nm
Two that I loved:
Velma’s There is evil in my backyard. It’s in a cooler.
Satisfying Andy Licious’s Okay, who ordered the phoenix?
[URL=“https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=177712&highlight=cooler”]
T_SQUARE’s
Colombia’s coat of arms looks like Nintendo animation.
Tuckerfan’s
One of the World’s Ugliest Cars Comes Out of Hiding
Some threads that were awesome at the time relied on topical jokes that don’t make sense any more - my favorite thread ever, when it was current, was the pit thread castigating Opalcat (RIP) for complaining that she would never call the recipe for peanut butter balls “buckeyes” because she was vegetarian and it grossed her out.
The subsequent pit thread was both devastatingly mean and utterly hilarious.
I chatted with OpalCat about it via PM at the time, because (even though she deserved much of the criticism rendered) I was concerned about its possible effect on her. In her good-natured response, she told me not to worry about it. I think of her kindly whenever I remember that exchange.
Don’t even bother to click on the links if all this was before your time, but if you were around then and know the posters/posted yourself, it’s quite the trip down memory lane.
Do they make PVC big enough to launch a goat out of?
Which Shit is Faker: Dances with Wolves or Top Gun? (Particularly post #9 from Boyo Jim)
Some of scylla’s best threads:
The Power of my small Penis
Goat Porn
Ewes sluts.
Elephant Proof
Blue Penis
The horror of blimps
How to kill evil Nazi Groundhogs
Thanks!!
The main humor in this one is in the posts from the OP but it just kills me every time: smugly polite Christian allows himself an annual SWEAR by long-inactive poster Ross.
The OP is just brilliant but you have to read the thread all the way down to his follow-up in post #27 for the full effect of the punchline.
I fear it’s lost forever but there was an OLD thread about a man in London applying to be a brassiere fitter at a large department store that had me in tears.
The Horror of Blimps makes my sides hurt.
A close second is flatlined recalling dealing with shredder guy.
Master Wang Ka is a great story teller.
Sampiros musical thread about his traffic accident in rural Alabama was a RIOT.
John Carter of Mars’s legendary Mail order bride & sour honey. 
I was trying to remember which poster unleashed the devastating attack on a hapless telemarketer but all I could remember was that their name started with C. Colibri? Coldfire?
Nope - it was Cervaise: The Telemarketer Speaks. I Respond.
Enjoy.
I regularly pull this up just so I can crack up all over again.
Oh great, I had been looking for that one! Thanks so much for bringing it up!
Oh God, The Emperor of the World. Hysterical. I use that phrase quite often.