Ok, so I found this cartridge outside my station. It looked about the size of a DS game cartridge and I figured I would try. I gave it to babygirl and let her put it in. The DS linked to my secured home network and showed a calming blue with the words, “Don’t Panic”
Lights on the screen started flashing. I got a towel and was ready to begin, but I don’t know what to do with this thing.
Any suggestions would be welcome.
SSG Schwartz
Ask it where you can get a Babelfish on Earth…
Can you ask it things verbally or do you have to use the touch screen to search?
I just tried, and I do have to use the pen, and it download a huge .pdf
I am searching for Babelfish right now.
SSG Schwartz
Please don’t push that button.
Okay, please don’t push that button again.
Avoid the temptation to look up anything on the triple-breasted whore of Eroticon VI.
Go out the window, not the door.
Get a bottle of buffered anelgeisc. Trust me. You’re going to need it.
So… it have anything on traffic patterns today? Where’s the construction going to be?
Or Vogon poetry. Whatever you do, don’t read the poetry.
Did you bring your towel?
And remember: Pocket lint can be surprisingly useful.
We’ve got our towels, but have we downed several pints and grabbed some peanuts? That’s the best bit about space travel 
You obviously weren’t listening…
I wouldn’t worry about it. Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.
And watch out for the zebra crossings.
And I was wondering what all the thunderstorms as of late were about. It’s just the Vogons getting the planet nice and wet so when they blow it up, it won’t be quite so much fire. Sneaky Vogons. I think I’m gonna go home and have some beer and peanuts now, and snuggle up with my towel.
MT
Feed the sandwich to the dog. Trust me on this.
Stranger
Be nice to the dolphins.
PANIC
*Stress and nervous tension are now serious social problems in all parts of the Galaxy, and it is in order that this situation should not in any way be exacerbated that the following facts will now be revealed in advance.
The planet in question is in fact the legendary Magrathea.
The deadly missile attack shortly to be launched by an ancient automatic defence system will result merely in the breakage of three coffee cups and a micecage, the bruising of somebody’s upper arm, and the untimely creation and sudden demise of a bowl of petunias and an innocent sperm whale.
In order that some sense of mystery should still be preserved, no revelation will yet be made concerning whose upper arm sustained the bruise. This fact may safely be made the subject of suspense since it is of no significance whatsoever.*
Stranger
Yes please.