The Fat Gail Center for Hot Boy Studies: The Conundrum: Javier Bardem.

Cafe Society
1

I’m torn on this ladies and gay men and men who are man enough to admit having a man crush on men. I present Javier Bardem, excellent actor no doubt, but is he hot or is he hideous? On the one hand we have the eh, appearance carefully riding the fence of hotness…but then if we find ourselves etching his name into the list of forever HOT, we must consider such atrocities as wearing a speedo and of course, No Country For Old Men Hair Tragedies. So I was ready to put him in the ‘unfortunately for me, not hot’ column, and then there’s This which holds interest because he’s all dressed up, but a little scruffy, great “man’s man” lines in the cheeks…

I, being delicate in nature, have not seen No Country For Old Men, but I’m told that he is wonderful and creepy. Is he creepy HOT? (like a villain you can get behind) or just flat out creepy. Was he good in Love In The Time Of Cholera? I think he may have bad teeth.

I’m torn. I’m TORN. Help me.

2

As a straight man who can nevertheless appreciate the hotness of other men,* I don’t see the hotness. However, he’s Spanish, so I think that might give him a pass on wearing a speedo and being photographed really, really close to another man in a speedo.

  • whatever.
3

gay male here, he does nothing for me.

4

I’m firmly on the fence on this one, too.

5

What’s to be done? I may need to look at some older films from him because I can’t get past that pageboy at all.

6

First picture, he is hot hot hot to me. In No Country he is a booger as he can get. I mean that haircut is like a shot of ice cold water straight on my lap. However, I still think Charlize Theron is hot and she looked like she actually was picked from the ugly tree in Monster.

Yes, more research is needed. To the IMDB!

7

Ok I am going with hot, and further more suggest that Woody Harrelson never stand next to him.

He’s hot in the same way as the guy that played Denny on Grey’s Anatomy.

8

I frequently have man-crushes on guys, but they have to be more “pretty” looking than this guy for that to be possible. The young Jon Voight, for instance, or James Spader in Crash.

Javier Bardem looks like a caveman, in my opinion. So, no.

9

This is telling, because probably 75% of the men on my list of The Fifty Sexiest Men Alive Today are sort of Cavemanny (Till Lindemann, Brian Urlacher, Vin Diesel, Vincent D’Onofrio, Travis Hafner). you’ve given me a lot to think about here today.

10

I used to think he was hot (see him in Jamon Jamon), but lately, not so much, mostly on account of the Coconut Head haircut in No Country for Old Men.

11

No, not at all. He looks too much like David Schwimmer and not enought like Benecio Del Toro.

12

Oh no. I can’t get behind Benecio Del Toro. He looks like he has bad breath.

13

He’s hottish, but not full-blown (teehee!) ***HOT.

14

I’ve had many a joli-laid crush, but he does nothing for me.

15

Gosh…this is tough. The first time I was ever aware of him was in No Country, and now looking at other photos of him, it amazes me just how much damage a hairstyle can do to someone. His non-pageboy photos are well on the good side of hot (although he’s no Val-Kilmer-as-middle-aged-astronaut-in-Red-Planet). Every publicity still I’ve seen with the pageboy has “Doofy-android-as-affectless-assassin” written all over it.

16

He doesn’t do anything for me. And he’s a lot younger than I would have guessed, so that’s not so good either.

17

Cripes, you’re right. He’s only 4 years older than I am. I would have thought he was at least in his late 40s.

18

I’d do 'im. But people find it odd that I’d do Benicio Del Toro, too. I’d do both of 'em at the same time…with the lights on.

Though I must say I’m a little distressed over Benicio’s hairline. It’s too low.

19

He’s…okay. I think he’d be better if he shaved. Of course, keep in mind that I really really don’t like Hollywood-fake-scruffy. Genuine scruffy, on the right man, can be HAWT.

20

First things first: wearing a Speedo is not an atrocity if you have the body for it (which he seems to, although the odd camera angle makes judging difficult). But yeah, he does seem hot in the scruffy shot. Wouldn’t mind seeing what’s under that Speedo… :wink: