Moderating:
The line between describing your own reaction to seeing something and bashing the person who made the choices you are seeing us a thin one, but it’s there. Please, let’s stick to the non-bashing side. And try to avoid bashing.
I don’t think it’s practical to talk about the cost of “beauty” without at least a little discussion of what you think is beautiful, but let’s also try to stay focused on the thread’s topic.
Thanks.
I gave up cosmetics entirely after this notorious incident. And I mean completely - absolutely nothing, no foundation, no lipstick, nothing, nada. My skin and cosmetics are not a good combination.
(I do use sunscreen. A very plain, carefully chosen sunscreen without any additional toners or bronzers or whatever. JUST sunscreen. Because cancer sucks.)
I have, at times, suffered push back. The worst was job interviews - some people really pushed me to use “just a little” make up for job interviews. Nope, not going to do it. Ever, At all. It’s not worth the red, blotchy, infected skin (that’s what years of “acne” turned out to be). It not worth ever risking the need to have surgery again. There is a real lack of understanding that wearing make up, even for a few hours, is going to have a really bad, negative, awful effect on my skin. So, I don’t wear it, even when people tell me not doing so means “you’re not even trying”. Trying what? Trying to require medical care?
Despite all sorts of dire warnings I have not lacked for male attention in my life, I am gainfully employed, no one recoils in horror, and young children do not fear me.
That said, I have zero issue with the people who do enjoy make up, enjoy changing their looks, experimenting, who have looks that range from what I call faux-natural to wildly constructed. Have fun. You do you. Young people SHOULD experiment with their look and their style to find what fits them. Nothing wrong with someone older going through another phase of experimentation and reinvention.
There is a cost to cosmetics, this is true. And unfortunately in our society there can also be a cost to NOT wearing cosmetics. I just society in general wasn’t so hung up on appearance.
Well said and I just wanted to second this.
As a guy, it’s tempting to see a woman spending a lot of money on, say, getting her nails done and shake my head and think it’s a waste because most guys don’t notice or care.
But who says it’s for our benefit?
Not me. My wife will paint her nails while watching TV, show me for my “That’s nice” and walk out of the room saying “So PRETTY!” Or, if visiting with her mom or sister, they might get their nails done as a chance to get primping and pampering while they catch up. Then she comes back and informs me that her nails are pretty.
In any event, she’s not doing it so I’ll say “Wow, finally you’re hot now that your nails are that color”, she’s doing it because she likes doing it and likes the result. A lot of women like to decorate or make pretty things; one of the things she likes making cute or pretty is herself. I don’t think you need to leap to “brainwashed waif of the patriarchal machine” for that (not accusing you, but this thread’s tones…). She does spend some money on it but she’s a grown-ass woman with a grown-ass job (and making more than me at this point anyway, not that it’s the tipping point) so if she wants to spend some of her grown-ass money on tubes and jars from Sephora that bring her creative joy at making something pretty, more power to her. It’s not about me.
Even tho I’ve made it clear that I don’t do cosmetics or any of that stuff, I do wonder sometimes what a “professional” would do to give me a make-over. I have no intention of paying anyone to find out, but it would be interesting to see what someone else’s interpretation of me would be.
Eons ago, I let the woman who cut my hair futz with it and show me what it would look like beyond my usual wash-dry-comb routine. It did look nice, but it took longer than my approach, and when I was getting up at 5 and leaving at 5:30 for work, I wasn’t going to be waking up earlier for my hair.
My daughter is more “girly” than I am - I’m sure she learned it from her friends, because it definitely didn’t come from me. I’m waiting to see if “non-girly” skips a generation and hits my granddaughter. She’s just 6, so time will tell. 
Threading is just twisting two threads together to grab and then pluck the eyebrow hairs. Sometimes also used on unwanted mustache or chin hairs. The closest thing I know of to “Sewing in” extra hair would be micro-blading. That is basically a tattoo, but using a long thin blade (instead of a needle) to mimic the look of hairs. Then there are the fake lashes, but those are just glued on.
In my youth I spent a lot of time and money on make-up and hair. It’s what I was taught growing up. It took until my mid-30s for me to begin to leave the house without make-up, or with my hair in just a pony tail. Now I couldn’t care less.
IMO the dearest cost was time. For example, daily washing, conditioning and drying/styling of my hair used to take about an hour every morning. When I finally cut it all off, I did the math and realized I had wasted two weeks every year of my life on hair. Never again.
I just asked Gemini (AI) for an example of a woman wearing too much makeup.
Women have spent a long time trying to be treated as equals, getting ahead by more than our beauty. I’m not saying all makeup is wrong.
Yep and it’s probably right that Gemini has that rule*. At least half of the requests will be people trying to make fun of someone.
* …in the main. My thoughts are a bit more nuanced but it will take us off on a tangent. So I’ll just say: for now, for a system like this, just refusing certain requests is sensible.
First, to acknowledge that this is a women’s issue thread, and as an “other than,” my opinion expects other than primary consideration.
So to address the economic aspects, first there’s the prevalent belief in our capitalist society that money is continually “created,” and the concept of “saving” it is not a reality. Compare wealth to a force out of physics, like heat. It’s generated in higher centers of energy. Just like there’s no such thing as cold, just the absence of heat; richer neighborhoods will generate more wealth than poor neighborhoods. (I don’t believe this for one second, but as consumerists we’re expected to. So that’s two reasons why I have no voice in the matter).
