This thread was triggered by a conversation I heard at my dentist’s office. And let me start with a disclaimer that I’m not intending to mock anyone’s choices. Onward…
My mother never taught me how to use cosmetics. My few attempts in my 20s were somewhat awful, and apart from lipstick and mascara, which I gave up on in my 30s, I just never bothered. In my early 30s, I’d occasionally get a perm, but having a preschooler and limited fun money, I gave up on that after a few times. I did use DIY hair coloring for a few years, but even that became more of a hassle than I wanted to deal with. I get my hair cut every six months or so whether it needs it or not! Never had a manicure, had only one pedicure and hated it. Ultimately, none of that was important to me.
But at the aforementioned dental office, I overheard 2 women discussing their eyelashes. I don’t know exactly what they were getting done, but they mentioned $150-$160 with $110 for a fill-in. That conversation and a trip down memory lane made me realize I saved a buttload of money by not doing those various things.
FWIW, I don’t drink coffee either, so no massive Starbucks expenses. My dear friend swampbear once described me as a cheap date - yep, that’s me.
Exactly the mindset that attracted me to my partner of the past 22 years (well, there are other factors, too).
I am not at peace with the thread title - I find female beauty is usually diminished by products and procedures that endeavor to alter what is there.
I used to have a friend who averaged around $200/month in cosmetic expenditures. She really knew how to apply stuff skillfully - I saw her exactly once without her full routine applied, and it was like a different, ghostly person. So that worked for her.
I am more like the OP, and like the OP, I know I’ve saved a huge amount of money over the years because of my indifference to make-up. I own a few drugstore items - eyeliner, mascara, and blush - but it’s quite rare for me to use them, and when I do, I feel like a clown. It just doesn’t feel or look right to me.
IMO, some women groom themselves with the intent of improving their attractiveness, and others approach it more as a means of artistic self-expression. Of course there is overlap, and I would also say young women in particular are being trained to think that more extraneous and expensive procedures are absolutely basic and normal.
This thread is apparently about the dollar cost of feminine cosmetics, but I’ll just add my support to the above statement – speaking as a male, I generally find women more attractive when they’re not done up with fancy cosmetics but simply have a natural appearance. What, for instance, is the point of bright red lipstick that makes the woman’s lips glow like a traffic light? To me, that’s more like a symptom of some disease. Add in mascara, and IMHO you’re pretty much all set for Halloween!
I saw a movie recently where the female character got all cosmetic-isized and appeared at the dinner table with a fancy hairdo and formal dress and the male character uttered the line, “My God, you’re beautiful!”. As if he’d never realized it before. Nah, I liked her better in a T-shirt and jeans and without paint all over her face.
It has long been normalized for women to alter their faces and hair to currently fashionable beauty standards as much as possible. It began to be somewhat optional in the 1970’s but few young women feel safe with that option, I think. Little is more shaming to women than to be called ugly.
Men who prefer a natural appearance in women probably are unaware that the natural effect is often achieved with cosmetics simply applied more subtly, to make skin tones look warmer and more even, eyes deeper and larger, etc.
Cosmetics are notoriously and wildly overpriced, as what is being sold is glamour and luxury.
Cosmetic procedures are a mysterious world to me. There’s a shop I drive by that offers ‘threading’ which I was told is something women do to their eyebrows.
When I was young I wore makeup on special occasions like dates, but my lifestyle never much included being regularly indoors with other people. Either I was in an art or writing studio alone, or out working with animals and plants, hiking, riding … cosmetics don’t work in those environments. So I never got in the habit.
Saved a lot of money I guess, which I wasted on something else.
Same here - my mother didn’t use make-up much or very often, and I grew up being completely indifferent to it. I see women who have clearly spent a lot of time, effort and money on how they look and fair play to them, they might think they look good but personally make-up makes me think some people are afraid of how they look without it.
Then again, I’m an overweight ugly old bird, so I have nothing to gain! Also, get my hair cut religiously every 6-8 weeks because otherwise I look and feel like a shaggy dog
I am, like a lot of people here, almost militantly "non-girly’, bu, and i speak only for me, I think a lot of it is internalized misogyny. When I was young, it was really clear to me that respect and girlish things were mutually incompatible in a lot of ways: girly girls were often popular, but they werent respected, and I have always craved that more serious sort of attention. So who knows what I would havr been like, without that early messaging?
