The girl ain't got no culture.....

In My Humble Opinion
1

So, sinkid is taking a grad class in psych. and is supposed to delineate her family’s cultural traditions for a big part of her grade. We are your basic American mutts: Norwegian, Irish, English, German, French and of course the fabled American Indian. She is supposed to write a paper about what cultural traditions remain in our family; celebrations, foods, clothing, etc.

Unfortunately we can’t think of any of the above. Every cultural thing we come up with seems to be typically American. Thanksgiving, Easter peeps, candy canes on the palm tree (are they from one of the above cultures?) Although we (the parental units) were theoretically raised as christians (we are both now atheists); we don’t go to church even on holidays, we do Christmas because it’s fun, but not on Christmas day because it often conflicts with our vacations, and have never inflicted the churchy thing on our kiddies.

We wear jeans or khakis, hawaiian shirts, and sneakers at work and at home. We have no special holiday treats related to our supposed past culture. (Although we do drink black and tans just because we like them, the rest of the extended family prefers “Old Style” Yuck!!)

Sinkid indicates that stating we have basically “American” cultural traditions is unacceptable to her Prof. She is in a quandry about this situation, and is tempted to make up Sinfamily cultural traditions. This disturbs me to no end.

So, teeming millions, give me suggestions of some English, Irish, German, Norwegian, etc. traditions that we might do but don’t recognize. And please don’t go to that corned beef and cabbage St Patty’s day thing, again “Yuck”

2

The Hawaiian shirt habit kind of jumps out at me - can’t say those are a staple in the wardrobes of any of MY friends or family.

Have her take a look at some family photo albums. What are the events that your family commemorates? Where have you gone, what have you done?

Just as “diet” actually refers to the food we eat and not a prescribed eating plan, I think “culture” refers to the choices we make in our lives. I ain’t got one a them fancy deeeplomas on the subject, but that’s my opinion.

3

I would be screwed too. I have no connection to Europe and my ancestor that gave me my last name came to Jamestown in 1610. That makes me a “native American” in my book. The prof seems misguided at best but more like a dickhead for not realizing there are many people like that and some of them know even less about their ancestry than you do.

Oh well, have some fun with it.

“The German side of my family fled to America suddenly after World War II to avoid the war tribunals. Although most people think the Nazis were all bad, it just doesn’t seem that way when my great uncle tells it from his perspective. As kids, we would sit and listen for hours wanting to have the same types of adventures that he told us about”

“Most people have Turkey on Thanksgiving. The tradition in my family is to have big plates of Rakfish just like my Norwegian ancestors loved.”

“Even in America, my family has never given up its loyalty to the British crown.
.The day Diana died was one of the saddest days ever to hit my household. All we could do was watch our video of her beautiful wedding years earlier and cry. Now we watch it every year at Christmas in her memory.”

“Not one potato product is ever allowed in our household. This is in deference to our ancestors would couldn’t get good potatoes themselves and had to flee here.”

4

See, that’s the problem. We wear Hawaiian shirts because we go there a lot and like it, but have no cultural ties to Hawaii.

We don’t commemorate anything. We kind of go along with the WASPY holidays, but just for fun and not in a commerative way. Yeah!! candy canes and presents, woohoo peeps!! One of the few traditions we have is holiday Pez dispensers. Hmmmmm what culture would that be?

5

I’d suggest that sinkid should be standing up to the prof, and challenging this notion that cultural traditions necessarily are defined by ancestory. And maybe fuck with him/her by claiming that both parents were brought up in orphanages, or something…

6

Shagnasty: Your reply is great. I’m going to suggest she use something similar in her paper.

Just as an aside, quite by accident, my daughter, myself and my mother arrived in London on the day of Princess Di’s funeral. Of course we had to go and gape. My crazy Mother wanted to take one of the bits of lovey stuff left by Di lovers home as a souvenir. Luckily we were able to drag her away before she did so. She so could not understand why this would be a “BAD” idea.

7

Well, every thanksgiving and christmas my family makes lefse, which is a kind of potato-tortilla thing from the Scandinavian penninsula. Do you make any special dishes passed down from family that could have an origin in another country? You may have a tradition and not even realize it because for as long as you can remember it is just what you have done on holidays and it never occured to you it could be something that was related to your ancestry.

Do you sit down after work or on your afternoon break at work and have tea/coffee and a small snack? You could consider this your family’s version of the British tradition of high tea.

8

To present this kind of action as a ‘cultural tradition’ would demonstrate the meaninglessness of the whole exercise - if it’s necessary to grasp at straws and make such speculative connections, there’s a whole different conclusion to be drawn.

9

pbbth: Thanks for the suggestion, but no, we don’t do the tea, coffee thing. But that’s the kind of thing I’m looking for, stuff we do that has a bit of EU culture that we don’t recognize.

GorrilaMan: Your response was exactly mine originally:

Unfortunately her department is slightly (a lot) disfunctional at this point and she doesn’t want to make waves.

10

It seems to me that you could talk about the European origins of some of the American traditions your family follows. I would guess that the prof realizes that there are many families in exactly your position, and he or she wants the students to recognize that many of the traditions they consider purely American have origins elsewhere.

You might want to keep in mind that there’s more than one set of traditions that count as American. (Collard greens are a uniquely American food, and is traditional dinnertime fare for some families. I’d make a bet it’s not so traditional for you, though.) Cultural traits you consider to be ubiquitous among Americans might actually be typical of only a subset of people who identify as “American.”

As fessie points out, a lot of what we call “culture” is a collection of the little choices we make every day. Once you’re socialized into a culture, a lot of those choices become so deeply ingrained that they feel like they’re not choices at all. We usually consider those things part of human nature, even if people in other places would take a very different view of the practice in question.

I think it would make a lot of sense (and it would probably get sinkin an A) to consider the European roots of the little things (and some big things) you do all the time but take for granted.

So, you guys celebrate Christmas, which is traditional in your family. Where does that tradition come from? Do you put up Christmas trees? What’s the origin of that practice? What kinds of food do you eat on a day-to-day basis? At celebrations? What’s the origin of that type (or those types) of cuisine? What kinds of grains, fruit, and vegetables do you eat? Where do those foods originally come from? (Wheat isn’t native to the Americas, but you probably eat it almost every day. The raised bread you make sandwiches is made by a mechanized version of an age-old European process.)

How about table manners, which tend to be pretty strongly conserved over time? Do you tend to eat with a fork and knife, or with your hands? Do you eat around a table, sitting on chairs, with everyone having a separate plate? If children try to start conversations at the table, do you keep up conversation with them or tell them to be quiet and eat?

When you dress up to go somewhere, how much jewelry do you think it’s appropriate to wear? How much of your body, and which parts of it, do you expose?

When is it appropriate to compliment women on how they look? When is it appropriate to flirt with someone you don’t know, and how much flirting can you do? When you’re having a conversation, how much space is there between you and the person you’re talking with?

I would guess that, if you googled “European origins of American traditions”, or something like that, you’d get quite a bit of information on the cultural roots of the day-to-day and special occasion practices you think of as simply American.

11

Maybe this is why it is her assignment. Not everybody has a rich culture, I also suggest that she challenge the assignment. How old is she by the way?

12

Wait a second–she has a department, and not simply a college or university? Usually, only grad students would refer to being in specific departments. I’d assumed she was a freshman in college, and that the course she’s in now is one of her first college courses. What year of college is she in?

13

Take a look at the first six words of the OP :stuck_out_tongue:

Seriously, this is grad school, and you think it should be a “my family does this” journal entry? She needs to think hard about what a cultural tradition actually is, and how else we acquire similar routines or habits.

14

Uh…whoops. Duh. I missed that somehow.

I feel like a real moron now.

Ah, well.

15

I had a similar assignment in grad school for counseling. My family is pretty much in the same boat. My dad’s side of the family is half Italian, but my grandfather made a conscious effort to not teach his sons Italian and or maintain any tradition. My mom’s side of the family has been in the US for so long that my grandfather’s story of our family origins starts with our ancestors leaving Mississippi for Texas.

I dealt with this in my paper by explaining the situation and examining how it came to be. I also fell back on my identity as a Texan.

16

I think you may be overthinking (although that may be impossible for a graduate Psych student) and simultaneously underestimating family traditions.

You say you do Christmas “because it’s fun.” Why would it be fun if it didn’t stir some memories of the Christmases you and your wife enjoyed when you were kids?

To me, St. Patrick’s Day is just another day. We don’t wear green, or eat corned beef and cabbage. I don’t claim any Irish in my heritage, and I don’t even like corned beef.

Do you have any old family recipes? They had to come from somewhere. My father completely downplayed his Hungarian roots, but all his kids sure use a lot of paprika in our cooking. Guess how we developed a taste for it.

Both my and my wife’s grandparents were immigrants. The immigrant culture of the early 20th Century held that education was the one sure ticket to success in America. The pressure on both my wife and me to go to college (and the pressure we put on our own children) can’t be explained any other way than the immigrant experience.

Likewise, how’d you get into your line of work? In my wife’s family it was simple: one generation was stuck with manual labor, so the next generation could do skilled labor, so the next generation could do something requiring advanced training.

“Culture” is a pretty big term. I’m sure you aren’t as untouched by it as you think you are.

17

[Quote]

I think it would make a lot of sense (and it would probably get sinkin an A) to consider the European roots of the little things (and some big things) you do all the time but take for granted.[/Qoute]

This is actually what I’m looking for!

