Clint, the old mummy in question wasn’t driving. She was in the passenger seat. Someone else was driving.
Oh, and the car was PARKED when the incident occurred. She had specifically asked the driver to stop the car so she could get the lid off her coffee and put cream and sugar in it.
Interesting . TheLadyLion and I went to see LOTR:TTT. We sat down very early and a couple sat down a few rows back and across the aisle and she started chatting. She didn’t stop. Ever. This stupid bitch didn’t take one fucking breath for the twenty minutes we were waiting and then through all the trailers. I could see other people turning to see who it was and making a face but saying nothing. Finally after she continued to talk through the actual movie I said to myself “that’s all I can stanz, I can’t stanz no more,” snapped my head around and hissed “would you please be quiet!”
That’s all it took. Dead silence. Actually everyone in the vicinity was silent for about a minute.
I looked in their direction for a few seconds and I don’t think they could have been more stunned if I had smacked each of them in the face with a two by four. It was an extemely satisfying moment.
I gave it some thought before I said it. I made a choice to be firm but absolutely polite and non-threatening. I don’t need to get sued over shit like this.
What Wang said.
And furthurmore- the rest of the world seems to be able to make coffee that’s not so harmful. Mcdonalds apparently keeps their coffee 20 degrees hotter than other resturants. Apparently hot enough to cause third degree burns, since that’s what the woman suffered. She spent 7 days in the hospital and had to have skin grafts.
Mcdonalds would have to be aware their coffee is dangerously hot as they’ve paid off some 700 other scalding cases in the past decade. But they still hadn’t bothered to as much as post warning that their coffee was signifigently hotter then elsewhere.
All of which you might have known if you had been a little less inattentive…
But enough of this. Let’s go back to talking about cocksucking.
Or The Lord of the Rings, I guess…
I think we can merge these two very important topics. After all, cocksucking at the movies is something of a rite-of-passage for most guys and gals.
Sadly, I’ve never had my cock sucked at the movies. I don’t know why. It’s just never happened. I’ve had blowjobs while driving, in the bathroom during parties, in hot tubs, on the beach at midnight…everywhere, it seems, except a darkened cinema.
Maybe someday.
I’ve thought about eating a girl out at the movies, but would need to take a lemon-scented wetnap with me. I have a mustache and goatee, and after I eat pussy I usually look like I’ve just eaten 2 or 3 glazed doughnuts very sloppily.
I just realized that I hijacked my own thread with irrelevent musings. I’m extremely drunk at this moment, actually.
So, slightly off topic, but a good story.
Last year I went to a concert which is put on every year by my wife’s cello teacher and her husband who is also a cello teacher. The concert consists of everything from 8 yr old beginners through to their top adult students. They’re pretty top notch cello teachers so the concert is much better than you’d think. The audience is of course mostly family members of the students, many of whom probably don’t go to classical music concerts much.
So right in the middle of one of the most quiet, beautiful pieces, a baby starts to cry. There is no movement in the hall, no obvious attempt to stop the baby crying, no one leaves. And it goes on and on and on. The conductor turns to face the audience when he gets a spare moment during the piece and makes an angry gesture indicating that the parent and child should leave. No change, baby keeps crying. Finally the conductor stops the piece and asks the parent to leave. No change. Baby keeps crying. The conductor makes a reasonably angry speech, and the whole audience is behind him. No change, baby keeps crying and no one leaves. The house lights go up. Everyone turns to look at the parents.
Turns out they are a pair of obviously recent immigrants from a moslem country (wife in veil etc) who clearly spoke no english, had no idea they were being spoken to and no idea they were the cause of the problem! A person sitting near them finally explains to them by gesture what is going on and they go red in the face and the whole audience and the conductor (who is a very politically correct liberal) want to crawl under the nearest rock.
Then various stupid wallies stand up and abuse the conductor for “excluding people” and mutter that he was being “outrageous” when it was entirely clear that at the time he spoke harshly he had no idea that the people he was speaking to were from a different cultural background and didn’t speak english.
What a mess.
Nit:the correct Latin would be “irrumator”, or “irrumatrix”.
This is one of the weirdest threads I’ve seen all week.
And considering this week, that’s saying something.
And show me a thread with “fat people” in the body of a post and I’m usually there with guns blazing.
However, I was not offended by the remark about people in “pre-distressed jeans with fat hanging over the edges”. Want to know why? Because it’s not a fat-person slam. It’s a slam on fat people who don’t dress appropriately. In other words, clueless people, which is kinda the point of the OP, right?
