[Disclaimer: I do not own The Highlander or any of the Immortals.]
Mike Barker the Immortal was trying to decide where to go for lunch when he received the telephone call from the principal of the local middle school regarding a fight in which Kid Czarcasm was involved.
Mike was disappointed to hear that, as he was hoping the telephone call would be from a client. Business as a self-employed private investigator was very slow. He had hung out his shingle a week ago, but so far no one had requested his services.
So when Mike heard the principal identify himself over the phone, his first thought was, “Any chance he wants to hire me to investigate a drug problem in the school?”
No such luck. It was Kid Czarcasm’s first day in this school and already Mike was getting a call about the Kid being involved in a fight.
The Kid had been strongly against the idea of enrolling in the local middle school in the first place.
“I’m well over a hundred years old! I don’t need to go to school!” he argued.
“You know that, and I know that,” said Mike. “But you still look like you’re only fourteen, and the truant officer has already paid us a visit to make sure we get you in school. So until we can move out of this city and start fresh elsewhere, you’ll have to go to school.”
Being an Immortal has its pros and cons. Not aging can be thought of as a pro, but the Kid didn’t like being treated like a child just because he looked like one.
“I’ll be bored out of my gourd in those classes!” he griped.
“Please, Kid, just do this. Think of it as working undercover, if it’ll help. You’ll pretend to be an ordinary fourteen year old student when in reality you’ll be working as my assistant looking for possible criminal activities going on in that school.”
The Kid glared. “This bites!”
But he went to school. And now Mike had to pay a visit to the principal regarding a fight.
When Mike arrived at the school the receptionist gave him a warm bright smile.
“Go right in, Mr. Barker. Principal Jenkins is expecting you.”
Mike entered the office. Kid Czarcasm was seated in a chair and he looked very bored.
“Hi, Mike,” said the Kid.
“Hi, Kid.” Mike peered closely at the Kid. No scratches, no marks, no visible signs of any injuries.
“The principal said you were involved in a fight.”
“I was only defending myself. I didn’t choose to be dragged into a fight.”
“I figured it was something like that.”
Principal Jenkins cleared his throat.
“Ahem! Thank you for coming, Mr. Barker. Please have a seat.”
After exchanging the expected pleasantries, the principal got to the point.
“Mr. Barker, your ward Jesse was seen fighting with another boy in the hallway.”
Jesse Carter was the name Kid Czarcasm used when he enrolled in the school.
“Defending himself isn’t the same as fighting,” said Mike. “I’m sure you understand that. And I’d like to hear Jesse’s account of what happened before I leave this office.”
“Of course. Go ahead, Jesse. Tell us what happened.”
“I was putting my books in my locker when suddenly someone grabbed me by the back of my collar, yanked me and slammed me into the lockers on the other side of the hallway. It was some big kid, at least a foot taller than me.”
“Larry Thompson. Then what happened?” asked the principal.
“I asked him what the heck he thought he was doing. He said he was going to pound me into the ground because his girlfriend said I was hot and she wanted to do me. Heck, I don’t know who his girlfriend is! It’s only my first day, and I haven’t had time to meet any girls here!”
Mike smiled. The Kid was very good-looking, so naturally he would attract the attention of the females in this school. First day at school and the Kid probably has a huge fangirl following, thought Mike.
“So then what happened?” asked Mike.
“I defended myself.”
“Mr. Barker, Larry Thompson had to be taken to the hospital to be treated for his injuries.”
“Serves him right for picking on someone smaller than he is. I certainly hope that Thompson boy has learned his lesson.”
“Is that all you have to say about this?”
“What else is there to say? Starting a fight is a lousy way to make a new kid feel welcome, don’t you agree?”
“Well, there’s also the matter of Jesse’s disrespectful manner of speaking to his history teacher.”
“Excuse me?”
“Mr. Moore is Jesse’s history teacher. He said Jesse argued with him regarding some historical events they covered in class. At first Mr. Moore was surprised and delighted to see one of his students actually participating in class. But Jesse argued so strongly about it that one would almost think Jesse had actually witnessed those historical events in person. Mr. Moore disagreed with Jesse, and that’s when your ward used a slur in class.”
“A slur? What slur exactly?”
“A vulgar one. We can’t have students speaking in a disrespectful manner to our teachers.”
“What slur exactly?” Mike repeated.
“I called him an asshat,” said the Kid.
Meanwhile outside in the hallway the new science teacher was headed toward the office to fill out some necessary paperwork.
Mike and the Kid both felt the buzz. They stared at each other.
The buzz.
The buzz felt by Immortals when another Immortal is nearby.
Friend or foe? Mike and the Kid did not know if they were in danger of losing their heads. And neither had brought their swords because the school had metal detectors at all entrances.
The new science teacher standing outside the principal’s office felt the buzz.
He stared at the door of the principal’s office. Then he calmly finished filling out his paperwork and headed for his classroom.
All in good time, thought the science teacher, whoever you are.
For there can be only one.
TO BE CONTINUED
