The Declaration of the Constitution

We, the white male people, in order to establish a more perfect onion(the Vidalia), proclaim that all men(straight, white, male) have created Equal(aspartame) and have certain non-alien rights, including arming ourselves against Lite, Libertarians, and pursuants of happiness.

John Henry

If you had left out Libertarians I would have laughed my ass off.

Okay there son. . . now repeat after me . . . 9 . . . 1 . . . 1 . . . C’mon now, trust me . . . they’ll do the rest . . . but you have to dial first . . .
Dr. Watson
“Not licensed for this sort of thing.”

It’s the “non-alien rights” part that’s got me, because otherwise this thing has Martian written all over it.

Right as always, Nemo.

Marvin the Martian for President!!

Maybe I should make that my sig.

Americans have the right to bare arms–and I, for one, will shoot anybody who tries to make me wear long-sleave shirts.

We also have the right to be free from unreasonable seizures under the Fourth Amendment–if I ever develop epilepsy, I’m suing.

Right you are, MysterEcks.

And whatever happened to freedom of screech and the right to dissemble?