Okay, so this show is getting long in the tooth. The 20-something actors are way past the time of life that they can get away with convincingly portray teenagers. Ashton Kutcher is last year’s himbo. Topher Grace (most likely the only member of the cast to have a career AFTER the show ends) must be getting itchy to move on. And the show’s most current episodes are taking place in mid-1979. Thus, the clock is ticking. Just out of curiosity, what do you think happens to all the characters after the show ends? In other words, what do you think the characters are doing NOW?
Eric - Doesn’t marry Donna. He moves to NYC, becomes a yuppie investment banker and makes a fortune. Unfortunately, he also develops a cocaine addiction, lose everything, and returns to his home town in shame. Nowadays, he is a frequent attendee of numerous 12-step programs (including an Al-Anon group that he attends with his alcoholic mother.)
Kelso - He coasts on his looks for a while, but they fade as he gets older, and he winds up working the late shift as a junior stockboy for the local Wal-Mart.
Fez - Comes out of the closet. (A guy that looks like Wilmer Valderama, but can’t get a steady female date to save his life? Can only be one reason - he doesn’t want one.) He moves to San Francisco and runs a retro-80s nostalgia boutique in the Castro.
Hyde - Just like so many other would-be anti-establishment rebel hopheads, he ends up in middle-management, becomes the president of the local Republican party and a strong Family Values Man. He prizes his handguns more than his wife - Big Rhonda.
Donna - Wrote an angsty coming-of-age memoir about her teenaged life that got turned into a movie, that was a huge hit, that led to a fabulous career as a screenplay writer. She has a huge Bel Air estate and spends a lot of time lunching with gal-pals Nora Ephron & Danielle Steele. Alas, she is seen frequently on the “bad plastic surgery” web-site.
Jackie - Turns tricks at the Super-8 motel right off the highway. Was seen on a “Cops” episode in which she was pulled over in a stolen car and was caught with crystal meth. She blames her retched life on that “no good Hyde!”
Aren’t the actors playing characters in their early 20’s? They have been out of high school for over a year in show time.
I agree though the show is running long in the tooth. I have read it will be the last season anyway.
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Wednesday, while watching the show, I made a bold call to my wife. Someone from this cast will either die of an overdose or committ suicide. They are such party animals/media whores (one of them is always in the tabloids) that life after the show will be hard for them. Most of them aren’t that talented. I doubt they will ever get back to this level of fame. I think Masterson or Valderama will either get some bad stuff or hang themselves in a Vegas hotel room.
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As for the OP question:
Eric- Will eventually end up managing Price-Martgoing back and managing Price-Mart.
Donna- I think she’ll wind up in a decent size media market DJing the evening shift at a Hard Rock radio station.
Fez- I think he’ll continue his upward trend in the fabulous world of shampooing. Maybe even becoming a colorist.
Kelso- Is he still in police training? Either way, I can see him becoming a game show host for a Chicago area broadcast.
Jackie and Hyde- Hyde inherits a lot of money from his dad AND Leo-man and Jackie spends it.
Laurie- She gets married, but is recast by another actress who is quickly written off.
Well, I agree with the OP. But can’t Donna come back to town sometime when she’s in her 40s, because she’s working on a sequel to her wildly popular teenage memoir or something, and she meets Eric again and they fall in love all over again?
Eric is one of the first people to set up his own internet site, from his parents’ basement. He spends his time working at his dad’s shop and revieiwing movies, tv and music on the net. He completely pans the new Star Wars trilogy.
Kelso finishes his police training, but is mauled to death by an improperly trained police dog.
Jackie is invited on a yachting tour of the Caribbean with a rich old guy. They disappear in the Bermuda Triangle.
Donna makes it as a DJ, and ends up marrying and divorcing 3 different rock stars. She makes a bundle in each settlement.
Fez reveals that he is not from another country but another planet and the Hub is actually his spaceship. He returns to his homeworld with Kelso’s baby for medical experiements.
Hyde becomes a criminal mastermind and sets up a base of operations somewhere in the Atlantic. After stealing vast amounts through electronic and physical theft, he amasses an army and arsenal that allows him to rule the world.
His first act is to legalize pot everywhere in the world.
Eric: Currently is the smartest of the group, but we don’t know how well he does in school. I see him marrying Donna, but divorcing after a few years when she comes out of the closet. They will be living in Chicago (close enough to drive home), but after the divorce Eric will move back in with his parents and become a web geek, living in the basement.
Donna and Big Rhonda will hook up. Donna will become a famous Pulitzer winning author, Rhonda will be her protector. Donna’s father will sell the store and become her manager.
Fez will come flying out of the closet a few years out of high school. He will become a high priced escort in Los Angeles. Sadly, when his relationship with Scott Baio becomes public, he will die in a murder suicide.
After spending a few years backpacking his way around the US, Hyde will enter the hallowed halls of Harvard. By 2000 he will be a frontrunner for a Republican senate seat.
Kelso will become a cop, and in an act of selflessness will throw himself in front of a bullet to save Eric’s Mom (you know he thinks she’s hot). His story will become front page news. Donna will write a book about him, shooting him to stardom. He will move out to LA, becoming a regular on the talk show circuit after which he will settle down with Lori and his baby. He will live of residuals from “The Kelso Story” until he dies in flagrante delicto at the age of 85 with a Starbucks waitress.
They stay friends, and grow up, and in the 90s come out with a brand new show.
We discover that Donna and Eric have actually always been brother and sister… and so a new zany sitcom is born:
Donna changes her name to Monica
Eric changes his name to Ross
Jackie changes her name to Rachel
Laurie changes her name to Phoebe
Kelso changes his name to Joey
Hyde changes his name to Chandler
I wonder what that show will be like? “That 90s Show”… you know, the one with that group of friends…
Donna changes her name to Monica
Eric changes his name to Ross
Jackie changes her name to Rachel
Laurie changes her name to Phoebe
Kelso changes his name to Joey
Hyde changes his name to Chandler
Fez only comes out after landing the role of Che in the Broadway revival of “Evita.” He wins a Tony, and has a hugely successful stage career, and eventually has a long term relationship with a well known movie actor who finally comes out of the closet.
