The Fabulous Year-end Holiday Double Entendre thread

Who doesn’t love the holiday season? Who doesn’t love sexy double entendres? So who wouldn’t love sexy double entendres at the holiday season, about the holiday season?

The rules: You provide a sexy double entendre in response to the seemingly innocuous statement left by the previous poster.

I’ll start things off:

“Is Santa coming down your chimney this year?”

Yes, and he wants to see my well hung stocking when he gets to the bottom.

(Sorry, maybe I wasn’t too clear: BurnMeUp, you now need to post a seemingly innoucuous statement for the next poster, otherwise the game kinda ends)

Lemme try:

So, have you been naughty or nice this year?

When I’m nice I’m naughty, and when I’m naughty, I’m really, really nice.

Are your chestnuts roasting on an open fire?

D’oh!

Ok here’s my follow up:

Would you taste my egg nog and tell me if it’s creamy enough?

Roasting on an open fire / resting on your open thighs, what’s the difference? Just keep Jack Frost at a safe distance, the little sadist bites.

Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock…

MMMMMMMMM… Santa, it’s so smooth and creamy. And thick!

Wanna lick of my candy cane?

That’s Ms. Candy Kane to you.

How about some smoked spiced ham?

I’d rather have one of your succulant-looking breasts.

I’m dreaming of a white Christmas.

I’m dreaming of a white Christmas.
[/QUOTE]

It won’t be, once the Johnston boys get through with it.

Are they your balls down at the bottom of the tree?

Yeah, my girl likes it when my balls hang low.

My sister is going on a cruise over the holidays.

Is your brother going cruising too?

I’m having a snowball fight tonight.

I’m having a snowball fight tonight.
[/QUOTE]

Do you keep 'em in a little bag until you’re ready to use them?

I’m still looking for my stocking, I know it’s around here somewhere.

Do you keep 'em in a little bag until you’re ready to use them?

I’m still looking for my stocking, I know it’s around here somewhere.
[/QUOTE]

Wow, Santa really filled that stocking full!

Want to untie this ribbon and see what Santa’s got for you?

Why, I’d love to look in your box.

I have champaign ready for New Years.

I have champaign ready for New Years.
[/QUOTE]

And real pain the rest of the year.

Who’s doing the holiday stuffing this year?

Bend over, I’ll show you.

My cat’s breath smells like mistletoe.

That’s why you’re supposed to keep your tongue out of his mouth.
Care for some figgy pudding?

And I know it’s been done, but…I hate to imagine what a snowball fight would look like :eek: