The Evil Of IKEA

They strike again!
How can we punish these Mad Swedes? Are they part of the Axis of Evil?

Post your more imaginative Dooms here.

Bacon wallpaper and a free pork chop for any purchase over $15?

Hey, at least we gave them tasteful “Böllerby” coffins fashioned from genuine Scandinavian fiberboard, for only a nominal charge.

And as for revenge, you’d think that all these re-runs of “Full House” would be enough. What are you, some kind of monsters?

We could force them to sleep on those combination bunk bed/torture racks they sell. To further ensure the torture, we could force them to sleep on the mattresses/concrete slabs they sell to go with the bunk bed/torture racks.

They’re never to have watches or chocolate again.

Oh, and no Ricola!


Suicide shoppers?

Umm… :confused:

Halfway to a great line. Work on it CK! Don’t disappoint us here. Some of us count on you.

Perhaps Mockingbird has confused his Swiss with his Swedes again.
It has suddenly occured to me that I have been replying to a lot of threads right after or very soon after Mockingbird today. I am not stalking you, I swear. Just don’t look behind you is all I’m sayin’.

What can I say…that’s all I had. I’m a half way only type.

OOOPS! Dropped the soap.

Now I’ll have to bend down to pick it up!


Joking aside, that’s some pretty messed up business. In fact, it sounds a lot like shopping the day after Thanksgiving in the States.

Were they trampled by worn out, day-after-holiday, competitive American women, by any chance?

I’m wondering a bit about this comment myself. Are you somehow confusing Sweeden with Switzerland?

JEDDAH, Rueters - In the wake of the recent death of 3 shoppers at the grand opening of an IKEA store here, the Islamic Front Against Products With Unpronouncable Names has issued a communique claiming responsibility.

“We of the Middle East are declaring a jihad against those corporations that insist on bringing their umlauts and other non-Arabic characters into our realm,” said one unidentified spokesman for IFAPWUN in a statement issued to Al-Jezeer Thursday afternoon. “The death of these YAPPIES (young, Arab professionals) is just the start of the terror. Beware, trendy people everywhere!”

Representatives of IKEA could not be reached for comment. A woman answering the phone said everyone in mangement were either meeting with people with MFAs in Arabic Languages, or in a sauna.

SA - PRIIIIIISE!!! :wink:

Well, we already know they are responsible for Project: Mayhem(Which you do *not * ask questions about), and now this.

I think it’s clear the threat they pose.