::Finally comes to and crawls out of the oven::
What the? What the hell is going on here? What happened to the windows? Wheres that music comin’ from? Where is my damn underwear, and what on earth have you done to my donkey?!?!?
I need a drink, it’s been a long week…
Hey, T’Other? Your socks? They don’t match your shoes. I just thought you’d want to know.
-Rue.
::Tosses an empty bottle of Crown Royal at Rue, missing by a long shot::
[drunken slur]
Thaaawasa hic goodone…HAhicHA!
[/drunken slur]
I knew I should have stayed in that damn oven.
::Stumbles off to find anything of value belonging to Rue so he can steal it and head for the pawn shop::
With a goofy grin on her face, a rumpled celestina emerges from a room upstairs and descends the stairs stepping gingerly over dead Underpants beetles, dazed and half-deaf Dopers, shards of glass, foam from a bubble bath, cat fur, and lord knows what else. She heads over to where she hid the bottle of Dalwhinie, and miraculously it’s still intact and half full. Not seeing any glasses available, she turns the bottle up, takes a healthy swig, turns and looks at the band, and asks:
“So where’s the music? It’s too quiet in here.”
BTW, Rue, this is a ROCKIN’ party, but, um, hon’, what’s that burro doing in the tree out in your yard?
[pout] I go take me a little, itty, bitty nap, and I miss out on all the fun.
zoogirl, being by now right sick of never getting to dance, has jumped up in front of Mr zoogirl and is making it hard for him to keep his bass flat. Outside the braying breaks the almost-quiet, and inside Hip-hop has recovered enough to croak softly in time to the music. (Watch for him on “Stupid Pet Tricks”) From the kitchen come the sounds of the impending bake-off. An oven door slams, followed by a anguished yell as the gas is turned on and the flame ignites.
Apperantly, TheOtherOne, unable to find anything whole to hock , has crawled back in the oven…
Hey, guys! You’re supposed to CHECK that thing first!
:rolleyes:
why of course, Superdude. but, you’re gonna have to get the drinks for us two ladies… 
Yeah, good luck with that. Am Vets doesn’t even call anymore. That’s the kind of stuff you’ll find around here.
But if you’re going to pawn something, make it a ham. Ham’s are made to hock. [Foghorn Leghorn]Ham, hock… get it boy? It’s a joke son. [/Foghorn Leghorn]
I think I need another drink.
babekitten, cougie can I get anything for you? Can I do anything for you? Can I do anything to you? (Yeah, I need another drink.)
zoogirl, my Maple Leaf of Love, let’s dance! Yeah, this is dancing. No, I’m not having a seizure…
-Rue.
I wouldn’t have it any other way, Cougarfang. What would you like? And you, bobkitty?
I could use another double G&T, please. Two slices of lime.
Rue, I seem to hear a frog around here somewhere. Could I just sit right here in case it comes by? ::snuggle:: Thanks! Oh, and I put your dust cloth back in the closet. Here, I grabbed your copy of Horton Hatches an Egg… read to me?
Straight up, or on the rocks?
[sub]Cuz if it’s on the rocks, I’m using my special ice cubes made of gin.[/sub]
I guess my spastic dancing threw me back into my chair. That’s OK though, I get a lapful a bobkitty. Or nearly a lapful. Dear, have a muffin. And of course I’ll read to you. I’ll do the silly voices and hand motions too. (I think you’ll especially like the hand motions…)
-Rue.
eh, how about some snake poison and beer?
I’m serious, that’s what a lot of people drink in Taiwan.
no, really. they milk the snake’s fangs for the poison and mix it with beer. as a side dish, you can also order snake meat.
hmmm… good question. i don’t know if Rue has any poisonous snakes lying around… maybe i’ll ask. oh Ruuuuuuueeeee… any snakes?
Cougie, we both know why you asked about snakes. It’s just a set-up for a cheap dick joke. Well, I’m not going to fall for it.
I’m not going to say: “Yeah bay-bee, I have a snake for you.”. I’m definitely not going to suggest we go somewhere more private to “milk” it. (No matter how badly I want to.) (Say it that is.) (OK, and go somewhere more private.) (But I’m not going any farther with that train of thought.)
Sorry.
But I’m sure Supe’ll be along shortly. He’ll help you out, I’m sure.
-Rue.
<standing quietly in the corner with a glass of wine, observing the goings-on>
Rue, I’m not too savvy when it comes to decorating and all, but are those underpants hanging in the ceiling fan part of the ambience or remnants of an orgy? And if I missed the orgy, will you be hosting another any time soon? Just asking, no reason…
No need, Cougarfang. Right here in my utility belt[sup]™[/sup] I have both snake venom and anti-venom. You never know, being a superhero and all. What kind of beer would you like it in?
Snakes? Did I hear SNAKES?! Well! As it happens we have a copperhead and a whole mess of rattlesnakes at work. We’ve got Pacifics and a Missasaugua and a couple from Arizona. Ya want venom? If I could figure out how to pick the locks on their cages we’d be all set! Any volunteers? TheOther One?
Hey, Rue, thanks for the (almost) dance! I think I’ll just go and aggravate Mr. zoogirl some more. He gets the MOST interesting look on his face when I dance–like this…
(Mr.zoogirl only holds onto his guitar by dint of iron self control. zoogirl knows just how to push his buttons-among other things! The rest of the guys just :rolleyes:
“Oh man, she’s at it again!”)
Hey, what’s up with the Bakeoff? Anyone clean the oven yet?
no, Rue, real snakes. really.
rattlesnakes, eh? hmmm… i guess that’s fine. here, i’ll pick the locks with my CougarClaws[sup]TM[/sup]
pick pick pick
takes out a HUUUUUGE snake
milk milk milk
notices Superdude with his snake venom and antivenom
ooh, venom cocktails!
mix, mix, mix
glug glug glug
mmmmmm… tastes great! anyone else want any?
uh, did i just kill this thread?
Oh, sorry, Cougarfang. I was too busy looking into your eyes…
::slug::
Hey! Quit hittin’ on the other cats!