Let’s play The Dozens-- otherwise known as snapping, cracking or goofing on-- and exemplified by yo momma jokes. This messageboard is calling out for a good snapping.
This board is so slow, I had to ride my snail in reverse in order to keep up.
If ugly was bricks, the new design would be it’s own projects. The Straight Dope Houses. Where drive-by posting is so common they had to bullet-proof the “reply to post” button.
I’m not saying Great Debaters are thickheaded but before I open that forum I make sure I’m at escape velocity-- 'cause boy can you get stuck in there going around and around and around. . .
In my opinion you are all about as humble as Muhommad Ali and The Rock’s love child-- Madonna Amin Dada.
Yo, Biggirl! You so stupid that the signifying monkey signifies that you stupid motherf*cking signifying ain’t like much mo’ than a Semafo’ code!
Yo mamma so stupid she trip over the cord of a codeless phone!
(Note, not making fun of Black people, I am taking from a short story called “The Singifying Monkey,” a slave story about signifying.)
The Pit is so rough, there are no hamsters, just rats.
MPSIMS is so big, it plays hopscotch like this: New York, Ireland, Canary Islands, Russia, Japan.
You dopers are such losers that your Rice Crispies won’t even talk to you.
It looks like the best part of you ran down the crack of your mama’s keyboard and ended up as a sticky, hairy mess underneath the space bar!
What are you lookin’ at, four eyes! You think you just posted a funny f*ckin’ response or something?
Your posts are so dumb even Cecil himself loses an IQ point just reading it!
If double-posting were a weapon, you’d be a frickin’ machine gunner!
You’re rants are so mild-salsa, you can’t even get down with your own O.P.! [sub]yeah, you know me![/sub]
Tripler
R. Lee Ermey is a major influence in my life. 
You type so slow, the hamsters are yawnin’
You got so many typos in your post, Microsoft comin’ out with a DUMASS button to replace spellcheck in your honor.
Your post is so pointless, a herd of porcupine couldn’t help it.
Last time you did anything good in the pit, it was usin’ Right Guard.™
That logic is so lame, you gotta type with crutches.
You’re so deep in leet, even the hackers can’t figure you out.
You’ve started so many poop threads, your CPU’s got a Glade Plug-In on its Pentium.
I looked inside the server, and the hamsters were running around in little leather suits and exposing each other’s breasts.
I ain’t sayin’ your mama’s trollin’, but her computer was made by MinnKota.
I’m gonna Pit you so hard, you’ll look like you lit a Clydesdale fart.
Whoa! Now that’s cold! Or at least soggy … 
Sure, you fought ignorance. But you lost!
Yo’ dude, you hate Bush so much your friends think you’re gay.
Yo mama’s so old, she carries a 1920s-style death ray for self-defense.
You’re so boring, Eve wouldn’t write about you in her journal.
You’re so dumb that when people start trying to list smart things you’ve ever done, Opal gets lonely.
Your posts are so full of fallacies they make Lekatt look like a professor.