Which gives me an idea. Let’s make a list of show-stopping questions or statements that I can read from the next time I get a call like this.
First on the list, “This is the Major.”
Slightly panicked voice: “How…how are you calling me? I don’t have a phone!”
Nervy voice: ‘Are you in my fillings?’
If they say no, make them prove it.
Oh, and a variation on this used to be my standard response to telemarketers, before we went unlisted: ‘Sorry, there’s been some mistake, we don’t have a phone.’ Click.
That is kind of weak compared to this (turn off the sound if you are at work).
When it was first enacted, it actually worked well for me for a couple of years. Now? Totally useless. I get spammed on my cell phobe and we reinstalled a landline about two years ago for emergency purposes. Before I was even able to memorize my own number, we got telemarketing calls. Like, the first day, before anyone knew our number (and, still, it’s pretty much just me and my wife who know it.) I tried the DNC list, but it had absolutely no effect. I wouldn’t say there is a higher volume of calls, but it was about as effective as trying to wish the telemarketers away.
I never answer calls from numbers I don’t recognize, but years ago we kept getting these calls at the office. So I finally decided to keep the caller on the line as long as possible.
When she asked me my name I gave her the name of the gal who was the Chairman of the Federal Trade Commission at the time. Then she asked for my employer. “I am the Chairman of the Federal Trade Commission. Yes, the Federal Trade Commission.”
I think I finally got bored and hung up, and then she called me back! I felt kinda bad because she seemed to genuinely think I was a prospect.
That number looks like a big credit card services scam. Look here: BAD NUMBERS - 360-322-6714 / 3603226714
Have you gotten yourself a call blocking device? There are a few stand alone devices and now even phones with the blockers in them. Panasonic has one. Google “T-Lock Pro Call Blocker.” It has a 1500 number blacklist, but I’ve only used about 120 numbers after about a year. The calls slowly started to go away after about a month. Makes life a lot easier watching your phone hang up by itself.
Call blockers cause a delay since the CID data is transmitted between the first and second ring. Not a problem for calls you don’t want, but it isn’t friendly for those you do.
Compared to many people with listed numbers, I get few junk calls, since my numbers aren’t listed and haven’t been for 40 years. They come only from robodialers, not name & number lists. I’m pretty hip as to which numbers are junk, but sometimes I just want to fuck with 'em.
Also, I hope to serve as an early warning system for my neighbors. If I see a scam making the rounds, I can warn others who tend to be more trusting than I.
What is interesting is to go and see how low they get as they try to sell you. I’ve gotten them down to like 25% of the original price at one before I left. Shows how much people who buy early are getting ripped off.
I also invited a vacuum cleaner salesman in. The junior guy cleaned part of my carpet (not well) and the senior guy came to sell me. I got him to about 15% of the original price, but the fun part was seeing him switch sales tactics. He started talking about God (that didn’t work 
) and moved on to needing to make a sale to feed his starving children. Great fun in a sick sort of way.
I can see the fun, but I just don’t have that kind of patience.
When it wears thin, but the crooks just keep a-comin’, I’ll merely stop answering.
Hold on, I seem to be out of toilet paper …
Gallup and all political pollsters are exempt from DNC laws. Mostly because the lawmakers use poll data to get re-elected.
Here’s the best example of fucking with a telemarketer I’ve ever heard. 
Oh my yes! I had a friend who, in a moment of youthful poverty and desperation, tried his hand at selling Silver Queens. He ran his full spiel for his friends, and we tried as hard as we could to help him out, but he realized even then that he’d made a terrible, terrible mistake. I’m not certain he made a sale.
(OTOH, my ex once succumbed to an in-home pitch and paid something like $800 for a vacuum. I played bad cop and returned it. In retrospect, even though she was embarrassed, I think that might have been the moment I started to realize maybe that relationship wasn’t gonna work out.)
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Christ, my ex, Mrs. Plant (v.2.0) would have bought that with my credit card in a New York Minute, she being unfortunate enough to have been born there. If it is expesive, it must be better!
I let one of those “firemen” try to push show tickets on me one time – charitable cause and all that – then they suggested using my credit card. Whoa, no thank you, you called me, and you want me to give you my card number on blind faith??? I mean, if I originated the call, at least I can be somewhat confident that I am talking to someone reputable, if you call me, what kind of possible assurance can you give me that you are not some thief just trying to get my card number?
You would actually dis America’s finest firemen? What kind of terrorist are you, anyway? A Commie?
Update: I just wasted 40 seconds of another asshole’s time. Calling me three times in two days. Apparently my opinion is highly valuable.
This is why you should never trust any poll. Do you think my call was registered in the yes, no, or undecided column?
I wonder what would happen if you answered one of the calls, went through the sales pitch, agreed to buy something, then identified yourself as a burglar who just happened to answer the phone and thought the product or service sounded intriguing.