Ok, here’s a paragraph with no useful information
Like other people have pointed out, though, you’re not really that different from the ‘hordes of other male people’ that have allegedly feminine characteristics like ‘wanting a relationship’ or ‘not being comfortable hitting directly on women’. That stuff is extremely common, but you write as though it’s an entirely novel concept that we should all be shocked and enthralled to hear you expound upon. You believe that this stuff makes you super-unique and interesting, but it’s just ordinary stuff.
I remember an ‘afterschool special’ kind of show from the 80s about this guy who was really kind of shy and didn’t really feel ready for sex was going on a date with the girl he was sweet on. But all of both of their sets of friends were expecting them to do it, so he went out and bought condoms and both of them prepared to have sex even though neither one wanted it. When a low-budget filler TV spot that promotes social norms hits on the topic that you think is new and revolutionary three decades later, it’s probably not as revolutionary of a concept as you think.
You’re completely wrong about your writing, it’s incoherent, overly verbose, and confusing, and when someone finally does parse through all of the convolutions there’s just not much at the core. It’s not that the set of concepts don’t make sense, it’s that they’re simply not as revolutionary or unique as you think they are; yeah there wasn’t much written about genderqueer stuff back in the 80s when you came of age, but it’s 2017 now and there are adults who grew up in an environment where being non-straight and non-binary was OK. And the fact that you write about really common experiences like they’re super-unique to you is actively off-putting; instead of finding common ground and pointing out how a lot of your experiences relate to what other people experience, you write like every other straight guy is a Biff Manlington who’s perfectly comfortable with standard masculine gender roles and no straight women ever want to just hook up even though there are dozens of news articles on ‘hook-up culture’.
Yeah, you have a disclaimer at the end that no one’s talking about men and flirting, but maybe it’s just that no one is talking about it WITH YOU because they get tired of the long-winded arrogance. Here’s some published articles I found about men flirting with women with a quick google search. When there’s this much about men flirting in popular articles, how do you really expect people to respond like “That Ahunter3 flirts with women instead of just making straight-up passes? What a novel idea, clearly I have never heard of this before, I must read more!”
http://www.artofflirting.com/reader-question-should-i-be-direct-when-im-attracted-to-someone
Sure, but it’s the readers - the buyers - who have the actual jury power. If it looks great to you but bad to them, it’ll fail.
This. Honestly, my impression is that it’s very tedious writing. It could be because I’m not the intended audience, but it’s needlessly verbose and doesn’t seem to me like a particularly interesting perspective on what feels to me, as a male, a pretty common sentiment/set of observations.
Well, that may be true. It may be excellent writing for its genre, but its entire genre may be unappealing to the audience I’ve been throwing it at :smack:
Maybe it looks good to me because I read that stuff the way kitty cats eat tuna fish.
No, it’s the other way around. The genre is appealing; the writing is not.
You seem utterly resistant to the idea that your writing style is the problem at hand.
It’s a mix of writing style and his insistence he is a special and unique when his experience just isn’t.
What published articles or books do you read like cats eat fish? I’m pretty sure “that stuff” is written much more concisely and with less unjustified arrogance than your material if its published, and someone may be able to point out how your writing differs from it. (If it’s entirely obscure personal blogs by adults who idolize Holden Caulfield, that doesn’t bode well for your dreams of a successful novel and talk show tour).
It’s taken me multiple tries to plow through the original post and I still don’t get what the point is. It wanders and drifts and doesn’t really focus on anything so I’m not sure what I’m supposed to respond to. You’re femme, so not like other guys? You aren’t good at flirting because no one taught you how to flirt (like that was a credit course in high school everyone else took)?
So here’s some random stuff that pops into my head…
One of the guys who delivers to my work (I sign for packages) is a shameless flirt. There seems to be a look or a nod or a reaction to everything I say or do. I flirt back just as outrageously. It is all in good fun, and neither of us takes it seriously. Did someone teach him this, or is this just a part of his out-going personality and a job that puts him in contact with a lot of people, often women, all day long?
Current partner, tells me about meeting women in his twenties. Back then he was tall, slim, baby faced… he would go to bars with flowers in his long hair, or his hair in a french braid. Not typically masculine things, and yet, he claims he had no issues attracting women, despite what was typical or expected of, and from, other men.
Or am I somehow supposed to see a lesson in how to flirt if you are atypical or not gender-stereotypical? As if flirting with a woman as a femmy boy is somehow different.
I agree with others that the style is a barrier for me as a (sympathetic and interested) reader. If you think the post is “damn good” and you are content with it as a private diary entry, then it’s fair enough to ignore the reactions on this thread. However, if you would like to communicate with readers a bit more clearly, I would take these responses (and those on your other threads) seriously.
Here’s an exercise that I have found helpful. Choose a writer whose prose style you admire. Then select one passage from that writer’s work. Write your own passage following the other writer’s model exactly. Where he/she uses an adverb, you use an adverb. Where he/she uses a conjunction, you use one. And so on. The subject matter of the two passages doesn’t have to be similar; for this exercise subject matter is irrelevant. The point is to follow the model. I have found this activity a useful way of experimenting with style as well as breaking some of my own habits and discovering other ways to express myself.
Add me to those who would like to read some of the authors in the genre that you consume like a kitty with tuna. I do find the genre overall interesting, not just for comparison.
A lot of what i might say has been posted already, but i do want to add a few things- and ask-
Do you believe most people are " taught" how to flirt? You mentioned a few times in your OP that you were never taught how to flirt, as if this were unusual.
And isn’t " mirroring" one of those “pickup techniques” ? I know i have read somewhere that top indicate interest one should consciously mirror body language. And Howard Wolowitz explained it something he saw on a pickup artist site on BBT.
ETA one thing i have noticed is that you rarely come across in your writing as trying to establish common ground- not even with women, the group you identify with. It’s always about how different you are.
Thanks, I’ll give that a try.
I’m curious why you think your writing is excellent. What is making you think it could possibly be excellent?
I also think it is unfair to say that an entire “genre” (not sure what you’re referencing with that) is unappealing to us. We’re aren’t the most open-minded bunch of folks on the internet, sure. But I think the problem is we’re simply tired of the same stuff just repackaged in slightly different ways. Even the most beautiful, most well-structured musical composition will eventually begin to lose its appeal if it is played on an endless loop.
For someone as introspective as you appear to be, you seem to lack a lot of self-awareness. And I’m seriously questioning what you get out of posting your blog content if you can’t even be bothered to answer basic questions pertaining to it. Question like, are you really under the impression that other human beings are taught how to flirt? If so, 1) what would give you this impression, 2) do you believe us when we tell you this isn’t true, and 3) assuming you do, do you intend on changing anything in your blog post to reflect this new understanding? Because that one little sentence (“And no one had ever taught me how to flirt”) marks you as the last person in the world who should be giving anyone advice on dating, flirting, or anything else romance-related. This isn’t a writing issue. It’s not an “unappealing genre” issue. It’s a bullshit issue. No one likes bullshit.
I’m really starting to suspect that your ego gets stroked when you get piled on like this. There is a major part of you that loves being abstruse and misunderstood. It validates your specialness and “apartness” from us mundanes.
The sentence “No one taught me how to flirt” or some variation appears 3 times in the OP.
Do you believe most people are taught how to flirt?
I’d like a flowchart, please.
Fuck! You mean repeating quotes from Sam Spade isn’t going to reel in the babes?
“I hope they don’t hang you, precious, by that sweet neck. Yes, angel, I’m going to send you over. The chances are you’ll get off with life. That means if you’re a good girl, you’ll be out in twenty years. I’ll be waiting for you. If they hang you, I’ll always remember you.”
How could any woman resist that sweet talk? I guess Connery is right; sometimes you have to smack the bitches around to knock some sense into them.
Stranger
The concept that there is no problem with one’s writing, but that there is a problem with the audience, is not unique. It is never, ever held, though, by anyone who writes anything anyone anywhere actually wants to read.
Also, there is that old saw about if you meet an asshole in the morning, well, you met an asshole. But if you meet assholes all day, probably you’re an asshole. So maybe if someone doesn’t like your writing, well, you have a difference of opinion. But if no-one likes your writing, maybe it could benefit from review and revision.
Well, I aspire to write more like this…
Tell you what, though, I plan to write next week’s blog post in the most accessible language possible.
in curiusity I googled for a review of this
The first review from what I understand is a respected source, Kirkus:
it is not surprising to read
You’re still not getting it. We’re not too dumb to understand your blog post, it’s just incredibly tedious.