No, I’m a straight guy, so I don’t like to eat anything fruity.
Why does Santa Claus smoke a pipe?
Why does Santa Claus smoke a pipe?
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To relax after laying same.
I see something in the corner, tied up with ribbons. Wonder what it can be?
Don’t mind the Gimp, he’ll be quiet as a mouse, 'til he hears the Safe word.
So, Who’s for Fruitcake?
Count me in! My favorite part of a fruitcake is the nuts.
I seem to have misplaced my yule log!
I seem to have misplaced my yule log!
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It’s lodged in that big crack next to the fireplace[can this serve double duty?]
If not, then:Is it time to whip up that stuff in the punch bowl?
Grampa!! Get a room!
Whip it, stuff it, suck it and lick the bowl clean, baby!
I’d like to get some holly from the bush next door.
I’d like to get some bush from Holly next door.
I wish for peace on Earth, and goodwill towards men.
I’ll be giving goodwill to any man I can find this season.
So, what will you be doing with your relatives?
(Oooh. Quinn, you’re evil.)
I’ll be doing some people, but not with my relatives…
I wonder who’s coming down the chimney?
And have you ever seen then come so fast?
What did you use to stuff the turkey this year?
A nine inch strap-on. But I’ve told you, I’m the only one whose allowed to call him “turkey”.
Have you put up you tree yet?
oops, no. I’ve been too busy erecting other things.
Hey, do I hear reindeer on the roof?
I don’t know, but there’s a nice little ass warming by the fire.
The cat went crazy and destroyed the nativity scene!
Your pussy makes the Baby Jesus cry.
Santa put coal in my stocking.
That what you get, you naughty devil you.
Turkey, ham, or roast beef?
I’ll slam the ham, but I’m always ready to have my beef roasted.
Do you hear what I hear?
Yes, and if it weren’t the holidays, I’d be offended.
Ho, Ho, Ho.
But enough about your relatives.
Here’s some gold, frankincense and myrrh.
Remember kids, you can never have too much lube.
Better get to bed early, or Santa won’t come this year
But we’re still resolving the lawsuits from the last time he came!
How will we get rid of the tree?