend
Hi Rue, I brought some leftovers from our last party, where can I put all this haggis?
Oh you don’t? Then I suppose you don’t want the 30 gallons of Scotch either?
Hey leggo! I’m all for male bonding and stuff, but that’s a little much!
So what ya got on the barby?
You don’t?
Then I think someone’s set fire to your doghouse, man!
::heads for the back yard to grab the garden hose::
Just set the 30 gallons of Scotch right here next to me. I’ll watch if very closely for you.
celestina accepts a glass of “wine” from Rue, thanking him for having the excellent taste to have George de Beef around expressly for her :-). She goes through the motions of sniffing it, taking an experimental sip, sloshing it around in her mouth, and then swallowing.
“Hmmm. That’s an interesting bouquet this wine has, and I don’t believe I’ve ever tasted wine like this before. It’s a little strong for a Merlot.” She shrugs. “Oh well. It’s alcohol.”
She quaffs it then goes in search of plnnr and Bumbazine and the Scotch they’re guarding. I think y’all need some help watching them 30 gallons of Scotch. She sits down, picks up a fifth of Dalwhinie, opens it and pours herself a shot. Then she sits sipping it and cradling the bottle and waves to and calls out to Gartog.
“Hey Gartog! Looks like you’ve been having a fun time here. Care to come help me “guard” this Scotch? Oh, and Rue, you got some Earth, Wind, and Fire you can put on. I got me a taste for some good ol’ soul music.”
The fun is just beginning!
With pleasure just let me get a couple of glasses. Ice?
Dalwhinie nice choice I took a tour around their distillery a few years ago - very nice that was
Funny, the 30 gallons of Scotch doesn’t seem to be doing anything worth watching. Still, I stay close by just in case something happens. Make mine Laphraig. I’m now the proud owner of one square meter of a bog thanks to a coupon that came with my last bottle. J&B with water back and a twist of lemon will tide me over nicely, too. If pressed, I’ll take Bombay martini, in and out (serve it in a dusty glass), hold the olive.
Now that we’re set for libations, anyone know any good gossip?
Zappo strolls in.
Rue, dude! My invitation must have gotten lost. Fortunately I ran into FairyChatMom at Dr. Brown’s Marital Aid Sto. . .I mean the supermarket. . .yeah, that’s it. . .and she told me about the shindig. Wouldn’t be a party without me, right?
Walks over to the booze table and makes up a Stoli and tonic, then sidles over to the group keeping watch on the Scotch
Hey Bumbazine, long time no see! What’s new?
Hey Rue,
I brought you a nice bottle of wine. Here let me open it for you:
“I hate the furniture in here. It’s too hot. I’m tired. The worlds unfair. Why is life so…”
<<quickly jamming the cork back in>>
Damn, I picked up some whine instead, my bad. I’ll make it up to you with bad jokes if you want. I’ll just grab a beer from the fridge, scratch that, I definately want some of javamavens happy sangria. Any tapas to go with that Rue?
So, bobkitty, how was Vegas? Win a lotta money? I hope you had fun.
O.K., I’ll pick a card Dragwyr. It’s the seven of clubs. Oh…wait, I’m not suppossed to tell you right away? Sorry. O.K. I got another one, What now?
Nice party
No ice for me, but thanks for offering, love. So tell me about this tour. Sounds fascinating. 
I’m also up for any good gossip that’s out there. Mind you, I’m really not one to gossip.
Quack, quack, quack, quack!!!
We have a winner! Wait a minnit! The duck wasn’t set for “supermarket”, it was set for “vacuum cleaner”, let me just check this… Hey! There are ants in the works! Oh, wait… [sub]uh oh[/sub]
Not to get anyone alarmed, but someone has left the top of my tank of Bolivian Underpants Beetles. They were in the terrarium with the warning in nine languages. “Do Not Open”. How much more do I need to say? “Do Not Open Unless You Really Want To”, that was not on the tank at all.
But don’t worry, Bolivian Underpants Beetles (or BUB’s) are harmless. Mostly harmless anyway. They only eat underpants, something about a concentration of body oils or some such. If you feel a tingling sensation around your loins, that means either bobkitty is around or you have a localized BUB infestation.
Oh jeez! bobkitty! We need to either get her some new pants, or a skirt or something… or we could give her another coat of paint…
I vote option “B”.
Snickers, I said according to what I heard, everyone likes music. I didn’t say anything about accordion music.
Is plnnr carrying a Personal Temporal Anomoly, or is it another case of Blunt Instrument Impact Trauma. Someone check for shovel print on the head, will ya? (That’s plnnr’s head, not a shipboard potty.)
Is that homemade haggis, Bumbazine? Mmmm-mm. So much better than that store bought stuff. When you get the doghouse under control, we’ll have to fry up a slice. (Or however the hell you’re supposed to cook the stuff.)
Hamlet, it was the three of clubs. It’s always the three of clubs. Just so’s you know.
-Rue.
Sorry, Rue, I read that as “nepo ton od” and “nenffo thcin ettib”. I must have the prescription on my glasses checked. Wait, I’m not wearing my glasses. I must have lost them when I [sub]inadvertently[/sub] tripped over bobkitty. I hope they didn’t fall into her…vacuum cleaner.
Amazing! You selected the 7 of clubs again! Now put it back into the pack and shuffle the cards.
::Hamlet puts it back into the pack and shuffles the cards.::
Now that you’ve shuffled the cards, look through the deck. You’ll find your card has vanished and has appeared here.
And you think THAT was amazing. You should see what I can do after a few drinks!
