I am not here to particularly excoriate the Lions for their monumental choke Sunday against the hapless Bears.
How was this not to be expected? If I’d have been in Vegas this week, I’d have bet my house and the neighbor’s house on the Bears getting 10 points. Whoever came up with that betting line doesn’t know much about Lions history.
The Pontiac Pussies collectively wet themselves and whimper for their mommies any time anything has ever been truly expected of them. Such as beating a 4-11 team at home to make the playoffs.
I think I speak for all true Lions fans who have been driven to near homicidal insanity by this team when I say, “Good. I’m glad they didn’t make it.”
Did any true football fan want this team clogging up the playoffs like a post-holiday turd overflowing a toilet? Did anyone want the Lions keeping the Rams out of the playoffs? At least there’s an offense to see there.
The Lions played great defense the second half of the year – until it counted in the last game. Then they let a running back named James Allen (who?) do his Jim Brown impression. All of a sudden Cade McNown, the player who many Bears players said they would quit if he started this week, he’s that shitty, looks like Johnny Unitas.
The Lions offense can’t do one thing right with regularity. Not ONE.
In the mid-90s, the Lions had the number one offense in the NFL. And they went nowhere because their coach and defense sucked. Then they got a coach, and they went nowhere because both their offensive and defensive personnel had key weaknesses. Now they have a defense, and they go nowhere because their offense sucks.
How fucked up is that? They always find a way.
This franchise has won one playoff game since 1957. So when you Bengals fans (who have been to two Super Bowls) and fans of other sad-sack organizations start your crying, don’t expect any sympathy from moi.
Detroit Free Press sports columnist Mitch Albom sums it up nicely in his column today:
What more need be said? Any Cubs fans wanna go get drunk?
