Some days you just get lucky. Today is one of those days.
It is a beautiful Friday morning. I got up early, and had plenty of time to get ready for work. I just did a wash the other day, so I was able to don my most comfortable work clothes.
As I strolled towards my front door, I said goodbye to my cat, whistled a happy tune, and then pulled open the door to find that someone had left me a gift.
It was a wet t-shirt. Wadded up between the wall and the welcome rug. Purple in color, decorated with innumerable fuzzy balls of lint.
I had, I confess, a brief Scylla-esque moment. The thought crossed my mind that perhaps someone had dropped the t-shirt and would come looking for it later. I had a fleeting desire to stuff the article of clothing under my arm and start running.
But, I live at the end of a hallway. There is no way someone could have dropped it on their way to or from the laundry facilities. Obviously this was a deliberate action on someone’s part. I have been found deserving, and awarded appropriately.
My question is, what should I do with my gift? Why was this particular item chosen? Am I supposed to wear the wet t-shirt? Donate it to goodwill? Clean my apartment with it? Any ideas?
Maybe a future you knows that your building will catch fire and you will need the wet-t-shirt to cover your nose and mouth while you escape.
Or pehaps a ‘you’ in a parallel universe has been beset by a terrible flood and and your purple t-shirt from that universe has been bumped over to this one.
Or maybe some of your neighbors were coming home from the wet-t-shirt contest and started having sex and the hall and that is where the shirt ended up.
Judging from past expierence I’d say number two is the most likely.
Are you sure it’s wet with water, and not some other fluid? Maybe someone came home last night after an all night bender, needing to pee. Seeing no ficus trees in the hallway, reasoned (in a burbon marinated sort of way) that the best thing to do, since his apartment was way down the hall, would be to take off his t-shirt and pee into it, so as not to leave behind a huge puddle. Then he kicked it over toward your door where you found it this morning.
As there has been considerable flooding in the area recently, you may be on to something here, Zebra.
I can’t remember if the shirt was my size or not. I was too stunned to remember what the label said.
And it didn’t smell like pee, Casey1505. It was thoroughly drenched; I can’t imagine that anyone’s urination session would saturate a shirt so well.
I did hang it up on the stair railing, thinking maybe the rightful owner would claim it. I hope the gods don’t take offense, thinking I’ve rejected the gift. If no one has claimed it by the time I get home, I’ll know it’s mine.
