I used to date someone like that. She’d tell me that a month from Friday we’re having dinner with Ruth and Dave and Jenny and Bill and Arlene and Joe and Francine and Mark, at Jenny and Bill’s place. That Friday would roll around and I’d ask whose house we were going to, and she’d fly off the handle, saying that I never listened to her.
See, this is why people shouldn’t have kids.
As an old married couple, we have developed shorthand for this behavior.
Decades ago we were on vacation. I tripped on a paving stone, fell and scraped my knee, and proceeded to bitch at my husband for it. “What? I didn’t make you trip!” he said. “Well, you were walking too far away from me and weren’t there to catch me!” <incredulous look> We both realized how silly that was and laughed.
To this day when something minor but unfortunate happens [broken dish, lost item, etc.] I generally tell him it’s all his fault and he replies “…and I wasn’t there to catch you.”
That’s really sweet!
And this is why you are an old married couple and not two divorced people.
Well done.
I’d never hear the end of that, either. Though so far, I’ve avoided actually saying it !
Ah yes…the “it’s your fault because you didn’t stop me” line of reasoning.
My solution, from years of painful experience:
Me: Do I need to remember these details?
SO: Of course!
Me: OK, I’ll write it on the calendar. Please let me know if any of the details change.
This works pretty well, although I have also learned to write in pencil, because invariably details do change. If SO doesn’t tell me the changes, then I have the calendar to fall back on: This is what you told me, when did it change?
Roddy
That’s a good idea, but I don’t think it would have worked in this case. If I had to write it down, that means I wasn’t listening to her, which means I didn’t really love her.
She had some kind of weird expectations for the relationship.
I hate to break this to you, but there was a baby in there. 
Husband and I have an ongoing argument. It started this way, though I have long forgotten the context of the original conversation (probably about heartburn):
**Husband: ** “…and we all agree that the esophagus is a tube…”
**Me **(cutting him off): “No we don’t. It is not a tube, and furthermore I assert that there is nothing remotely tubelike about it.”
H: “What? It’s totally a tube. It doesn’t get much more tubelike than an esophagus!”
M: “Nonsense. You clearly don’t know anything about esophaguses or tubes.”
I was just being contrary, of course, to be funny. But I have never allowed him to convince me that the esophagus is a tube. To this day, whenever the word esophagus is mentioned, I’ll mutter something about “…not a tube…” and he will say “totally a tube”.
Or if we’re discussing some point of fact and one of us proves their point to the other’s satisfaction, the “loser” of that arguement will say something like “Oh yeah? Well…well…at least I know that the esophagus (is/is not) a tube! So there!”
Husband and I have fun discussions.
I still see some ambiguity here. You quote the original argument, starting with:
Did you know for sure which onesie she was referring to? Was she holding one of the onesies at the time, and do you remember which one(sie)?
Also, she hasn’t proven which onesie came from which source, so you may have been right all along. I would suspect that the onesie from the bottom of the laundry basket had been there longer, and was, in fact, the one that had been abandoned by her brother.
My spell-checker is not recognizing “onesie”. Anybody else having that issue? Maybe I’ll start a poll.
I’ve forwarded this thread to my wife for her to read.
When I get home tonight, we’ll argue over it.
After reading every post in this thread, I’m still not sure what a onesie is.
What? Why are you giving me that look?
Cite! And not Wikipedia!
Baby clothing, full body one piece:
A few weeks ago, I posted a thread on the IMHO board seeking advice about how to deal with my boyfriend who I thought was depressed and in denial about it (among other things). One of my complaints was that at least twice a day, sometimes more often, he’d start venting about the current political situation in the US, how the globalists are poised to assume world dominion, the 2nd Amendment is about to be repealed, yadda, yadda. I got some really good advice, both about my own possible codendepency issues and about how his world view may be odd but not necessarily evidence of depression.
Long story short: After thinking about it, I decided to let him have his world view (very gracious of me, don’t you think?) but to also find a kind, humorous way to let him know I didn’t want to hear about it anymore. I settled on gently saying, “Honey, it’s time for you to go to your happy place.”
The first time I said it, I thought he was going to fall off the couch because he was laughing so hard. Since then, we’ve shortened it to just calling out “Happy place!” delivered with “the look.” He uses it, quite rightly, on me sometimes.
Things are a lot more relaxed at my house these days.
I get it, she thought that every word out of her mouth should be completely and totally memorable to you if you “really” listened to her and if you “really” loved her. The fact that you didn’t instantly memorize some complex set of facts proves that one or the other or both are not true.
I’m glad for your sake that this is a “used to date” situation. I don’t think I could deal with that level of irrationality for very long.
Roddy
You’re both crazy, but she’s crazy and RIGHT.
I remember that thread. Congratulations on creating a solution that works so well.