In spired by this thread, what have the Dopers snaked from the unwitting in thier life time?
I was mostly a candy and action figures kind of guy, though once I did steal a fire extinguisher from school and empty it into the gym. Messy!
Let’s hear it, ya bunch of criminals.
I once bought a car radio off someone I was going to a class with that I thought may have been stolen. I had no qualms about it because I was unemployed at the time and it was replacing a radio that was stolen from me. The radio I bough was junk but it worked most of the tiume, but the cassette part was bad. A few months later this radio was stolen from me.
I stole a Yosemite pen (it had the Yosemite logo printed on it) from a desk at Yosemite Lodge, in Yosemite National Park. I swiped it when no one was looking. I have an insatiable desire for Yosemite pens. I collect them. Since the pen is worth probably 15 cents or something, I’m not losing any sleep over it.
I stole an arm of a movie theatre seat
Mostly books candy tapes …small stuff althouhg once we cleared out a convience store of candy just about
Actually the only time I was even caught is when I changed my mind and put something back …
When I was about 8 or 9, I took a Baby Ruth bar from Shore’s Drug Store. It didn’t taste nearly as good as it should have. I regretted it for the longest time, especially after Shore’s went out of business - shame on me.
A 5x3 floormat from Dennys
Hearts, time, kisses, glances, and equipment from the supply cabinet at work.
I have stolen the hearts of atleast 5 females from other guys.
And some stuff from previuos places of employment, minor things.
I stole 2 green bell peppers once, on the Trans-Siberian Express. Crossing Russia, the dining car operation hours varied as we passed through time zones, and I couldn’t seem to get it right–I kept showing up right after it closed. Returning to my cabin, hungry and disappointed, I saw a box of vegetables stacked between the cars. I snagged two bell peppers, ran to my bunk, and ate them raw. Very tasty.
As far as I remember, that’s the only real theft I’ve committed. Does this mean I’m going to hell?
In primary school we had these little sets of figurines that we used for class activities and free time. We had a box full of tiny little scottie dogs that were maybe a centimetre wide, and came in three colours - silver, gold and bronze. I loved them and would play with them as often as I could, and one day I swiped a little bronze one (I figured it was worth the least :p).
I felt incredibly guilty. For hours and hours, it was all I could think of, and I kept wondering whether they counted out the dogs every day to make sure nobody had taken them. The principal of the school pulled me over the next day and I was absolutely convinced that I had been discovered. It turned out that she wanted to congratulate me for some reason or other. That day, I went home to look for the dog to return it, only to find that I’d lost the damn thing.
More recently, my friend accidentally stole something from a department store. Her backpack hooked onto a bikini top as we were walking to the exit, and the alarm went off as soon as we left. Of course, we didn’t realise that we were the cause, and were about 10 metres out of the store before I noticed the top and hanger attached to her bag. We ran inside, slipped it back on the rack and left as quickly as possible.
And so ended my life of crime.
A poster from a movie theater. It was advertizing some movie, and the big headline caption was: “Poor White Trash, See How They Live!”
I was in the Air Force at the time, and one of my roomies and I swiped that poster and used masking tape to attach it above the entrance to our room in the barracks.
The First Sergeant saw it and brought the Commanding Officer to admire our handiwork. Needless to say, the Powers That Be were not amused!
Silently away into the night.
Thousands of dollars used to buy cocaine. This was decades ago. My past is a wee bit checkered. So’s my present, but in a more benign way.
I also took candy as a child. Once I gave stolen Good & Plenties to a diabetic in Reno just to watch him go into shock.
My SO and I were in Wal-Mart one day and for the hell of it she decided try on some sun hats. The ones made of straw or wicker type material. We finished up the rest of our shopping and checked out. As we were walking to the car she was walking in front of me and I noticed that she still had the hat on. I didn’t think much of it because I wasn’t with her at the check out and I figured it was an impulse buy. It wasn’t until we got home that she realized that she inadvertantly had stolen the hat by forgetting to take it off. No one stopped her as she walked out the door so she didn’t realize anything was wrong. I wasn’t about to return to the store just to return it and I told her I would the next day on my way home from work. The hat is still in the back seat of the car.
I’m surfing the SD right now while I’m at work.
Any questions?
Once on my way to class I saw a magnetic sign on an elevator that said in red and white, “Out of Service for Maintenance.” I thought to myself, “I must have this cool sign.” I vowed to snatch it after class.
After class I walked by the elevator. Someone had already snatched it; it was gone. I was sad.
When I returned to my apartment, it was on the refrigerator! My roommate had seen it and stolen it before I could!
Immoral, criminally-minded birds of a feather…
My one year old stole candy last night! We were at the grocers and I had him in the buggy while I picked up a few things. I browse for a while and then get what I need, chat with the cashier, pay for my purchases and push lil’guy out the door and all the way across the lot to my car. I’m pulling him out of the buggy and realize he’s holding a HUGE tootsie roll, this thing was at least a foot long! I don’t know how I managed to not see it, or how he got it past a cashier, a bagger, and a guard at the door, but my god was that funny. I kind of just went “Eh?” and he held it up in the air and started waving it around, grinning like a fool and shouting “dZat, dZat”.
“Yes, Phil, I see that.” 
bella
Hmm, I inadvertantly stole an eyeliner pencil once. I had a cart and a ton of shopping and I placed the eyeliner in the “seat” area of the cart. When I checked out, I didn’t see it to place it on the counter. When I was loading things in my car, I saw it and thought it had fallen out of a bag. Later, I realized…Oh, well, I’m sure I’ve lost plenty of money to that store, so a $2 eyeliner is not going to break them.
At one of my student assisant jobs in college, I worked in the office of an academic department. There was a desk just for the SAs. In one of the drawers was a tiny book titled “Salaryman in Japan.” Written in perfect Engrish, it was a handbook describing the life of the typical corporate drone (“salaryman”) in Japan. It was laid out sort of like a comic book, with lots of hilarious illustrations – some intentionally so, some not. (The drawing of someone’s pager going off in a theater and embarassing him had the pager going, “pee! pee! pee!”)
I took it with me when I left the job.
I also got talked into shoplifting candy with some friends in elementary school, at a time when I was trying desperately to fit in. I got called into the principal’s office the next day and interrogated about it, and I lied my ass off (transparently, probably).
I also have some items in my office that belonged to my former employer. They weren’t being used, but I use them all the time.