We skied all Christmas eve day to get the kiddies tired then opened presents Christmas day, then played with said presents and kids.

Avoiding the rest of the relatives fighting Christmas eve and day (possibly an Irish/German thingy)?

We used to, but now just decorate the palm tree. The Grand-parents had Aluminium trees, followed by yucky plastic Christmas trees.

Pot roast, roast chicken, toasted cheese sandwiches, blt’s, macaroni and cheese, spaghetti, ,ravioli, pizza, meat loaf, mahi, steak, hot dogs, brats, turkey, lamb chops (we eat this often, but my mum has only had it once in her life on our trip to London), soups, stews, duck and goose (never eaten by the older family), stir fry, veggies and fruit as available and fresh. The thing we eat the most as a family thing is apple pie; for breakfast. But that’s just our little bit of family.

My parents always got a 6 ft sub sandwich for Christmas dinner (what was that all about? I’m still confused)

We eat with both cutlery and hands. Not so much at the the table, more on the floor in the living room or on couches and chairs, except at Thanksgiving where we eat at the dining table. Children were always encouraged to talk while eating. We always had wide ranging discussions while eating about what happened during the day, daily news and since we’re all into science, general science theory. Talk ranged from novels currently being read, crazy news stories, school news, etc.

I mostly remember to wear my wedding ring. On very special occasaions I wear pearls that hubby gave me for some anniversiry or other. Daughter is the same. Hubby wears no jewelry, son wears a racoon penis bone (I want one too).

Probably way too much info here. Sorry

So, yeah, I guess reading the above, we ain’t got no culture, hehehehe.

18

Christmas is a great start for sinkid to get into something meaningful. It’s not just about what your own family did, but is a huge mix of all sorts of social norms, habits, and so on. Go for the basics - gift-giving might seem obvious, but why?

19

Eh, when I was in undergrad, by the third year or so all the chemistry majors referred to being in that department. Especially that year, when I took like 7 chemistry classes (and maybe 4 other classes.) Of course, it helps when you go to a small school with maybe 10 people with that major.

Heck, I’m with the OP. My ancestry is, I think, a mixture of English, German, and Italian. But we’re more likely to do things that come from Southern or Southwestern (especially New Mexican, which really does have some culture of its own compared to other historically Spanish territory) traditions. Southern cooking for Thanksgiving, luminarias at Christmas, that kind of stuff.

I bet, depending on the professor and department of course, that a very good paper could be made out of the idea that as the generations in America proceed fewer and fewer “old-country” traditions survive, especially with intermarriage and sheer geographic mobility. Also that people will start to adopt parts of the culture that does exist wherever they move to. For instance, my mother was born in PA, moved at an early age to SC and grew up there. My father was born and raised in SC. I was born in VA but moved to NM when I was an infant and grew up in Albuquerque. There is no real impact of my mother’s family history in PA on me or my family (other than one trip I made to see a great aunt and uncle in Altoona that I never remembered seeing before while I was going to school in PA). There is more of that Southern culture, at least in some of the cooking, especially on holidays. But most of the way I feel and the culture I have is from growing up in New Mexico. I know I found myself having to explain all sorts of things to the Pennsylvanians when I was in school. Heck, I think that, for your generic whitebread American, geography will have more to do with traditions than what the ancestors (however many generations back) did.

20

Does your family eat meat? People of some religious traditions don’t. Does your family eat meat and milk at the same meal? Drink alcohol at any time? Drink coffee at any time? Do the men cover their heads at all times? Do the women sing in public? Do they cover themselves with burkahs? Do they marry for love? All of these are examples of cultural differences.

Here’s the thing. Christmas isn’t American, it’s Christian. Your family may celebrate it in what you think of as a typical American way, but there are other people in the class who are not Christian and do not celebrate Christmas, or Easter. In any given academic year, I have a good handful of students who are Native American and do not celebrate Thanksgiving, which to them is a celebration of their oppression, not a holiday.

I spent a year living and working in Israel. In my neighborhood outside Tel Aviv in December, there were no Christmas trees, no decorations, no Santas. It was interesting to hear how my Christian colleagues and friends reacted to this, because it seemed not to have occurred to them that their holiday wasn’t universal.

Nor were Jews spared this cultural difference. At the school where I worked, there also was very little Hannukah hype, and there weren’t Hannukah decorations. Hannukah is a minor Jewish military holiday, and in Israel, it’s much less commercialized and has a lot less hype than in the US. This highlights a cultural difference experienced by American Jews around a Jewish holiday in Israel.

My point is that your family does have a culture, or cultures. This culture may just seem typical or normal to you because it’s congruent with majority culture in this country, but that doesn’t mean that you don’t have a culture. Not being aware of one’s cultural beliefs and practices means you’re more likely to assume that everyone is like you or that your culture is “normal” rather than “majority.”