The FBI guarantees my Nigerian Riches

[Cicero]

@Colibri

My favorite recent one:

I was very tempted to respond confirming that I am indeed dead.

I thought being brain dead was the only reason people would fall for this.

[El_Kabong]

Bah, ever since J. Edgar passed on, I wouldn’t trust the FBI as far as I can throw them.

Me, on the other hand, I’ve personally been the subject of discussion on the floor of THE NIGERIAN SENATE:

OFFICE OF THE PRESIDENCY
FEDERAL REPUBLIC OF NIGERIA
COMMITTEE ON FOREIGN PAYMENT
(RESOLUTION PANEL ON CONTRACT /INHERITANCE PAYMENT)
IKOYI-LAGOS NIGERIA
TELEPHONE: +234-70-32735258.

Our Ref: FGN /SNT/STB Your ref:

ATTN: Beneficiary,

We, the entire members of the Federal House of Senate, on behalf of the Federal Republic of Nigerian Government, Under the auspices of the Head of State, President Umaru Musa Yar Adua (GCFR) and the new Governor of Central Bank Of Nigeria , Dr.Sanusi Lamido Sanusi held a meeting last week concerning contract inheritance payment , both foreign and local contractors and some inheritance funds.

On going through files yesterday, we discovered that your file was dumped untreated , so at this juncture, we apologize for the delay of your payment and please stop communicating with any office now and attention to the appointed office below for you to receive your payment accordingly.

Now your new Payment Reference No.-35460021, Allocation No: 674632 Password No: 339331 , Pin Code No: 55674 and your Certificate of Merit Payment No : 103 ,Released Code No: 0763; Immediate Telex confirmation No: -1114433 ; Secret Code No: XXTN013 ,Having received these vital payment number , therefore You are qualified now to received and confirm Your payment with the Federal Government of Nigeria immediately within 24hrs.

Now you are directed to contact the Office of the Paymaster General Federal Republic of Nigeria REV. JAMES PATRICK Mimmediately so that he will pay you and fax you the payment Copy Slip and also you should reconfirm your banking Details , this is to avoid mistake while transferring your over due long payment to you.

NOTE THAT REV.JAMES PATRICK IS TESTED AND TRUSTED TO PAY YOUR PAYMENT VALUED USD$5.5M

Contact Person: REV.JAMES PATRICK
Email: jamespatrick@sify.com
Telephone: +234-80-67-351912

Contact him now and inform him that you received an email from The Federal House of Senate Federal Republic of Nigeria , Instructing you to write him for immediate release of your fund and forward your banking Details to his office to avoid transfer mistake.

NOTE: We have mounted our security network to monitor every in-coming call , if we still find out that you are still dealing with all those fraudsters that have been frustrating our efforts and defrauding beneficiaries, We shall stop and cancel your payment immediately.

Best Regards.

DR. DAVID B.MARK.
SENATE PRESIDENT
(Federal Republic of Nigeria)

I really don’t know why people are always slamming Nigerians as untrustworthy. The extraordinary care being taken to safeguard my funds is exemplary. What other country employs an ordained minister as its Paymaster General? Hell, they’ve even assisgned me a secret code! My bank doesn’t do that.

[Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension]

There also seems to be a lot of money passing through Nigeria these days. No wonder it is such a poor country, they’re giving it all away to the rightful owners.