If a third-trimester fetus could talk, what would it say? How would it describe its environment? What kinds of thoughts would it have? What kinds of external things (like motion or sound) would it experience, and how would it explain them?
There’s actually a song about that:
??? What possible referents could it have? It would be conscious of motion, of sound, and just possibly of light (a dim red light shining through the mother’s abdomen.) What could is have to say? “Stop all that bouncing! And I hate that music!”
Put yourself in a dark cave…and forget everything you’ve ever heard, seen, or learned. What is there to talk about?
They experience quite a bit of sound- enough to tell people and music apart. They can taste different foods in the amniotic fluid, and show a preference later for familiar tastes. They perceive some light and dark. They also feel movement, and are lulled or shocked by different motions.
The problem, though, is that they don’t have much of a sense of self, which is going to make any communication unlikely. A fetus is going to feel at one with its world, undifferentiated from its surroundings. It wont have a difference between what is happening outside of it, and what is internal. There will be little to no memory or self reflection. Just constant sensation passing through.
My wife and I were told that the womb is as loud as a vacuum cleaner to the fetus.
Maybe that’s why the dog is so scared of the vacuum; she’s reliving birth trauma.
Actually, a fetus is all knowing from the instant of the first heartbeat. They have encoded in their tiny brian all knowledge of life, the universe and everything. 42 is the mere beginning of what they know. A fetus could hold a simlultaneous conversation with each of the great minds in history and put them all to shame.
As it turns out, oxygen is the ultimate anecdote to omnicience. At their first breath, before the newborn can vocalize it’s first word (they know how to speak prior to birth, but amniotic fluid is incompatible with our vocal chords) all knowledge is lost. All that is left is instinct.
The more oxygen the baby breathes, the more permanent the knowledge loss. Unfortunately, not breathing is not a good way to retain knowledge, either. A true catch 22. At some point, most people deveop a tolerance to the effects of oxygen and begin to rebuild their knowledge base. No one has ever come close to completely overcoming the dumbing effects of oxygen. Sadly, most never even begin.
Explains a lot, huh?
Something tells me you’re not a real doctor.
Not even a good impersonation of one.
“Thanks for not donating to Susan G. Komen.”
This is what I was going to say.
A friend had a baby and was told this by the Docs and when the baby would cry for no real reason she shushes him really loudly. At first it was offputting but it really seemed to work. The baby would calm down and go back to staring off into space.
Ah, yes. Since the theory is unassailable (air tight, as it were), attack the credentials. And I got this smart without ever staying at a Holiday Inn Express. 
Somehow I am reminded of Plato’s Cave.
They probably get pretty bored.
Welll…sort of. You’re right that fetuses THINK they’re all knowing. They’re the most arrogant SOBs in the universe, and given the chance they’d tell the greatest minds in history exactly how said minds are wrong. But the great minds wouldn’t be ashamed: they’d be embarrassed. Because the ideas of a fetus are the most incoherent babble outside of a bottle of Dr. Bronner’s TimeCube Shampoo. They believe every conspiracy theory mixed with every drug-induced epiphany. They’re intolerable.