'Fess up. And let us in on the consequences if any.
Mine was a small can of air freshener I swiped from a gas station while my dad was filling up on the way home from singing in church one Sunday. I tore the packaging open and slipped it into my pocket. The attendant saw me and ratted me out to my dad.
Why did I take it? I have no idea. Completely pointless theft.
Consequence: my dad decided the reason I stole it was that I didn’t have enough spending money so he raised my allowance.
A packet of tic-tacs when I was about four. The reason? I needed Bat-Pills when I was playing Batman. Man, I loved that show.
Consequence: mom found 'em, took 'em from me, and gave me a nice shiny red butt.
Used underwear out of a dryer at college because I was too cheap/lazy to do my own laundry.
Consequence: I wore someone else’s used underwear. Ewwww. (At least it was CLEAN, though…)
A D&D book. Twice.
Consequence: I own two more books that I’ll never use.
Funny, I stole tic-tacs as well. But I was a kid then, didn’t know the concept of currency. Besides, the little plastic case of the tic-tacs was broken, so I was actually doing the shop a favour 
Pizza Panzarottis from a grocery store. First time stealing anything, ever.
Consequence: Arrested, but not charged. Shit scared out of my 15 yr old self. Scared straight actually. Didn’t do anything illegal (underage drinking, drugs) until it was either legal or I was in University. Oh yah, and 2 weeks grounding, during which time I tried desparately to regain the trust of my parents.
I’d probably be a burnt out, uneducated loser if not for those panzarottis.
A large bottle of bubble bath. I have no clue why I took it, it was just something I felt I wanted at the time, and well, I realized that the instance of stealing dumb things was just an act of rebellion against my mother when I was angry with her.
When I was a sophmore in college, I stole a bottle of contact lens cleaner from a Meijers by my school. It was stupid, and I just wanted to go out with the money I had rather than buying the cleaner I really needed.
I was caught while leaving the store, and told them that I had just forgot the cleaner was in my pocket. They sent me a letter and I paid my $54.
The worst part of the whole thing for me was that my roommate walked out of the store with stolen eye shadow in her pocket. When the guy walked up to catch me, my roommate asked which one of us he was talking to and he picked me.
I stole the key ring (not the key) from a Golf Cart in Biloxi, MS. The key ring had the logo of a famous type of Lite Beer which happened to be my favorite beer so I took it.
I figured it was good advertising for Phillip Morris.
Tic-Tacs must be popular with kids. I remember stealing a thing of them when I was about 7 or 8. Well, I didn’t technically STEAL them, I just ate them all and left the empty carton in the store.
When I was 14, I stole a traffic cone from a street corner in Montgomery, PA, with the help of two accomplices. (I spotted the cone, one friend reached out the window of the third person’s car and grabbed it.) It was a cool traffic cone, as they go…it was white with red stripes.
Consequences: none. The guy who drove the getaway car felt guilty later, and threw the cone onto the top of the picnic pavilion in Montgomery’s main park.
I stole a romance novel from a bookstore at the mall. I don’t remember why, since I had access to copious amounts of porn at the time (teen years). I guess the porn lacked something, like, say, romance. The book was as lame as you’d expect. I think I masturbated once while reading it and then disposed of it.
Consequences: None. They’ll never catch me… because I’m fucking innocent.
A grape at the grocery store when I was six. I didn’t even know it was stealing until my twin brother saw me chewing and harshly told me, "That’s stealing!" He then promptly ratted me out to my parents. They didn’t seem to mind. I was mortified, however. Well, as mortified as a six-year-old can be.
My older brother, however, has quite the list of stolen items: stop signs, town signs, traffic cones and plaques. And that’s just the stuff he told me about.
A 6-ft tall promotional cardboard cut-out of Shamu.
We were at the enlisted club at Brooks AFB in San Antonio, TX and as my two buddies and I were leaving, we saw this thing by the door and just had to have it for some reason. The base’s security police stopped us about 10 ft out the door. The club management didn’t care (in fact Bruce thought it was kinda funny) but our 1st Sergeant didn’t like our names being in a police report very much and we were banned from the club for a few weeks and made to do all the crap details around the squadron for 30 days.
Two weeks after the initial incident, we were back at the club and made off with Shamu a 2nd time, and he had a home in the corner of my dorm room for the next two years.
When I was about 10, I shoplifted a sweet from a stores’ pick-and-mix section. I got very excited and rushed round the corner t opartake of my ill gotten gains.
Unfortunately it was a COFFEE flavoured choc, and I HATE those.
Well, you live and learn. (Actually I didnt , I just went on to nick more stuff from elsewhere, but there ya go.)
Oh dear, where do I start?
A shirt and some candy at a mall one night after it had closed.
A “Lane Closed” sign from Wal*Mart.
A price marker thing from Wal*Mart, y’know, one of those flippy dealies with numbers on them that they use to show prices.
An “End Here” sign. (Put at one time by the toilet. Get it? END (goes) HERE? Ha.)
A “No Golfing” sign. To remind people not to golf. In case they wanted to. In my bedroom.
Traffic cone. Of course.
Shopping cart. Because it was there.
A can of soda.
A Wet Floor sign.
Damn. I was a one-man crime wave come to think of it. 
(And no consequences, save for the occassional pang of guilt.)
Laurie’s heart.
A rock.
It was a shiny sparkly pretty hunk of quartz from the rock garden of a model home my best friend’s parents dragged me to.
Doesn’t get much lamer than that.
I used to steal candy and soda like a fiend.
The stupidest things I stole, I think, would be that lame-ass copy of the Necronomicon that you can pick up at any Walden books. I was hard core, man.
Consequences:* The sleeping come and waken, but in their sleep they devour me. Nebo and Neharlehotep, the beast with many eyes… the gates cannot save me… Nnnn thuga! Bac thugga! Io! Io! *
Traffic cone has been mentioned a couple of times. Was that good enough for my friends? No. It has to be one of the Large Orange traffic barrels complete with flashing orange light.
You would think it would be easy enough but when there is already two people in the back seat of a two door '82 Honda Accord there isn’t much room left for a 35 gallon Orange barrel still with its contents of two 25lb sand bags.
I still remember the look on the policemans face as I sat there holding the barrel with the Orange light flashing on and off.
God we were dumb :rolleyes: