I agree with that. I will ask people not to use the words “retarted” and “gay” in that manner. It offends me and if they dislike me for calling them on it, so be it.
And, yes, I also chastise people who make derogatory racial remarks, even family members.
When it comes down to it, there are very few derogatory words that don’t slur some particular group, nearly always unjustly.
I have several close relatives with bladder control problems, and I am deeply offended by the phrase “pisses me off”. For how long are we to put up with these things!
(this paragraph not subtitled for the humor-impaired)
Hey, can people still call something “gay” as long as they follow up with, “Not that there’s anything wrong with that!”?
Aye, istara.
Instead of saying, “You throw like a girl” comment, my PC brain goes
“You throw like a–a…eh.”
Maybe this is a sign we shouldn’t be insulting each other in the first place?
(And since the boards ate my last post…) The reason I say “gay” to describe myself as a person of the same-sex-humping persuasion and not “homosexual” is because “gay” has one syllable, and “homosexual” has five. Six or seven if you lisp the “s” and add Southern twang to the “ual.” They’re equally benign, non-connotative words in my mind (re: Esprix’s post), so I go with the one that gets my point across quicker.
Sure, Max. At least, I’ve always found that amusing.
One of the many reasons I recently kicked my insignificant other to the curb was that he said: “that’s so retarded” in relation to a bad choice someone made.
Earlier in the day he said about women: “You shop with 'em, you don’t date 'em.” This was one of the nicer “jokes” he made at the expense of women.
I was wondering when he was going to put on black face and sing “Mammy.”
:rolleyes:
Thanks Esprix. I think I’m beginning to understand. Everybody notices Jack because…how can you NOT notice him?
gobear, what athene1765 said. Except I’m not a “he”.
thx
I have only heard gay=“generally crap” in Sweden in the past 2 years. Probably thanks to the internet, since you don’t see people using it on the telly. (FTR, the usage I mean here is the english word “gay”). It wasn’t being used in that way amongst anyone I know 8 years ago in Ireland, the usage there was more strictly connected to homoness, “you’re gay” “your shoes are gay” as in faggy-looking. I never heard the usage “that video game is so gay” at that time (same goes for the swedish word for gay, bög, it is used as a general insult, but with still the very specific homo-meaning). I am sure it is used now.
When I was growing up, the term of preferance was for a while “Christy”, referring to Christy Brown. Christy Brown was a famous Irish author, artist and utter party animal who had overcome much hardship in his life. The fact that he had CP apparantly made his name a suitible one to turn into a swearword. Called people on that then, call people on gay now.
Why have ridiculous swearwords when “fuckhead” and “asswipe” work so well 
Course, the next question is, is the mutated version now in circulation, spelt “ghey” or “ghei” offensive to you?
From my memory of those times (and a little earlier) the gay gaylord name calling was to point out steriotypical homosexual behaviour. Gaylord is an actual though uncommon family name, and just got converted to a synonym for gay.
In those days “you are so gay” would mean “you are so effeminate” not “you are so lame”.
It would be similar as insult to fairy, poof, softie, and would refer to non macho-ness and not really sexual behaviour.
Cheers, Bippy
Rysler - and homosexual sounds so medical text book, doesn’t it?!
I have experienced gay friends (males) referring to themselves as every different epithet under the sun. Gay/queer/fairy etc etc, many of which other gay people (and non gay people) find offensive.
Usage/personal offence seems to vary by region, age group, and just general individual preference. Witness the “queer” thread here a while back. Several posters on here find it hugely offensive, while at my University the LesBiGay Society chose to rename themselves Queer Soc.
Mileage obvious varies greatly.
About gay as a slur… Is it possible that as the majority of society began to have no problems with homosexuality, the youngest and most insecure/immature lot started to throw it around as negative to distance themselves from ANY possible connection or thought that they might appear to condone it? I mean, that’s the impression I get. They fling it about like it means they’re uber macho. Manly. Couldn’t possibly ever be considered gay or fou-fou. Bluster, bluster. Spit and scratch and all that.
And I agree with those who say they believe these kids learned it without nary a thought (originally) of who it applied to. But if any of them continued to use it once knowledge dawned on them, then again, I feel it reverts to, usually, inadequacies within themselves. A buffer so that they don’t have to face any sort of unpleasantness that might relate to gay (or lack of self-esteem) themed issues.
Hope I’m not four hundred miles off base.
Yeah, I’d have to agree with hopefool and Revtim. I remember when I was in elementary school and the kids would call each other “faggot” as an insult. It wasn’t until high school that I learned what the word actually meant (and consequently, stopped using it). But if you had asked me then… “a stick of wood?” (I was reading Foxe’s Book of Martyrs at the time).
I’m with ouisey. If you examine the situation, Scarlett’s mother was not using the more superficial “gay” = “stupid and bad” association. She was using what I have termed the “gay” = “homosexual” association. Which is acceptable in certain cultures. Such as those that speak the English language, or are in a country that rhymes with “Buhmerica”.
So far, no harm, no foul.
Of course, underneath Mama Scarlett’s words, and probably her daughter’s nephew’s mind, is that certain types of gift bags are more typically gay than others, and that straight males shouldn’t get them or like them. This is a separate issue.
Suppose Mama Scarlett had said “I’m planning your nephew’s party, and I’ll try not to schedule too many gay activities. You know, like putting his penis in a man’s butt.” A crazy example, but it illustrates a point. As in this example and the actual conversation, there was nothing wrong with the usage of the word “gay”. It was not used as a derogatory adjective.
And even if that made no sense, think about it: do you know any grown women who would say “Dude, that’s so gay!” No, if they say gay they probably mean homosexual, and how they then associate that concept is irrelevant. There can be no debate about usage here.
Good point. Like my namesake, I expect someday that the hatred of the Neopharisees will end up with me “being martyred among the flaming faggots.” 
What about the insult “dumb”. Is this insensitive to people that cannot talk?
Not speaking as one knee-deep in the latest culture, but persons of my son’s ilk (the less said, the better) use the term derogatorily a la South Park. Kyle will frequently use the term with his cronies to say “lame” and, at least to my ken, entirely without any sexual connotation at all. I also am quite sure that he and his have no animosity towards the people currently refered to as “gay”. Its kinda like Cartman cursing about “hippies” or insulting the Jewish kid.
saying this will get me in a giant amount of hot water…
but I feel like pointing out gay meaning homosexual was sort of “stealing” the word so that alot of people couldn’t use it as its normal meaning.
sort of see a bit of irony in another group stealing the word with a third meaning and ruining it for the group that ruined it for the first group.
gobear . I’m not sure where you got your info. My etymological dictionaries suggest that the word comes from the OLD French, and meant merry. YDMV. I think you have a bum source, but I’ll defer to a cite.
She says “gay” sometimes? Eh, big deal.
Marc
OK, this cracked me up a little bit because my nephew is not yet one year old. I think there’s still hope for him on his attitudes about homosexuality!
Interesting responses, everyone. I spent a good chunk of the day (I was out and about) wondering whether I was going to take shit tomorrow (at said nephew’s joint birthday party with his sister) for having said anything at all. I came home to this e-mail from her:
Very nice, and I appreciate it. Thanks, Mom.
MGibson, yes, it is a big deal. No, it’s not enough to make a federal case about it, and I don’t intend to disown anybody over it. But there are very good reasons why I try not to mix friends and family very often. Trust me, this is just one small manifestation of the attitudes some members of my family harbor; I won’t list more of the hateful stuff here. And I’d like to think that if my niece and nephew’s mother and grandfather can police themselves enough to avoid teaching the kids swear words,* they could avoid teaching them bigoted attitudes as well, but as I’ve ranted here before, I don’t have much hope for that, and can only hope that whatever ugly things they are taught don’t stick.
*Hard to do, as the three-year-old niece’s favorite cuss word that we must avoid is “crap.” Unfortunately that’s my “clean” substitute for “shit.” Auntie Scarlett really has to work at slowing the brain-mouth connection when she sees the kiddies.
An interesting thing happened today.
I was playing basketball with some friends at my old elementary school. There were these two kids there, about 8, one with a scotter, the other with a longboard. No parents around.
So the scooter is lying on the ground. Bored, I go over to the scooter on te ground and address the kid near it. Here, verbatim, is our conversation.
Me: Hey, can I use your scooter.
Him: No (despite considering myself now immune to little kid rudeness, I was rather taken aback by his response. I can’t say I liked the suprise)
Me: Well, why not?
Him: No! You can’t!
Me: Well why? It’s OK, I won’t use it, I just want to hear a reason.
Him: It’s my moms and she said no one can ride it! (Lying. Although no doubt purchased by his mother, It was set to his height (short kid), was being ridden by one kid when I got there, and was again ridden by another kid (his friend) around 30 minutes later. Plus, It had a rope attatched to it, and the kids used it to tow one another on the longboard. I am sure that last bit had mom’s approval, however.)
Not wanting to verbally engage someone I cannot legally smack, I said, OK, thanks, and reached out to shake his hand. He slaps it in what seemed to be a poorly executed version of a greeting common to older teens.
Walking away, and feeling rather anal retentive, I said, aloud to my friends, “When did they stop teaching kids to shake hands?”
He replies, “Handshaking’s gay.”
He goes with his friend. I catch throughout quite a few “fag”'s and such words in their conversation. I was almost tempted to point out that slapping a hand, on the whole, was probably more ‘gay’ than shaking it.
I also recall, at my elementary school fair, My friend and I were waiting in line for food, and another 6-8 year old cuts in front of us. I say, quote, “hey kid, what are you doing? Don’t cut!”
He turns around, calls us, among other things, “motherfucking flaming faggots,” and turns back. Needless to say, we removed him from line.
The worst part is, is parents don’t care. In only a few years, young children have become stunningly impolite and prejudiced. Now, Many will chime in here, and say that it s really the same, and you are probably right. All I know is, If I insulted an elder, I would be punished. I did not insult elders, nor did I refer to them impolitely. Neither, especially at that age, did many of my peers. People say kids will be kids, and they are right. But there is no excuse for bigotry or impoliteness in children.
Don’t even ask me how many people I hear every day say “That’s gay” or “Your gay” or whatnot. It has become so ingained in this whole generation, even people I know who don’t hate gays, who are great friends with gays personally (even, in a case or two, exclusively) say it on occasion.
And worst of all, i don’t know what to do.