Huh, I consider those advantages. If I lose something being by myself, I can always find it.
I have this Blackhead of Doom, a large pore on the top of my back. When it fills up, my back hurts. Living alone means not having someone who can get rid of the Blackhead of Doom.
I understand and sympathize with you completely. The biggest downside to living alone is that you’re alone and no matter how much you tell yourself that living alone rocks, it doesn’t really rock at all, does it? And no matter how much you love your cat or dog, there’s no substitute for human companionship. Reaching out good vibes to you for this holiday season.
As Chris Rock says:
“When you’re in a relationship, you want to kill your partner. When you’re alone, you want to kill yourself. I say better HER than ME!”
I would say the downside of living alone is that if you want to do something with other people, you have to make plans and coordinate stuff. With my wife or even room mates, if we’re just sitting around bored one of us can go “I’m bored…lets go see a movie / grab a beer / go to dinner to that place across the street”. When you live alone, it becomes a mental cost/benefit analysis of is it worth it to drive across town to meet up with everyone for one beer.
For me, I don’t really get bored or lonely. And the few times I’ve had roommates, it just made me anxious. We didn’t end up hanging out together anyway.
The worst part for me is just that if something needs to get done, you have to do it. Especially noticeable in a house with no landlord.
I think the absolute low point of living alone for me was when my dog got skunked at 2 AM. I have a lot of close friends and family but just no one that I could call at 2 AM on a Wednesday to ask them to please go to Wal Mart and get me a case of peroxide and meet me in the back yard.
I managed, tho. Everything else (even Christmas lights) pales in comparison now.
You only get to have a meaningful conversation once or a few times a week.
If you’re really sick, you still have to do all the chores/errands.
Here’s my list of the downsides of solo life:
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I have my kids on weekends, so I’m only alone Sunday night to Friday evening.
I rather enjoy it compared to being married. When I leave the house to get groceries there’s no time clock on me now as there once was. It’s amazingly peaceful to wander around the grocery store(s) and just idly browse for items I might be interested in, instead of sticking to a list and a time limit. Why yes, she was a control freak.
My largest problem is, it’s a pain trying to get someone to drive me to and from a medical procedure where I won’t be able to drive myself home - for example, a colonoscopy where they simply refuse to give me a local anesthetic. (I had to put it off for over a year because the one person I could find that could do it suddenly discovered that he had to stay home and watch his kids that day during one of their week-long school breaks.)
Fortunately, both of my root canals and my one tooth extraction were done with locals, and I didn’t feel enough pain to affect my being able to drive home.
Same deal with me. I don’t really find there any significant downsides. It is much less work and stress overall too. My ex is an insanely hard worker but also insists on doing everything in the hardest and most stressful way possible. I am not like that. I have most of my life automated now. I don’t need anyone to help keep track of finances, pay bills or fix things because I either have all of those tasks automated, have a quick way to deal with them or simply don’t screw things up in the first place. I also have my kids every weekend and we have good systems in place to ensure that we are having actual fun together time rather than just worry about how to appease the resident dictator.
When you spontaneously yell “what the fuck is wrong with you…you crazy assed bitch?” people think your the crazy one.
Well said.
I am divorced and live alone. But am not lonely.
Come and go as I please, make last minute plans, no rush to get home, enjoy every minute of every day, because I’m doing what I want, when I want.
Sometimes I get a coffee at a local shop, drive to the waterfront, and watch the sun come up. Beautiful. The sounds of birds, the wind in the trees. Just taking it all in.
I have learned to appreciate so much. Everything is beautiful in its own way. LOL, to quote a song.
Sometimes a friend is there with me. Most times not. It’s all good.
When I was married, I was a dog on a leash, always wrong, and never quite good enough.
I know this is not the “marriage vs divorce” thread, but that’s the catalyst that got me living by myself.
The benefits of living alone far outweigh any downsides, in my opinion.
No one told me how badly I was snoring and gasping for breath. Had to wait until I was visiting family to get the news.
Now I have a sleep exam scheduled and hopefully a CPAP is in my future.
My big problem living alone is when the dermatologist decides to cut something off my back, and I need to change the dressing on it. I used to work at a company that provided a nurse on site, so I’d just stop by at the beginning and end of the day. No such luck these days.
That Don Guy: I use a medical companion service*, which is kind of a paid “friend” and cab driver all rolled into one. It’s handy for me since I live alone, my friends all work full-time, and my family is out of state.
They never do, the inconsiderate little shits.
I love being able to read in bed all day if I want to, or to eat cereal for dinner without anyone complaining, or forget to comb my hair one day, or binge-read a novel for two solid days, or just go for a walk without a time limit or destination.
**Digital is the new Analog **-- yeah, that would be tough. You can never reach the area the dr has worked on.
*“medical companion service” sounds kind of dodgy and dirty to me, but it isn’t. They’re legit, because people have jobs and limited leave time, and can’t take off work to ferry others to appointments. It’s brilliant, really.
“one less bell to answer…
…one less egg to fry…”
Oh God I love that song and always have.
It is sooooo melancholy. I loved it as a kid and completely forgot about it till I heard it on the radio a year or so ago. It is a marvellous song.
(Pretty sure this is lip-synched.)
My dogs absolutely refuse to take the opposite argument and debate the issues of the day with me.
They probably don’t refill your ice cube tray, either.
You don’t need a husband. You just need to find a local handyman. Craig and Angie both have lists these days, I hear.
When I need to take a vehicle in to be worked on there’s no one handy to pick me up when I drop it off or drop me off when I pick it up. I don’t have anyone close by that I would impose on except in a dire emergency. When I lived in town I could do the half hour walk to and from the dealership that I had work on it, now I live pretty far out in the country.
Many a married mother would say that their husband, even if he has other faults, can always say they are a built-in babysitter which a single Mom doesnt have.