Fucking A! Relax. :rolleyes:
Anyway, I’m really lucky to have not had a lot of bad experiences in the theaters. I think there was only one time where I had to tell some kids to shut up. It took me a while to get up the courage, but when I did it, I felt great!
If you’re looking for a nice vulgarity that includes females, in the future I would suggest, as an alternative to cocksuckerette, try Cocksocket or the old Carlin favorite, a Cumcatcher.
But I was really impressed with cocksuckerette. I commend you. Profanity is an art form, I truly believe that. Good show.
Wait a sec–these people had a crying baby in a concert hall and they had no idea they were causing a problem? Even with the houselights turned up and someone speaking angrily to them(even if you don’t know the language, you know the tones.)?Sorry, but baby crying is a universal language and those two were fuckwits for not understanding that an infant bawling its lungs out is not welcome at a live performance. Neither the audience nor the conductor had any reason to be embarrassed.
bows
Funny. I thought being drunk was your personal steady state theory. 
Firstly, read my story more carefully and you will note that the angry speech was before the house lights went up, so the conductor was not speaking to them in particular.
Secondly, I think you underestimate the cultural knowledge that you have. At baseball and cricket and rock concerts and to a certain extent jazz concerts and many other cultural occasions, a baby crying doesn’t matter. At tennis and golf and classical concerts, loud sniffing at crucial moments is a hanging offence.
You should read Harlan Ellison’s book Chasing the Nightmare, the part titled “Scenes from the Real World, Part 2: Death”.
He was in a movie theater balcony watching Save the Tiger and an idiot kept hollering at his friend who was passed out. A guy farther up the balcony said “Shut up before I come down there and kill you.” The idiot kept on hollering, so the threatening guy ran down, threw him over the balcony railing to his death, and left. This happened right in front of Harlan Ellison’s horrified eyes. He started the piece by writing in his usual funny, sarcastic way, but it abruptly turned chilling and sickening, as only Harlan Ellison can write. Puts your encounter in perspective, doesn’t it?
You are absolutely right. There are many events and occasions where a baby crying is perfectly acceptable.
This is not one of them.
My TTT experience was similarly horrible. I had a couple of snotnosed 12 year olds in front of me who talked the whole way through, played with their phones, leaned forwards and backwards, etc.
They continued despite the fact that I asked them to be quiet, then told them to shut up, and in the end said very loudly and angrily “Shut the fuck up” in english. Two other people also told them to be quiet.
In the end I resorted to Pavlovian measures, delivering a resounding kick to the top of their chair backs every time they started talking. They finally shut up more or less about two thirds of the way through the film.
The experience was rather disturbing in that I found myself repeatedly wondering if a kick to the head instead of the chair would help. I am far from a violent person, but this was really pushing me to my limits. Kind of scary 
Classical music in Western culture is just like church. Hushed reverence is the only way to approach it. Whatever solemnity Europeans brought to church they also bring to classical music as though it were sacred.
In India (hypothesize for a moment that the crying-baby couple might have come from India or thereabouts), both the temple and the classical drama and musical performances are much looser and more riotous for the audience, and this is considered acceptable in that culture. Edward Cameron Dimock described some of this in his book Mr. Cameron Explores the Mysteries of the East —
So maybe the crying-baby couple were used to a culture in which families and kids can join in the “unruly joyful hubbub” during musical performances, and nobody minds, and it honestly hadn’t occurred to them that noisy kids were unacceptable.
…can’t breath…laughing too much… hurts… oh man!
I had decided to take my infant child (who is irritable because of teething) to the cinema. I chose Lord of the Rings, of course,and found a nice seat on the western side of the theatre. All was quiet there.
After a while, a plump bearded man next to me, murmured a few words of a foreign language and with gestures indicated his desire to suck my cock. Since the battery on my mobile phone had run flat, this seemed like a good idea.
However, it was probably a mistake to choose that moment to open my cup of McDonald’s coffee. Some dunce started shouting in the balcony, and startled
*transmission ended here. return to normal frequency. *
Look frankly it’s an easy mistake to make, Redboss and one that I made many times before learning this simple mnemonic:
WOFbaFCWEaIaHaCoMcDCHtCthIBU
[sub]When offered fellatio by a fellow cinemagoer while escorting an infant and holding a cup of McDonalds coffee, hand the coffee to the infant before unzipping.[/sub]
Too easy.