Therefore it follows that line of irrational thought that women, who by some accounts earn 3/4 less than men, yet bear the burden of paying to achieve grooming standards far beyond those imposed upon men. The only explanation I have for this, economics-wise, is that economics is crazy. Painting masks on ourselves is no more irrational than painting saints on the ceilings of our churches. Look deeper into the economic ramifications behind both for the craziness.
Lately there’s been online reaction to what’s been called the Walmart Brain-rot ad, that celebrates ever-younger children’s prioritization of trendiness as they attend school. School as a place to achieve superficial social value based on clothing, not on academics.
I’d add that it includes the idea that pre-pubescent girls should assert sexual capital for self-worth, at the risk of the usual pushback: “there’s nothing sexual about adult female beauty. If you think that about women, you’re an incel” (okay, I never said female beauty exists only as a function to please men, but go ahead and make that accusation since it supports the following accusation): “and when we dress little girls up like beauty queens and you think it’s sexual, you’re the perv here.” How fucking facile.
FTR, my own daughter flirted with being a girly-girl as she approached puberty, went through it as a tomboy, did the usual over-plucking and roughing natural to teenagers, then settled into utilitarianism as an adult.
Some women maintain that they glam up because it makes them feel good. Others insist men should pay for dates since they have to spend extra for clothes and cosmetics. There’s no inconsistency there because it’s never the same woman saying both things.
I honestly don’t post wanting to offend anyone, although one needs to hold authority to offend. As an “other than” I have no authority here, so I ratchet down to the level of annoyance. Which I hope I have not.
My friends and I started wearing make up at age 10. It wasn’t expensive.
The big thing back then was white lipstick, which looks great.
And eyeshadow.
I am pale, so I do still wear lipstick ($6) and eyeliner ($2).
But my skin is blotchy so I wear foundation ($38).
I personally think women look better without make up ( am a female).
In college (early 80s), I lived in a dorm with community bathrooms. I felt sorry for the women who felt they had to put on make-up before going to the bathroom. (This was a girl’s only dorm that guys weren’t even allowed except for visiting hours)
I feel your pain
It isn’t necessarily about tactile issues. Sometimes it can be near impossible to find good colors.
I am very pale - so much so, that almost no brand of foundation has a shade that’s as light as my skin. And my skin has a blue undertone that is apparently unusual. I’ve had dark circles under my eyes since I started noticing those things, and anything I can get to fix that is too dark.
Lipstick is tricky. It took me a long time to find a color that didn’t look garish.
I did wear make-up for quite a while for work, but that petered out as I realized I could get up later without it. Also, sometimes in the mid-80s they started putting something in eye shadow that bothered my eyes. Not a full allergy attack, but my eyes would be uncomfortable, like I needed sleep. That took most of the fun out of wearing eye shadow.
So I don’t wear make-up anymore and haven’t for years. I know there are some things I can do that are flattering, but, eh.
I know there are a lot of guys who think women should wear make-up. I consider this a bonus because I don’t want to know them anyway
I’m not sure how relevant this is but I think that there is an element of “brainwashing” - deliberate or otherwise - in some cases (or one case anyway). My wife, for example, received a lot of negative feedback from her mother, who was sorely lacking in self esteem.
So for the last 35 years I have seen an attractive woman refuse to go out the door without doing her makeup routine. To my eye, the effort changes nothing except for her own self image. I don’t begrudge that but it is too bad that she feels so strongly about how necessary it is.
Holy hell! That is crazy town. Although on another message board decades ago one woman said she stayed in makeup all night so her husband wouldn’t see her without it in the morning.
im suprised she didnt go the permanent make up route
I’ve told this story before, but:
I used to live in a house full of guys. One day we went to the beach with a bunch of girls. Afterward, I listened to them discuss the girl who wore her usual makeup and didn’t want to get her hair wet. She was no fun, and a high-maintenance pain in the ass. Then they talked about the girl who came bare-faced. She looked weird and sickly. What I learned: you’re damned if you do, and damned if you don’t.
No one taught me how to apply makeup, and I learned the hard way what was too much. I was a foster kid trying to look a lot older than I was, so I did the whole routine: Foundation, blush, eye shadow, brows, liner, lipstick.
Things finally got sorted and I went to live with my father and his new bride, a woman who was a whole 9 years older than me. But she was a beauty queen, and she knew how to apply makeup. During summer vacation, she took me under her wing and eliminated about 70% of my routine.
I went back to school and one guy commented on how much nicer I looked “without glasses.” I never wore glasses. 
The routine was further dialed back through a bet with a boyfriend. I lost, and my pay-up was to go without makeup of any kind for a month. It was hard at first, but I finally saw a face that was fine without if I so chose. That was a nice bet to lose.
Still, except for the eye liner, I continued to use the full spectrum of makeup, just much less of it. My public-facing career arc pretty much demanded it. Also hair care and clothes. Spendy.
When we moved to Oregon, I just let all that drop. The only thing I still do is color my hair. Can’t quite let that one go. But the rest? Oh, yeah.
Once in a blue moon, I’ll still do the Full Monty. A special dinner out or a party, like that. Otherwise, never. I’ve saved much money. And even more time.
Eventually, you’ll stop dying your hair, too. Covid was my push. Now, I’ll never go back to coloring it.
I know, right? I thought COVID would be the turning point, but it wasn’t! I’m fooling no one at this point, but we gray early in my family and it’s hard to break a habit of 50 years…
I am thoroughly sick of doing it, so I get what you’re saying!
If you take care of it and have a good and easy style, gray looks beautiful. It’s so nice to not deal with the smell, the mess, and the burning scalp. It saves money too. Though, one of these days I want a purple streak.