Now, in my late 40s, I fight hard not to perpetuate those views, and to police my own assumptions and behaviors. It is a real struggle, even though i know tons of girly girls who absolutely deserve to be taken seriously. 20 years ago, i would not have seen that.
Personally, at 48, I find it is easier to be taken seriously in professional context if i do a little to conform to expectations: blow dry my hair so its not a mess, wear foundation. I don’t have any gray, but if I did, I will color it.
I will also say that for a lot of women, what they do is what everyone does, and anything else feels excesssive. So like, womwn who say they do “nothing” will still, say, style their hair a little or have a skin care regime or something. Which is perfectly fine, but noticing the pattern has made me aware of my own tendency to sort of arbitrarily decide what is “basic, practically required” and what is frivolous.
I do know a woman whose hair styling consists of shaving her head and who dresses in clothes that look like they were picked out of the garbage (and not in a stylish way), but on the other hand IMO she is pretty crazy therefore I would not take anything she does as representative of women’s fashion trends.
But it stands that you don’t have to spend hundreds of dollars every time you get your hair done, or use any cosmetics (I’ll allow sunblock and/or moisturizer)
How to be taken seriously in a professional context is its own can of worms, of course.
My formative years for noticing sexual attractiveness (i.e., from summer after 6th grade through end of high school) occurred in such time and place that hippie naturalness and feminist egalitarianism configured a lot of what I like.
Female morphology is definitely a lily that needs no gilding, and it has its most profound effect on me when it isn’t wrapped in a lot of unnecessary emphasis.
I didn’t even consider the surgical possibilities. That’s where one gets into serious $$$.
And, of course, beauty in the eye of the beholder and all that. Or in the mirror of the woman who considers cosmetics to be a necessary part of her attire. Certainly we are all free to dispose of our disposable income as we wish. As my husband pointed out today, we chose to dispose of ours in our boat…
eyelash/brow threading is what they were discussing … and it looks painful where it looks to me like you get fake brows/lashes sewn into your skin … …only reason I know this is around here its sort of become a cottage industry and they advertise a lot in local Facebook groups and nextdoor etc and they show pictures …
Just the thought of keeping makeup brushes clean, updating eye shadow colors, keeping up with serums and contour makeup, applying concealers and bronzers and curling eyelashes, coloring the eyelids and lining the lash line and applying lipstick in multiple shades, fretting over thinning brows and scheduling eyebrow stylists, and the hair oh for long hair it can’t just hang there god forbid. Look at any real housewife OG they must have extensions for the beachy waves is the current longhair style. Highlights or lowlights or slap a wig on it.
Me? I am into a skin care routine. 3 products after the shower. Toner serum tinted moisturizer. Slap dash of powder. Lip balm and a fragrance out the door! My hair is pinned up. Gotta go!
Thanks to good genetics, I haven’t gotten any gray yet. When it happens, it happens. One of my sisters is a year younger and she’s got a lot of gray (I take after Dad’s side of the family, she favors Mom’s) and she accused me of coloring my hair. Sorry, Sis - I is what I is!
The one thing I’ve done consistently for years is a facial moisturizer after showering. It’s a generic version of Oil of Olay with SPF15. So I’m minimally wrinkled so far. At least my face is. We won’t talk about the rest of me.
I’m far from an eyebrow threading expert but I’m pretty sure that hairs are only removed during the process and the brow itself is often “shaped” to look “better.”
That’s my understanding of what threading is as well. It’s just an alternative way of plucking your eyebrows. I think t’s a traditional Indian technique.
I started wearing makeup in junior high which are the years to experiment and learn what to do. I never did extreme makeup, but it doesn’t bother me. It’s an artistic expression to my eyes. To say it looks diseased or like a clown comes across as nasty to me.
It’s all about enhancing what I have, not to change my looks. By the time I was college age, I could do all the makeup I used in about five minutes. It doesn’t have to be a huge time sink. I also didn’t buy the seriously expensive makeup either – although I would get slightly upscale foundation because cheap foundation doesn’t smooth on the skin well and often turns orangey or calamine lotion pink.
So, do what you want, and I’ll do what I want. What really costs me is perfume. Cheap perfume is truly awful, and so many expensive ones are irresistible to me.
I’m into a skin care routine too. Moisturizer in the winter. Sunscreen in the summer. Yours is definitely a lot more work. I have to struggle to remember to do mine.
